4 ms·

It’s not natural because if you go to a bar or other in person event, the dynamics are much less gender-skewed.

prawn 4y ago
Aren't you comparing the ratio of males and females in the bar to the ratio of matches/messages for males and females on the apps? I'd guess males are initiating contact more than females in bars as well, unless things have changed?
- throwawayarnty 4y ago
  No. I am comparing matches on app with matches at a bar. Both cases would be gender-skewed. But to have the bar scenario be as skewed as the app, one man would go home with all the women in the bar. This is not the case in reality. There are physical limits that prevent skews from being as extreme as in apps.
kmonsen 4y ago
Don’t think that’s true. If the median man and woman went to the bar for the purpose of having sex that night the woman would be way more successful. For most men if they are single and a reasonable attractive woman they have never met before walk up to them on the street and ask if she can sleep with them the man would think of course what is the catch, in the opposite case it would be what a creep. It’s possible this is all cultural/social factors. But they are real.
- throwawayarnty 4y ago
  There is still a gender-skew in the bar scenario, but less extreme as in the app. If bar scenario had same gender skew as app, one man would go home with all the women in the bar that night. There are physical limits that prevent this from happening. When a man is paired up with a woman in the bar, the man must ditch potential opportunities from other women in the bar.
- DeathArrow 4y ago
  >Don’t think that’s true. If the median man and woman went to the bar for the purpose of having sex that night the woman would be way more successful. The men would be more successful, too if they would care less about the sex or gender of their sex partner. I heard gay bars have a very high rate of success.
  - kmonsen 4y ago
    lol that’s true, I guess most men can get on grinder and find a partner if they just want sex
anovikov 4y ago
Maybe for the same reason as why getting freelance gigs is much easier when meeting clients in-person vs on Upwork?
DeathArrow 4y ago
>It’s not natural because if you go to a bar or other in person event, the dynamics are much less gender-skewed. Many bars are in fact men clubs where men go to discuss stuff with each other. AT least, here, in Europe. Also, in my country, I am not aware of "dating bars". Sure there are many bars full of both sexes, sometimes people begin relations or have sex with persons they've met at the bar, but that is not very common because people don't go to a bar with the expectation to have sex or begin a relation, instead they go to a bar to have some time with their friends. Dancing clubs are a bit different, for people between 18 and 30 as some people go there with the expectation to find sex or a relation. I am not sure how things are in US.

Aren't you comparing the ratio of males and females in the bar to the ratio of matches/messages for males and females on the apps? I'd guess males are initiating contact more than females in bars as well, unless things have changed?

throwawayarnty 4y ago
No. I am comparing matches on app with matches at a bar. Both cases would be gender-skewed. But to have the bar scenario be as skewed as the app, one man would go home with all the women in the bar. This is not the case in reality. There are physical limits that prevent skews from being as extreme as in apps.

kmonsen 4y ago

Don’t think that’s true. If the median man and woman went to the bar for the purpose of having sex that night the woman would be way more successful. For most men if they are single and a reasonable attractive woman they have never met before walk up to them on the street and ask if she can sleep with them the man would think of course what is the catch, in the opposite case it would be what a creep. It’s possible this is all cultural/social factors. But they are real.

throwawayarnty 4y ago
There is still a gender-skew in the bar scenario, but less extreme as in the app. If bar scenario had same gender skew as app, one man would go home with all the women in the bar that night. There are physical limits that prevent this from happening. When a man is paired up with a woman in the bar, the man must ditch potential opportunities from other women in the bar.
DeathArrow 4y ago
>Don’t think that’s true. If the median man and woman went to the bar for the purpose of having sex that night the woman would be way more successful. The men would be more successful, too if they would care less about the sex or gender of their sex partner. I heard gay bars have a very high rate of success.
- kmonsen 4y ago
  lol that’s true, I guess most men can get on grinder and find a partner if they just want sex

anovikov 4y ago

Maybe for the same reason as why getting freelance gigs is much easier when meeting clients in-person vs on Upwork?

DeathArrow 4y ago

>It’s not natural because if you go to a bar or other in person event, the dynamics are much less gender-skewed. Many bars are in fact men clubs where men go to discuss stuff with each other. AT least, here, in Europe. Also, in my country, I am not aware of "dating bars". Sure there are many bars full of both sexes, sometimes people begin relations or have sex with persons they've met at the bar, but that is not very common because people don't go to a bar with the expectation to have sex or begin a relation, instead they go to a bar to have some time with their friends. Dancing clubs are a bit different, for people between 18 and 30 as some people go there with the expectation to find sex or a relation. I am not sure how things are in US.