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I've found that frequently bluffing in life pays off. Generally you don't get caught very often and the cost of getting caught generally isn't very high, even i

I've found that frequently bluffing in life pays off. Generally you don't get caught very often and the cost of getting caught generally isn't very high, even if the stakes are. You have to be prepared to take your way out of sticky situations though.

mettamage 4y ago
Could you give an example of this?
- permalac 4y ago
  Not OP. I've seen many people getting a 3 year contract without having a clue of what they had to do, just buzz words. Public sector
- Spooky23 4y ago
  People who describe themselves as super honest usually are self-deprecating. They tend to under value their knowledge and experience. The reality is, 95% of scenarios don’t require what is asked for, and stating your capabilities in the most generous way is the optimal decision. Just back it up with work.
  - mettamage 4y ago
    Underrated comment :) Upvoted and favorited.
  - dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
    This is another example I'd use of a bluff: basically saying that you can do a job even though you've never done it before. If you're good and confident in your abilities, it all works out in the end. Everyone wants ridiculous experience but at the end of the day they're just trying to make sure you can do the job.
- quadcore 4y ago
  he's bluffin
- fer 4y ago
  Not OP either. Here there aren't turnstiles to access the commuting train, but there are controllers on board from time to time. With seldom use, it's just better not to buy a ticket (read: to bluff). Numbers made up and simplified but in the same ballpark: Round-trip ticket across town: 10€ Monthly pass: 50€ Fine: 70€ The chance to be controlled is roughly 1 in 10 for a round-trip. So if one did 5 round-trips in a month, on average one would pay 70 x 5 x 0.1 = 35€. Which is a good price with acceptable variance fur such usage. When caught just pay without fuss. At some point (between 7 and 8 round-trips) it's more cost effective to just buy the monthly pass, as the average cost of not buying approaches/goes over such threshold.
- short_sells_poo 4y ago
  It's the oldest trick in the book. As much as "fake it till you make it" is a much hated approach, there's a grain of truth to it. Many people only got the chance to prove their merit by bluffing (faking?) it first. Sure, they had to ultimately deliver on the expectations, and perhaps there are more of those who faked it and then failed to deliver. It doesn't change the fact that often you don't even get the chance if you don't project an aura of confidence. Generally speaking, being confident gets you to places. This really applies to every aspect of life. If you act like you belong somewhere and that there can be no questions about you belonging there, people in general will not question your presence. If you seem lost, or confused people will be curious why. Walk into a private event acting like you belong, and there are good chances nobody will realize you shouldn't be there. Walk around looking all confused and you are likely to be asked to validate your presence. Naturally, this doesn't apply only to places, but also groups, communities, companies...
- dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
  The first thing that comes to mind is bargaining. I always claim I have a better choice elsewhere and that I need a discount to close the deal. So I was renting a flat in SF in 2010 and claimed I had a better offer elsewhere and got 5% off in order to take their flat instead.
adwi 4y ago
Yes, lying is often convenient.
elliekelly 4y ago
I think people who tend to “bluff” often also tend to seriously underestimate how often they’re “caught”. Just because no one has called you on your bluff to your face doesn’t mean you haven’t been caught.
- jhugo 4y ago
  Does it matter?
- muh_gradle 4y ago
  Bluffing in poker doesn't mean something silly like going all in with 72o. It can be something like playing a relatively weaker hand more strongly because you've evaluated the range of hands that your opponent can have and the range of hands that you could have. Likewise, in real life, bluffing doesn't have to mean outrageous lies.
- dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
  So in a requested example below I give "I was renting a flat in SF in 2010 and claimed I had a better offer elsewhere and got 5% off in order to take their flat instead." How do I get caught? If they say no I get up, pause then change my mind. I've never suffered from being caught by a bluff, but I structure them sensibly.
  - tokamak-teapot 4y ago
    Everyone else who rented a flat negotiated 10% off. Your landlord guessed you were lying so altered subsequent planned rent increases to more than make up the difference - because they don’t like you. It surprises and slightly delights me to see how often people who try to ‘game’ others, queue jumpers, and others who display selfish behaviour are then given special (negative) treatment from those who notice their behaviour. Some seem to go around thinking that people are awful, but really people are just awful to _them_. People are generally kind and help each other.
baobabKoodaa 4y ago
> I've found that frequently bluffing in life pays off. Other life pro tips: - Stealing is a way to get money - Murder may be useful - Fraud is profitable
- dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
  None of those are bluffs, or even close. A bluff, in this context, is claiming or insinuating you're in a better position that you really are.
  - baobabKoodaa 4y ago
    Whatever helps you sleep at night.
alasdair_ 4y ago
The main problem that I have with lying regularly is that in order to lie effectively, you need to somewhat believe your own lies. Eventually, you really do believe the lies you tell and then your ability to see the world for what it is is diminished. Additionally, when dealing with other people, we tend to fill in the blanks about the things we don’t know about them using information we have picked up from other people as a template. We know ourselves better than any other person, so we often use our own motivations as a stand in for the motivations of others. If we are liars ourselves, we assume other people are liars too, by default (and, due to confirmation bias, once we look for evidence of this, we find it everywhere). This mindset means we end up trusting people less than is probably optimal, but we are unaware of this fact.
- dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
  Bluffing is indeed lying, but in a fairly innocuous way. Say you're a physical coward and you're being picked on for a fight by someone. You can puff your chest up, put your shoulders back and put a sneer on your face, possibly scaring the bully off. Yes you're misrepresenting yourself. You're lying. But how exactly is that corrosive to your character?

mettamage 4y ago

Could you give an example of this?

permalac 4y ago
Not OP. I've seen many people getting a 3 year contract without having a clue of what they had to do, just buzz words. Public sector
Spooky23 4y ago
People who describe themselves as super honest usually are self-deprecating. They tend to under value their knowledge and experience. The reality is, 95% of scenarios don’t require what is asked for, and stating your capabilities in the most generous way is the optimal decision. Just back it up with work.
- mettamage 4y ago
  Underrated comment :) Upvoted and favorited.
- dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
  This is another example I'd use of a bluff: basically saying that you can do a job even though you've never done it before. If you're good and confident in your abilities, it all works out in the end. Everyone wants ridiculous experience but at the end of the day they're just trying to make sure you can do the job.
quadcore 4y ago
he's bluffin
fer 4y ago
Not OP either. Here there aren't turnstiles to access the commuting train, but there are controllers on board from time to time. With seldom use, it's just better not to buy a ticket (read: to bluff). Numbers made up and simplified but in the same ballpark: Round-trip ticket across town: 10€ Monthly pass: 50€ Fine: 70€ The chance to be controlled is roughly 1 in 10 for a round-trip. So if one did 5 round-trips in a month, on average one would pay 70 x 5 x 0.1 = 35€. Which is a good price with acceptable variance fur such usage. When caught just pay without fuss. At some point (between 7 and 8 round-trips) it's more cost effective to just buy the monthly pass, as the average cost of not buying approaches/goes over such threshold.
short_sells_poo 4y ago
It's the oldest trick in the book. As much as "fake it till you make it" is a much hated approach, there's a grain of truth to it. Many people only got the chance to prove their merit by bluffing (faking?) it first. Sure, they had to ultimately deliver on the expectations, and perhaps there are more of those who faked it and then failed to deliver. It doesn't change the fact that often you don't even get the chance if you don't project an aura of confidence. Generally speaking, being confident gets you to places. This really applies to every aspect of life. If you act like you belong somewhere and that there can be no questions about you belonging there, people in general will not question your presence. If you seem lost, or confused people will be curious why. Walk into a private event acting like you belong, and there are good chances nobody will realize you shouldn't be there. Walk around looking all confused and you are likely to be asked to validate your presence. Naturally, this doesn't apply only to places, but also groups, communities, companies...
dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
The first thing that comes to mind is bargaining. I always claim I have a better choice elsewhere and that I need a discount to close the deal. So I was renting a flat in SF in 2010 and claimed I had a better offer elsewhere and got 5% off in order to take their flat instead.

adwi 4y ago

Yes, lying is often convenient.

elliekelly 4y ago

I think people who tend to “bluff” often also tend to seriously underestimate how often they’re “caught”. Just because no one has called you on your bluff to your face doesn’t mean you haven’t been caught.

jhugo 4y ago
Does it matter?
muh_gradle 4y ago
Bluffing in poker doesn't mean something silly like going all in with 72o. It can be something like playing a relatively weaker hand more strongly because you've evaluated the range of hands that your opponent can have and the range of hands that you could have. Likewise, in real life, bluffing doesn't have to mean outrageous lies.
dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
So in a requested example below I give "I was renting a flat in SF in 2010 and claimed I had a better offer elsewhere and got 5% off in order to take their flat instead." How do I get caught? If they say no I get up, pause then change my mind. I've never suffered from being caught by a bluff, but I structure them sensibly.
- tokamak-teapot 4y ago
  Everyone else who rented a flat negotiated 10% off. Your landlord guessed you were lying so altered subsequent planned rent increases to more than make up the difference - because they don’t like you. It surprises and slightly delights me to see how often people who try to ‘game’ others, queue jumpers, and others who display selfish behaviour are then given special (negative) treatment from those who notice their behaviour. Some seem to go around thinking that people are awful, but really people are just awful to _them_. People are generally kind and help each other.

baobabKoodaa 4y ago

> I've found that frequently bluffing in life pays off. Other life pro tips: - Stealing is a way to get money - Murder may be useful - Fraud is profitable

dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
None of those are bluffs, or even close. A bluff, in this context, is claiming or insinuating you're in a better position that you really are.
- baobabKoodaa 4y ago
  Whatever helps you sleep at night.

alasdair_ 4y ago

The main problem that I have with lying regularly is that in order to lie effectively, you need to somewhat believe your own lies. Eventually, you really do believe the lies you tell and then your ability to see the world for what it is is diminished. Additionally, when dealing with other people, we tend to fill in the blanks about the things we don’t know about them using information we have picked up from other people as a template. We know ourselves better than any other person, so we often use our own motivations as a stand in for the motivations of others. If we are liars ourselves, we assume other people are liars too, by default (and, due to confirmation bias, once we look for evidence of this, we find it everywhere). This mindset means we end up trusting people less than is probably optimal, but we are unaware of this fact.

dkjaudyeqooe 4y ago
Bluffing is indeed lying, but in a fairly innocuous way. Say you're a physical coward and you're being picked on for a fight by someone. You can puff your chest up, put your shoulders back and put a sneer on your face, possibly scaring the bully off. Yes you're misrepresenting yourself. You're lying. But how exactly is that corrosive to your character?