7 ms·

I’m nearly 60. Here’s what I’ve learned about growing old so far

74 points by stichers 4y ago

stichers 4y ago
>>"After 50 one begins to recognise in oneself a growing resistance to change, if only because it so often nullifies years of hard-won training" This really struck home to me. It's true: we teach ourselves life hacks and gradually they become redundant as different life skills are needed.
- perilunar 4y ago
  But also I'd like to think we get better at distinguishing between good changes and bad changes. We should resist the bad changes, or at least explain ad nauseam to the kids that their proposed change a) has been tried before and was crap, or b) is the beginning of the end, or c) is against the natural order of things. ;)
  - heretogetout 4y ago
    Over time I've gotten better at letting others fail. I failed a lot during my career, especially when I was young, and it seems to have worked out for me.
  - jaclaz 4y ago
    Yes, you are perfectly right, but sometimes it is overwhelming/tiring, the bad changes are becoming so common (and supported/accepted by so many people) that "fighting" against them appears to be (and very probably it actually is anyway) completely void of any relevance.
owly 4y ago
Forgetting “all the popular music released between 1999 and 2004” is a GOOD thing!
newbye3 4y ago
I am 60 years old and as a person always learning I have accumulated a huge stack of knowledge and I think my mind is in a very good shape so I still can learn new things quickly. Long time ago I found a good balance between life and work, and a good paid job by european standards. The only problem is that sometimes I envy the 200K $ paid jobs, but there are two main walls to pursue that salary: First: I have no work experience in the IT sector. Second: I have never used AWS and other cloud services.I am risk adverse and receiving a huge bill for cloud services while learning AWS is something that I have avoided. I can solve leetcode and hackerrank problems more or less easily, have a CS and math degree, a Ph.D. in Math, can program in a long list of computer languages, know a lot of stats, machine learning, algorithm, complexity, etc. But at 60, if you have learned to focus in what is important, you will be able to provide an answer to many unknowns and that is a precious skill. So to summarize, at 60 I am in my best moment but you always want more (now is more money).
- citiguy 4y ago
  Have you looked at the free tiers offered by AWS or Azure? It's a great way to learn without spending anything.
  - newbye3 4y ago
    https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26708148 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26708148 The service is only free until you reach their limit. The post has 166 comments.
    - res0nat0r 4y ago
      Best way to prevent that is to set an account billing alert that will SMS you if your bill goes over $X dollars. I doubt this feature will ever be implemented, as trying to provide some kind of real-time spend is extremely hard, especially when there are 100+ service bills that need to be aggregated, which usually is a batch process where these things get resolved.
    - jafo 4y ago
iostream24 4y ago
Except I hate TV and radio and cannot think straight when that NOISE is running yammering and ego tripping away… The grunts are real, however… but I’m only 47 so what do I know
- iostream24 4y ago
  I mean, despite chair time, and I do also have a keyboard rack for my hammock, and a neck rest… I’m do ride 60km on my bike at least once a week and run and bike some daily, in addition to stretching and yoga and stuff… I recently discovered acupuncture and it’s joys. I still grunt, and not just standing up, but contemplating the bewildering array of different things I must do simply by being newly aware of their significance in a given task at hand that I previously was content or able to deal with in a less profoundly holistic manner…
brianmcc 4y ago
I still think of albums released in 2006 as "recent" :-D
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
n4bz0r 4y ago
https://i.ibb.co/yFVFSdS/IMG-20220608-153041.jpg https://i.ibb.co/yFVFSdS/IMG-20220608-153041.jpg Well, now that's a stretch :D
euroderf 4y ago
Yes the grunts are a PITA and you never catch yourself in time, they sneak out as if possessing wills of their own.
- heretogetout 4y ago
  When it happens to me I usually joke "I mean, not-(grunt)" when I'm around my wife. Not so much with others, they might not get it.
chrisdhoover 4y ago
Yes the radio is always on and will remain so. I can’t be bothered by streaming services.
maupin 4y ago
Many of these sound subjective, like always having the radio on.
jhallenworld 4y ago
This concept that old-people skills are obsolete is a completely modern phenomena, and I'm dubious that it's even true. The pace of change is fast, but only because we are still dealing with the consequences of the scientific and industrial revolutions. I now think of all technologies past ~1800 as "modern". Basically you should learn all of it to some degree. 19th century machinist skills? Still useful and valid. The basic design of a lathe has not changed since the late 1700s. COBOL from the 1970s? Nobody is going to throw away so much working code. The first generation of programmers is dying off only now, trust me this stuff is going to be around for a long time. Same deal with C / C++. Oil burner heating from the 1940s? It's a convenient upgrade from the prior coal technology (much easier to pour oil than bunker coal). Most of the systems installed are still there and running. Diesel fuel / jet fuel / heating oil is still probably the most convenient to use energy source. A slight change to how web technologies work? Really not a big deal.. AWS? Their servers are still basically IBM PCs.
- commandlinefan 4y ago
  > Nobody is going to throw away so much working code But, inexplicably, they're also not going to pay (much) for anybody to maintain it.
- derbOac 4y ago
  I'm not sure if this is true or not, but my sense in my own lifetime and in talking to those who went before me that people are increasingly seen in terms of existing certified skills rather than actual skills or abilities. It's as if people are widgets and you need a certified widget to fit in a certain spot in the machine; it's not enough if the widget actually fits but isn't certified as such, and it doesn't matter if it's a free widget producing machine that will produce whatever widgets you want for free from the air around us; it also doesn't matter if these two things are patently true to anyone who will think about it for a second. Maybe I'm just in a bad spot in my life at the moment but I do think many problems in current society are due to some weird phenomenon where people are seen as unchanging objects, and where abilities can't be inferred even when obvious.
  - 4y ago
crubier 4y ago
> Your reflexes may have dulled a bit, but your tolerance for endless repetition will be immense. I think that comes from having kids! I'm currently in that boat
gumby 4y ago
Wow, I’m 58 and I could write almost the exact opposite for each paragraph (ok pop music from 1999-2004 I agree with). No “oof” getting up. Knobs are unremarkable. Continuing to work on things that yes, are intended to change the world. One thing not mentioned: I see someone on the street and they are the spitting image of someone I know well…as they looked 30 years ago.
- TigeriusKirk 4y ago
  I'm in your ballpark age-wise. Physically I'm definitely not as capable as I used to be. Doing construction work like I did when I was 20ish would be very rough. I'm still holding up in terms of slower activity like wilderness backpacking, but strength isn't there, and there are aches and pains. Mentally I'm probably the best I've been in my adult life, but there was a decade or so when that wasn't true. I started slipping, from laziness really, and it took conscious effort on my part to reverse that. My personal theory, founded on nothing but my own observations and biases, is that a lot of middle-age mental decline comes from losing the desire to make the effort. Older age will likely be different, but that's how it feels now. Re your last point, I recently saw someone who was the spitting image of me 35 years ago. It was surprisingly unsettling.
- steve_g 4y ago
  I had the "oof" but I got rid of it by lifting weights, starting at age 51. I don't lift much anymore, because I kept hurting myself doing powerlifting. But it got rid of the "oof." I'm sure there's a happy medium lifting enough to keep healthy but not so much that it causes injury. I've never been good at doing medium.
FerretFred 4y ago
Interesting .. I'm over 60 but under 70. Much of that article was relevant to me. However, talking of attitudes, the one that really surprised me was the increased reluctance of dog-rescue charities to let older people adopt rescue mutts. Not paranoia!
AtlasBarfed 4y ago
Stay in shape people. Fitness pays dividends for decades after the age of 35.
MockObject 4y ago
> Certain common stereotypes of older people – as creatures bewildered by technology and outfoxed by ordinary packaging – have at their root this resistance to pointless change. I have decades of experience in getting the lids off things, all of it rendered useless by these new lids they have now. Packaging gets more infernal every year, and I don't understand why. Fine, put the safety seal on the Tylenol, but I'm routinely forced to commit violence with a box cutter to win prizes that aren't ingestible at all.
- D-Coder 4y ago
  For a while, I was taking an anti-coagulant whose packaging could only be opened with a very sharp blade. <sigh> I suppose a small explosive charge might have worked too but never tried it...
tagami 4y ago
Sounds more like 80 than 60. I am 59, my wife cares for the elderly that are often 95+. Muscle loss is real. Keep up your physical activity and get your ass out of the chair often!
tpoacher 4y ago
Look at the graphics depicting "60 year olds" on the top of the article. Then realise that Tom Cruise in Maverick is 60 years old. Ask yourself the question, does Tom Cruise look like the guy on that chair?
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
lynguist 4y ago
This is what you think when you don’t exercise and aren’t in tune with yourself. You had all this time to do it (get in tune with yourself) and if you still didn’t manage it by 60 (!) it will establish itself and occupy you with these memories etc. that this man has listed. Now listen to someone who lead a different life and you will not get this dread in their answer. If anything this is another reminder how not to live life.

74 points by stichers 4y ago

>>"After 50 one begins to recognise in oneself a growing resistance to change, if only because it so often nullifies years of hard-won training" This really struck home to me. It's true: we teach ourselves life hacks and gradually they become redundant as different life skills are needed.

perilunar 4y ago
But also I'd like to think we get better at distinguishing between good changes and bad changes. We should resist the bad changes, or at least explain ad nauseam to the kids that their proposed change a) has been tried before and was crap, or b) is the beginning of the end, or c) is against the natural order of things. ;)
- heretogetout 4y ago
  Over time I've gotten better at letting others fail. I failed a lot during my career, especially when I was young, and it seems to have worked out for me.
- jaclaz 4y ago
  Yes, you are perfectly right, but sometimes it is overwhelming/tiring, the bad changes are becoming so common (and supported/accepted by so many people) that "fighting" against them appears to be (and very probably it actually is anyway) completely void of any relevance.

owly 4y ago

Forgetting “all the popular music released between 1999 and 2004” is a GOOD thing!

newbye3 4y ago

I am 60 years old and as a person always learning I have accumulated a huge stack of knowledge and I think my mind is in a very good shape so I still can learn new things quickly. Long time ago I found a good balance between life and work, and a good paid job by european standards. The only problem is that sometimes I envy the 200K $ paid jobs, but there are two main walls to pursue that salary: First: I have no work experience in the IT sector. Second: I have never used AWS and other cloud services.I am risk adverse and receiving a huge bill for cloud services while learning AWS is something that I have avoided. I can solve leetcode and hackerrank problems more or less easily, have a CS and math degree, a Ph.D. in Math, can program in a long list of computer languages, know a lot of stats, machine learning, algorithm, complexity, etc. But at 60, if you have learned to focus in what is important, you will be able to provide an answer to many unknowns and that is a precious skill. So to summarize, at 60 I am in my best moment but you always want more (now is more money).

citiguy 4y ago
Have you looked at the free tiers offered by AWS or Azure? It's a great way to learn without spending anything.
- newbye3 4y ago
  https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26708148 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26708148 The service is only free until you reach their limit. The post has 166 comments.
  - res0nat0r 4y ago
    Best way to prevent that is to set an account billing alert that will SMS you if your bill goes over $X dollars. I doubt this feature will ever be implemented, as trying to provide some kind of real-time spend is extremely hard, especially when there are 100+ service bills that need to be aggregated, which usually is a batch process where these things get resolved.
  - jafo 4y ago

iostream24 4y ago

Except I hate TV and radio and cannot think straight when that NOISE is running yammering and ego tripping away… The grunts are real, however… but I’m only 47 so what do I know

iostream24 4y ago
I mean, despite chair time, and I do also have a keyboard rack for my hammock, and a neck rest… I’m do ride 60km on my bike at least once a week and run and bike some daily, in addition to stretching and yoga and stuff… I recently discovered acupuncture and it’s joys. I still grunt, and not just standing up, but contemplating the bewildering array of different things I must do simply by being newly aware of their significance in a given task at hand that I previously was content or able to deal with in a less profoundly holistic manner…

brianmcc 4y ago

I still think of albums released in 2006 as "recent" :-D

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

n4bz0r 4y ago

https://i.ibb.co/yFVFSdS/IMG-20220608-153041.jpg https://i.ibb.co/yFVFSdS/IMG-20220608-153041.jpg Well, now that's a stretch :D

euroderf 4y ago

Yes the grunts are a PITA and you never catch yourself in time, they sneak out as if possessing wills of their own.

heretogetout 4y ago
When it happens to me I usually joke "I mean, not-(grunt)" when I'm around my wife. Not so much with others, they might not get it.

chrisdhoover 4y ago

Yes the radio is always on and will remain so. I can’t be bothered by streaming services.

maupin 4y ago

Many of these sound subjective, like always having the radio on.

jhallenworld 4y ago

This concept that old-people skills are obsolete is a completely modern phenomena, and I'm dubious that it's even true. The pace of change is fast, but only because we are still dealing with the consequences of the scientific and industrial revolutions. I now think of all technologies past ~1800 as "modern". Basically you should learn all of it to some degree. 19th century machinist skills? Still useful and valid. The basic design of a lathe has not changed since the late 1700s. COBOL from the 1970s? Nobody is going to throw away so much working code. The first generation of programmers is dying off only now, trust me this stuff is going to be around for a long time. Same deal with C / C++. Oil burner heating from the 1940s? It's a convenient upgrade from the prior coal technology (much easier to pour oil than bunker coal). Most of the systems installed are still there and running. Diesel fuel / jet fuel / heating oil is still probably the most convenient to use energy source. A slight change to how web technologies work? Really not a big deal.. AWS? Their servers are still basically IBM PCs.

commandlinefan 4y ago
> Nobody is going to throw away so much working code But, inexplicably, they're also not going to pay (much) for anybody to maintain it.
derbOac 4y ago
I'm not sure if this is true or not, but my sense in my own lifetime and in talking to those who went before me that people are increasingly seen in terms of existing certified skills rather than actual skills or abilities. It's as if people are widgets and you need a certified widget to fit in a certain spot in the machine; it's not enough if the widget actually fits but isn't certified as such, and it doesn't matter if it's a free widget producing machine that will produce whatever widgets you want for free from the air around us; it also doesn't matter if these two things are patently true to anyone who will think about it for a second. Maybe I'm just in a bad spot in my life at the moment but I do think many problems in current society are due to some weird phenomenon where people are seen as unchanging objects, and where abilities can't be inferred even when obvious.
- 4y ago

crubier 4y ago

> Your reflexes may have dulled a bit, but your tolerance for endless repetition will be immense. I think that comes from having kids! I'm currently in that boat

gumby 4y ago

Wow, I’m 58 and I could write almost the exact opposite for each paragraph (ok pop music from 1999-2004 I agree with). No “oof” getting up. Knobs are unremarkable. Continuing to work on things that yes, are intended to change the world. One thing not mentioned: I see someone on the street and they are the spitting image of someone I know well…as they looked 30 years ago.

TigeriusKirk 4y ago
I'm in your ballpark age-wise. Physically I'm definitely not as capable as I used to be. Doing construction work like I did when I was 20ish would be very rough. I'm still holding up in terms of slower activity like wilderness backpacking, but strength isn't there, and there are aches and pains. Mentally I'm probably the best I've been in my adult life, but there was a decade or so when that wasn't true. I started slipping, from laziness really, and it took conscious effort on my part to reverse that. My personal theory, founded on nothing but my own observations and biases, is that a lot of middle-age mental decline comes from losing the desire to make the effort. Older age will likely be different, but that's how it feels now. Re your last point, I recently saw someone who was the spitting image of me 35 years ago. It was surprisingly unsettling.
steve_g 4y ago
I had the "oof" but I got rid of it by lifting weights, starting at age 51. I don't lift much anymore, because I kept hurting myself doing powerlifting. But it got rid of the "oof." I'm sure there's a happy medium lifting enough to keep healthy but not so much that it causes injury. I've never been good at doing medium.

FerretFred 4y ago

Interesting .. I'm over 60 but under 70. Much of that article was relevant to me. However, talking of attitudes, the one that really surprised me was the increased reluctance of dog-rescue charities to let older people adopt rescue mutts. Not paranoia!

AtlasBarfed 4y ago

Stay in shape people. Fitness pays dividends for decades after the age of 35.

MockObject 4y ago

> Certain common stereotypes of older people – as creatures bewildered by technology and outfoxed by ordinary packaging – have at their root this resistance to pointless change. I have decades of experience in getting the lids off things, all of it rendered useless by these new lids they have now. Packaging gets more infernal every year, and I don't understand why. Fine, put the safety seal on the Tylenol, but I'm routinely forced to commit violence with a box cutter to win prizes that aren't ingestible at all.

D-Coder 4y ago
For a while, I was taking an anti-coagulant whose packaging could only be opened with a very sharp blade. <sigh> I suppose a small explosive charge might have worked too but never tried it...

tagami 4y ago

Sounds more like 80 than 60. I am 59, my wife cares for the elderly that are often 95+. Muscle loss is real. Keep up your physical activity and get your ass out of the chair often!

tpoacher 4y ago

Look at the graphics depicting "60 year olds" on the top of the article. Then realise that Tom Cruise in Maverick is 60 years old. Ask yourself the question, does Tom Cruise look like the guy on that chair?

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

lynguist 4y ago

This is what you think when you don’t exercise and aren’t in tune with yourself. You had all this time to do it (get in tune with yourself) and if you still didn’t manage it by 60 (!) it will establish itself and occupy you with these memories etc. that this man has listed. Now listen to someone who lead a different life and you will not get this dread in their answer. If anything this is another reminder how not to live life.