4 ms·

Have another kid within 2-3 years. Over the next 16 years you as parents will have hours to yourself every day while the kids keep each other company. Single ch

by ttjjtt 4y ago

Have another kid within 2-3 years. Over the next 16 years you as parents will have hours to yourself every day while the kids keep each other company. Single children spend many more hours a week lonely and the parents have to be their sole family play mates at the expense of their own pursuits, relationship & energy. Adults will never be as fun or engaging a playmate as another kid. If you keep the gap within 2-4 years then the kids can both enjoy broadly the same activities and schedules. If you let the gap become wider than that, then their needs are too divergent to meet with the same activities. So each day, week & season ends up being more work & complexity. In the weekends we have to wake up at 6am no matter what because that’s when our 4 yo wakes up. Meanwhile our friends with 2 kids: “sleep in until the kids start arguing“ We f’d it up, it seems so obvious, and we’ve only just realized. No one talked to us about this.

muzani 4y ago
I did this strategy and the kids basically were fighting for the first 4 years. With a third child, they actually learned to play together. Our situation seems to be a little rare though. Most other kids seem to play together well (including me and my sister). It's just our oldest two having incompatible personalities. But if you can afford it, I'd still recommend getting most of the kids at a younger age. Besides the biological/medical issues of having kids at an older age, you'll also have more time for yourself in your 40s.
obruchez 4y ago
On the other hand, with 2-3 children (or more), unless all your children have the same extracurricular activities, you'll spend a lot of time driving/accompanying them to their various activities. Depending on the children, there can also be a lot of fighting going on, which can be tiring for the parents. I'd say the jury is still out on the question of the optimal number of children (including zero).
benhurmarcel 4y ago
I have a 1 year-old, and we're reconsidering the idea of having more kids. Just 1 baby is already so exhausting, time-consuming, and expensive that we don't think we could take a second one.
lnwlebjel 4y ago
I will just add that I was a much better parent when I only had 2.
cutthegrass2 4y ago
Seeing my kids (non-identical twins, 2yrs old) playing together now, I can very much believe this. We didn't set out to have two at once, but we're really pleased with how it turned out for us. To the OP - Congratulations. Becoming a father has been an amazing experience for me. I wish you all the best!

by ttjjtt 4y ago

muzani 4y ago

I did this strategy and the kids basically were fighting for the first 4 years. With a third child, they actually learned to play together. Our situation seems to be a little rare though. Most other kids seem to play together well (including me and my sister). It's just our oldest two having incompatible personalities. But if you can afford it, I'd still recommend getting most of the kids at a younger age. Besides the biological/medical issues of having kids at an older age, you'll also have more time for yourself in your 40s.

obruchez 4y ago

On the other hand, with 2-3 children (or more), unless all your children have the same extracurricular activities, you'll spend a lot of time driving/accompanying them to their various activities. Depending on the children, there can also be a lot of fighting going on, which can be tiring for the parents. I'd say the jury is still out on the question of the optimal number of children (including zero).

benhurmarcel 4y ago

I have a 1 year-old, and we're reconsidering the idea of having more kids. Just 1 baby is already so exhausting, time-consuming, and expensive that we don't think we could take a second one.

lnwlebjel 4y ago

I will just add that I was a much better parent when I only had 2.

cutthegrass2 4y ago

Seeing my kids (non-identical twins, 2yrs old) playing together now, I can very much believe this. We didn't set out to have two at once, but we're really pleased with how it turned out for us. To the OP - Congratulations. Becoming a father has been an amazing experience for me. I wish you all the best!