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>> Even car accidents... I hate when a real car accident is attributed to a drunk driver when it was not. There are plenty of wrecked cars from actual drunk dr

>> Even car accidents... I hate when a real car accident is attributed to a drunk driver when it was not. There are plenty of wrecked cars from actual drunk driving, you don't need to lie to get an example. Some people think their intentions justify their actions, even when their actions can accurately be described as "lie" or "cheat" or "for profit" or some other dishonest thing. This may be effective in many cases, but in others it discredits your efforts and perhaps even your cause. Random acts of kindness DO happen, but are usually not captured on video.

Mordisquitos 4y ago
> Random acts of kindness DO happen, but are usually not captured on video. Indeed. In fact, when the act is intentionally captured on video by its performer, not only is it already very debatable that it is an act of "kindness"... but it is also obviously NOT "random"! (For the colloquial meaning of "random" of course)
- b112 4y ago
  I recall a few years back, I was going to visit someone, and bought flowers. Before I left, plans changed, so now I was in the mall parking lot, and had (to me) useless flowers. In the parking lot, I saw an older woman sitting in her car. I walked up to her, proclaimed "surprise, flowers!", which she took, and I walked away. It is sad to think that these days, it almost makes more sense to just throw them away, instead of giving a bit of unexpected joy to someone. (the woman seemed surprised, and happy)
  - gambiting 4y ago
    The difference is that you didn't use the opportunity to promote your brand on social media, nor did you trick her into holding the flowers for you just to disappear. I think the reaction would have been completely different if he did actually present those as a gift.
    - b112 4y ago
      Sure, but my point was, as a reply to the thread above, now people my be hesitant to receive such a gift as genuine. Or give it, for fear of a negative response... the well is being poisoned.
      - deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
- nonameking2026 4y ago
  You can make the case that it's not an "act of kindness" when your motive is self promotion and gratification. Also giving someone flowers is quite a cheap kindness. Help somebody in need out. Or just go clean the streets. No good content clickbait video to be made of you picking up the trash ?
  - mjevans 4y ago
    If cynical enough, no act is selfless. That phrase, to 'remove yourself from the equation' applies here too. That leads to a better 'test' and metric.
    - datavirtue 4y ago
      'remove yourself from the equation' The real definition of compassion.
- gnicholas 4y ago
  > when the act is intentionally captured on video by its performer, not only is it already very debatable that it is an act of "kindness"... but it is also obviously NOT "random"! I was about to propose to my girlfriend and was setting up my DSLR on a tripod to take photos via IR remote (she thought we were just going to take photos of us at sunset). Then a guy came walking by and offered to take the photos for us. I demurred, but he said he had the exact same camera and knew how to use it. So I quietly told him what was about to go down, and he took a bunch of great photos of our engagement. For at least a year after, my wife didn't believe that he wasn't a plant!
  - bshipp 4y ago
    Usually you can tell a plant by their lack of opposable thumbs and green pallor.
    - greyhair 4y ago
      This is one of those rare replies where I wish I could just dance away at the upvote. But I can't, so I'll leave this note instead. Thank you.
    - Crespyl 4y ago
      That's only the obvious ones.
- Dylan16807 4y ago
  > Indeed. In fact, when the act is intentionally captured on video by its performer, not only is it already very debatable that it is an act of "kindness" Only if you're going into the whole "every act is selfish" kind of thing. > but it is also obviously NOT "random"! (For the colloquial meaning of "random" of course) Why not? It only takes a few seconds to start filming. If you mean having a camera person, that starts to get into the weeds, but it depends on how much planning there was and how it was done.
  - karaterobot 4y ago
    > Only if you're going into the whole "every act is selfish" kind of thing. There are selfless acts of kindness, but this isn't one of them. There's no conflict there. He did it to make a video he could monetize on TikTok. It's his job. It's a really simple distinction. > If you mean having a camera person, that starts to get into the weeds, but it depends on how much planning there was and how it was done. If he went to that mall and bought flowers and picked a sympathetic-looking subject, with the intention of filming a video of himself doing it to upload to TikTok, it's not random. It's premeditated. I don't mean that in the legal sense, though it probably applies. I mean he thought about it in advance, so it's not "random".
    - Dylan16807 4y ago
      > If he went to that mall and bought flowers and picked a sympathetic-looking subject, with the intention of filming a video of himself doing it to upload to TikTok, it's not random. Okay but that goes way beyond the general-case statement I was responding to.
  - gwd 4y ago
    “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you." --Jesus
alias_neo 4y ago
My wife and I, individually, and on various occasions over the years, have paid for random strangers' shopping. We don't do social media, we don't even tell anybody, except for this one time, right now to support your point, so I think it's appropriate in this case. We've told each other because we talk about our finances and it's reasonably to discuss why the grocery bill was double triple, etc what it would have been for what was brought home.
- greyhair 4y ago
  When I was young, and broke, an old guy bought my lunch one day when I was traveling. He left before I even got the bill, but the waitress told me he was a regular, and he left a simple note. And the note said something along the lines of "I was once young like you, and I know how scarce money can be when you are young. I hope that when you are older, that won't be a problem for you, and that you will pass along the favor" Which I have done on a couple occasions, including the note, so they understood my motivation. I am hoping that when they get old, they'll pass it on.
- teakettle42 4y ago
  Would you mind sharing how you do this without making it awkward for the recipient or a spectacle? I’ve never been able to work that part out.
  - blix 4y ago
    If someone doesn't have enough cash to pay for the groceries they brought to checkout, it's already an awkward situation.
    - elliekelly 4y ago
      I'll never forget the kindness a stranger showed me at Logan airport the day before Thanksgiving. I was already cutting it kind of close to departure time and my boyfriend had gone ahead to board so I figured I had just enough time to duck into one of the shops to get a bottle of water for the flight. It wasn't until the clerk rang me up that I realized my wallet was in the bag my boyfriend had taken onto the plane for me! A remember frantically digging around in my purse for loose change (talk about desperation!) and even though I can usually bank on my purse having plenty of change floating around at the bottom airport water is expensive AF! I don't know why I didn't just walk away, panic of the moment, I guess? But finally a lovely woman behind me saved me from my desperate coin hunting when she stuck her arm out next to me with $5 in her hand and said "Happy Thanksgiving!" The awkwardness of not being able to pay was pretty uncomfortable but she really, truly, made my day!

Mordisquitos 4y ago

> Random acts of kindness DO happen, but are usually not captured on video. Indeed. In fact, when the act is intentionally captured on video by its performer, not only is it already very debatable that it is an act of "kindness"... but it is also obviously NOT "random"! (For the colloquial meaning of "random" of course)

b112 4y ago
I recall a few years back, I was going to visit someone, and bought flowers. Before I left, plans changed, so now I was in the mall parking lot, and had (to me) useless flowers. In the parking lot, I saw an older woman sitting in her car. I walked up to her, proclaimed "surprise, flowers!", which she took, and I walked away. It is sad to think that these days, it almost makes more sense to just throw them away, instead of giving a bit of unexpected joy to someone. (the woman seemed surprised, and happy)
- gambiting 4y ago
  The difference is that you didn't use the opportunity to promote your brand on social media, nor did you trick her into holding the flowers for you just to disappear. I think the reaction would have been completely different if he did actually present those as a gift.
  - b112 4y ago
    Sure, but my point was, as a reply to the thread above, now people my be hesitant to receive such a gift as genuine. Or give it, for fear of a negative response... the well is being poisoned.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
nonameking2026 4y ago
You can make the case that it's not an "act of kindness" when your motive is self promotion and gratification. Also giving someone flowers is quite a cheap kindness. Help somebody in need out. Or just go clean the streets. No good content clickbait video to be made of you picking up the trash ?
- mjevans 4y ago
  If cynical enough, no act is selfless. That phrase, to 'remove yourself from the equation' applies here too. That leads to a better 'test' and metric.
  - datavirtue 4y ago
    'remove yourself from the equation' The real definition of compassion.
gnicholas 4y ago
> when the act is intentionally captured on video by its performer, not only is it already very debatable that it is an act of "kindness"... but it is also obviously NOT "random"! I was about to propose to my girlfriend and was setting up my DSLR on a tripod to take photos via IR remote (she thought we were just going to take photos of us at sunset). Then a guy came walking by and offered to take the photos for us. I demurred, but he said he had the exact same camera and knew how to use it. So I quietly told him what was about to go down, and he took a bunch of great photos of our engagement. For at least a year after, my wife didn't believe that he wasn't a plant!
- bshipp 4y ago
  Usually you can tell a plant by their lack of opposable thumbs and green pallor.
  - greyhair 4y ago
    This is one of those rare replies where I wish I could just dance away at the upvote. But I can't, so I'll leave this note instead. Thank you.
  - Crespyl 4y ago
    That's only the obvious ones.
Dylan16807 4y ago
> Indeed. In fact, when the act is intentionally captured on video by its performer, not only is it already very debatable that it is an act of "kindness" Only if you're going into the whole "every act is selfish" kind of thing. > but it is also obviously NOT "random"! (For the colloquial meaning of "random" of course) Why not? It only takes a few seconds to start filming. If you mean having a camera person, that starts to get into the weeds, but it depends on how much planning there was and how it was done.
- karaterobot 4y ago
  > Only if you're going into the whole "every act is selfish" kind of thing. There are selfless acts of kindness, but this isn't one of them. There's no conflict there. He did it to make a video he could monetize on TikTok. It's his job. It's a really simple distinction. > If you mean having a camera person, that starts to get into the weeds, but it depends on how much planning there was and how it was done. If he went to that mall and bought flowers and picked a sympathetic-looking subject, with the intention of filming a video of himself doing it to upload to TikTok, it's not random. It's premeditated. I don't mean that in the legal sense, though it probably applies. I mean he thought about it in advance, so it's not "random".
  - Dylan16807 4y ago
    > If he went to that mall and bought flowers and picked a sympathetic-looking subject, with the intention of filming a video of himself doing it to upload to TikTok, it's not random. Okay but that goes way beyond the general-case statement I was responding to.
- gwd 4y ago
  “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you." --Jesus

alias_neo 4y ago

My wife and I, individually, and on various occasions over the years, have paid for random strangers' shopping. We don't do social media, we don't even tell anybody, except for this one time, right now to support your point, so I think it's appropriate in this case. We've told each other because we talk about our finances and it's reasonably to discuss why the grocery bill was double triple, etc what it would have been for what was brought home.

greyhair 4y ago
When I was young, and broke, an old guy bought my lunch one day when I was traveling. He left before I even got the bill, but the waitress told me he was a regular, and he left a simple note. And the note said something along the lines of "I was once young like you, and I know how scarce money can be when you are young. I hope that when you are older, that won't be a problem for you, and that you will pass along the favor" Which I have done on a couple occasions, including the note, so they understood my motivation. I am hoping that when they get old, they'll pass it on.
teakettle42 4y ago
Would you mind sharing how you do this without making it awkward for the recipient or a spectacle? I’ve never been able to work that part out.
- blix 4y ago
  If someone doesn't have enough cash to pay for the groceries they brought to checkout, it's already an awkward situation.
  - elliekelly 4y ago
    I'll never forget the kindness a stranger showed me at Logan airport the day before Thanksgiving. I was already cutting it kind of close to departure time and my boyfriend had gone ahead to board so I figured I had just enough time to duck into one of the shops to get a bottle of water for the flight. It wasn't until the clerk rang me up that I realized my wallet was in the bag my boyfriend had taken onto the plane for me! A remember frantically digging around in my purse for loose change (talk about desperation!) and even though I can usually bank on my purse having plenty of change floating around at the bottom airport water is expensive AF! I don't know why I didn't just walk away, panic of the moment, I guess? But finally a lovely woman behind me saved me from my desperate coin hunting when she stuck her arm out next to me with $5 in her hand and said "Happy Thanksgiving!" The awkwardness of not being able to pay was pretty uncomfortable but she really, truly, made my day!