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1) We decided for highschool for the first phone. Some parents give smart watches so the kids are contactable but don't have a big screen. 2) I have the Google
by Gustomaximus 4y ago
1) We decided for highschool for the first phone. Some parents give smart watches so the kids are contactable but don't have a big screen.
2) I have the Google controls. That said, its as you say kids can circumvent controls so the best thing you can do is have this conversation.
We've spoken a buch of times with the kids about how other kids will look at gore/porn out of interest/shock value but they should choose not to as its not healthy etc. And other things like staying private online, predators, come to us if they are getting bullied or do something wrong like share an embarrasing picture and its getting used against them etc.
Ultimately this one its about having a good/trusting parent child relationship I feel than via digital restrictions.
3) From the Google controls we have time restriction, both time of day and total hours.
The other thing I feel is important 1) is making sure you do things with kids. It's easy to get tired as a parent and let them entertain themself but playing board games and sports etc is so important. Making sure you have quality time beyond screens makes it a smaller part of their life. And 2) Encourage the right friendships. Put the effort to organise events with kids/families with good values as the group surrounding them will have a big impact.
- drewnick 4y agoThis is excellent advice, and points out how difficult parenting actually is. None of what you mention is easy, or path of least resistence. Especially waiting for highschool for the phone. We did sixth grade and we regret it now that our middle schooler is mildly addicted. We are spending this summer working on that.
- falcolas 4y agoI think it's fair to postulate that a high schooler will have the opportunity to become just as addicted. I'd even postulate that one cause will be the lack of experience self-regulating the use of a cellphone. And let's not forget the bullying and peer pressure a child who does not have a cell phone will endure. I saw this happen with a niece I tutor first hand, sadly. Not to mention that a good portion of her assignments come via the web or an app these days - which is super frustrating for me.
- jerrya 4y agosingle parents, parents working odd hours, divorced parents - they often must give phones to their kids at earlier ages are you certain your kids ~~are not sneaking a flashlight under their blankets to read books until dawn~~ do not have a secondary phone to scroll tiktok until dawn, are not learning from friends about vpns, are not browsing porn when your kids go to school or are away from home can you be certain they are not circumventing all those things you have had the talk about?
- ipaddr 4y agoWhy must single parents give phones let alone afford a phone?
- Dylan16807 4y agoIt's a lot more effort to get a secondary phone than a flashlight. Looking at some things at a friend's house is much less impactful than an everyday half-unlimited supply.
- bcrosby95 4y agoI generally agree. However: > Ultimately this one its about having a good/trusting parent child relationship I feel than via digital restrictions. Your children still need someone you trust for when they don't want to go to you. Your friend, your sister, someone. Because regardless of how good of a parent you are, there will be times they don't want to go to you.
- tintor 4y agoSmartwatch seems like a good idea.