11 ms·
How have ~5% of married men never been on a date? Is the chart just imprecise?
by sequoia 4y ago
How have ~5% of married men never been on a date? Is the chart just imprecise?
- rpmisms 4y agoI am married, never dated in the normal sense. Met a girl, spent time doing normal things with her, we decided we got along well enough to get married. Coming up on three years, seems to work pretty well.
- piyh 4y agoMeet Girl ??? Marriage
- rpmisms 4y agoMore or less.
- treis 4y agoIt's a cultural thing. Extremely broadly speaking, the West treats love as something you fall into while Asia + some other places treat it as something you build.
- rpmisms 4y agoI'm a born American of Slavic extraction, and my wife is Scotch-Irish.
- anon291 4y agoAmerican culture lacks words to describe love because we don't understand it, and have rejected the western patrimony. America is obsessed with eros and increasingly disinterested in filial love and utterly uninterested in agape love. It leads to an incredibly unbalanced society. Healthy societies ignore erotic love as a fleeting feeling and instead focus on filial love, which is buildable and intentional.
- ecshafer 4y agoDoing normal things together is dating. Maybe I am missing your point. But if you ever went out to dinner together, or lunch, or walked in the park, those are dates.
- rpmisms 4y agoI mean extremely normal things, like grocery shopping, getting coffee in the morning before work, things that would be considered at best poor date ideas by most of the women I know. Sure, it fits the definition of dating, technically.
- dudul 4y agoGetting coffee is a date. Sorry to break your special bubble, you guys dated:)
- rpmisms 4y agoI get coffee with friends and coworkers too.
- anon291 4y agoHappily married man here. I go to dinner one on one with my guy friends. That doesn't mean taking my wife out to dinner is not a date? Doing 'dating' things with friends is totally normal. It's a 'date' when you're doing it with someone you might marry.
- dudul 4y ago"Spent time doing normal things with her" what does that even mean if not "dating"? What's "dating in the normal sense"?
- rpmisms 4y ago> What's "dating in the normal sense"? A semi-formal social structure that lets you get close to people with a reasonable degree of separation from your real personal life.
- tiborsaas 4y agoThe first time you've spent some romantic together or kissed could be considered a date. It's a very loose term.
- rpmisms 4y agoOur first kiss was in a barn standing in sheep shit.
- konfusinomicon 4y agoarranged marriages maybe?
- Broken_Hippo 4y agoA lot (or at least a number) of arranged marriages have dates, though, and honestly that might count as more of a date than I've been on. I have a friend that was turned down (He was fully on-board with the marriage being arranged).
- jakzurr 4y agoYes, sort of, the article calls it "konkatsu (spouse-searching) service."
- TehShrike 4y agoMy wife and I didn't go on dates until after we were married.