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Yeah, I would never add presence to a chat app. I hate, hate, hate it. I started using Discord a few years ago and accumulated friends with whom I regularly c

Yeah, I would never add presence to a chat app. I hate, hate, hate it. I started using Discord a few years ago and accumulated friends with whom I regularly chat. If I leave Discord off, they're like "oh you haven't been online in such a long time, I thought you were dead". Or if I chat while I have the thing set to idle they're like "oh lying about your idle status because I'm annoying you" and things like that. It is such a chore to maintain people's expectations. I wish they never added this feature to the app, because my friends will guilt me into turning it back on if I turn it off. Slack is similarly bad. Like if someone wants to step out of work to go for a walk in the middle of the day, I don't need to know about it. It's none of my business. They can reply to my messages when they have time.

radarsat1 4y ago
> my friends will guilt me into turning it back on if I turn it off. like many things in life, the solution here is simply to be assertive. Easier said than done, I know, but if you can convince yourself to just say, "sorry, can't do" you'll be happier in the end.
Mandatum 4y ago
The solution here is to login, set yourself to away/invisible and never make it active. The activity sign is useful for most people.
Dylan16807 4y ago
> Or if I chat while I have the thing set to idle they're like "oh lying about your idle status because I'm annoying you" and things like that. Surely at some point they'll notice you've been on idle or do not disturb for 90 days straight?
BeFlatXIII 4y ago
It sounds like you may want to search for lower-maintenance friends.
- lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 4y ago
  This is the social equivalent of "rewriting from scratch" and many people are (rightly) averse to it. I think at least an attempt to explain one's expectations to one's friends would be warranted before plainly starting over with a new social group.

radarsat1 4y ago

> my friends will guilt me into turning it back on if I turn it off. like many things in life, the solution here is simply to be assertive. Easier said than done, I know, but if you can convince yourself to just say, "sorry, can't do" you'll be happier in the end.

Mandatum 4y ago

The solution here is to login, set yourself to away/invisible and never make it active. The activity sign is useful for most people.

Dylan16807 4y ago

> Or if I chat while I have the thing set to idle they're like "oh lying about your idle status because I'm annoying you" and things like that. Surely at some point they'll notice you've been on idle or do not disturb for 90 days straight?

BeFlatXIII 4y ago

It sounds like you may want to search for lower-maintenance friends.

lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 4y ago
This is the social equivalent of "rewriting from scratch" and many people are (rightly) averse to it. I think at least an attempt to explain one's expectations to one's friends would be warranted before plainly starting over with a new social group.