4 ms·

> Also not a dating place, they are there to learn to dance. What is a dating place then? Do girls actually go anywhere specifically to date? In my experience

by shmel 4y ago

> Also not a dating place, they are there to learn to dance. What is a dating place then? Do girls actually go anywhere specifically to date? In my experience any event/meetup/whatever that explicitly mentions dating/singles/mingling becomes a sausage fest right away. You could say exactly the same thing about bars and clubs. They are there to have fun with their friends, not to date.

Arkhaine_kupo 4y ago
> What is a dating place then? Well the topic of this post is dating apps where everyone there is explicitly down to date. > In my experience any event/meetup/whatever that explicitly mentions dating/singles/mingling becomes a sausage fest right away. >You could say exactly the same thing about bars and clubs. They are there to have fun with their friends, not to date. I agree, some men act like dating is a hunting ground probably part of the reason why dating apps have so few women. Well my point is that if you ask a woman out at a dance class, she can certainly turn you down because she is not interested in you. But it can also be because thats not what she came for. Like I might love Pizza, but if I go to my accountant and he offers me some, I probably will turn it down. Common interests like dance, can be a starting point for a relationship, and classes with people can be a jumping point to talking and seeing if there is any chemistry. But your intention to going to dance classes shouldn't be dating women, it will never work out that way.
- shmel 4y ago
  I see your point, I even heard something like this from a female acquaintance: "oh, I dance bachata because I just love the dance, why are they all hitting on me?!" And yet, I can hardly believe that the dance where the main point is "how to make a girl grind on your crotch in a way that is acceptable in public?" can be seen as just a dance and nothing else. Before you ask, yes, I danced bachata for many years. As for online dating per se, if we accept that there are a lot more men on dating apps than women, it means only a minority of single women use them at all. If you rely only on apps you will miss out on a huge part of your dating pool. Who wants that?
  - Arkhaine_kupo 4y ago
    > And yet, I can hardly believe that the dance where the main point is "how to make a girl grind on your crotch in a way that is acceptable in public?" can be seen as just a dance and nothing else. Well I can speak of Salsa more than bachata, but you can like the dance without liking the partner. Like I would love to dance a Waltz in my wedding, and would have to practice first, doesn't mean I wanna marry the lady in the class. Some women might want to have their boyfriends crotch but in the class they just have to put up with whoever is there. And again, if you go to a dancing class cause you are interested in dancing. And in a break talk to the people in the class. And one guy likes movies and one girl likes rock climbing and youre like "oh I love rock climbing too" and you talk about that and the next class you talk some more and then you ask her out for a coffee. Thats normal. But if you go to a bachata class, rub yourself like a monkey on people and before knowing their name ask a girl out, then you wont get turned down because you are not a top 5% man. > If you rely only on apps you will miss out on a huge part of your dating pool. Who wants that? I wanted that when I used them. Mostly because it had the advantage that I knew they were looking for dates, and could unmatch if they werent feeling it. I never felt I was imposing on any girl by talking to them on a dating app, so even if it has drawbacks, their ability to leave anytime made it much easier to be forward and honest than if you talk to someone in a cafe.

by shmel 4y ago

Arkhaine_kupo 4y ago

> What is a dating place then? Well the topic of this post is dating apps where everyone there is explicitly down to date. > In my experience any event/meetup/whatever that explicitly mentions dating/singles/mingling becomes a sausage fest right away. >You could say exactly the same thing about bars and clubs. They are there to have fun with their friends, not to date. I agree, some men act like dating is a hunting ground probably part of the reason why dating apps have so few women. Well my point is that if you ask a woman out at a dance class, she can certainly turn you down because she is not interested in you. But it can also be because thats not what she came for. Like I might love Pizza, but if I go to my accountant and he offers me some, I probably will turn it down. Common interests like dance, can be a starting point for a relationship, and classes with people can be a jumping point to talking and seeing if there is any chemistry. But your intention to going to dance classes shouldn't be dating women, it will never work out that way.

shmel 4y ago
I see your point, I even heard something like this from a female acquaintance: "oh, I dance bachata because I just love the dance, why are they all hitting on me?!" And yet, I can hardly believe that the dance where the main point is "how to make a girl grind on your crotch in a way that is acceptable in public?" can be seen as just a dance and nothing else. Before you ask, yes, I danced bachata for many years. As for online dating per se, if we accept that there are a lot more men on dating apps than women, it means only a minority of single women use them at all. If you rely only on apps you will miss out on a huge part of your dating pool. Who wants that?
- Arkhaine_kupo 4y ago
  > And yet, I can hardly believe that the dance where the main point is "how to make a girl grind on your crotch in a way that is acceptable in public?" can be seen as just a dance and nothing else. Well I can speak of Salsa more than bachata, but you can like the dance without liking the partner. Like I would love to dance a Waltz in my wedding, and would have to practice first, doesn't mean I wanna marry the lady in the class. Some women might want to have their boyfriends crotch but in the class they just have to put up with whoever is there. And again, if you go to a dancing class cause you are interested in dancing. And in a break talk to the people in the class. And one guy likes movies and one girl likes rock climbing and youre like "oh I love rock climbing too" and you talk about that and the next class you talk some more and then you ask her out for a coffee. Thats normal. But if you go to a bachata class, rub yourself like a monkey on people and before knowing their name ask a girl out, then you wont get turned down because you are not a top 5% man. > If you rely only on apps you will miss out on a huge part of your dating pool. Who wants that? I wanted that when I used them. Mostly because it had the advantage that I knew they were looking for dates, and could unmatch if they werent feeling it. I never felt I was imposing on any girl by talking to them on a dating app, so even if it has drawbacks, their ability to leave anytime made it much easier to be forward and honest than if you talk to someone in a cafe.