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Do not try to fight loneliness. It is a natural part of life, like thunderstorms. You can try to tease it apart, understand how it works, where it comes from, t
by throwaway892238 4y ago
Do not try to fight loneliness. It is a natural part of life, like thunderstorms. You can try to tease it apart, understand how it works, where it comes from, try to predict it, come up with coping mechanisms. But the storms still come regardless. They are here for a reason, with their appropriate place in a natural system. But we don't need to understand the reason to accept it. Acknowledge the feeling, sit with it for a little while. Eventually the weather will change. Learn to enjoy these changes in the weather; each has its ups and downs and is interesting in its own way.
- true_religion 4y agoCan you please help me differentiate between coping and fighting a condition?
- pfortuny 4y agoWhen you fight something it means you try to eliminate it. Coping means accepting its existence and being peaceful about it. However, you CAN fight and cope, and you can fight and not cope. The aim should not be the elimination, the aim should be inner peace. That is why I despise the setting of “overcoming cancer” as a fight and presenting survivors as “fighters”. What do I care? I prefer peace to health. Because I only want to be healthy as a means for “easier” peace.
- eska 4y agoIsn’t coping associated with denial? An IMO better term is acceptance (of things that are outside one’s control).
- throwaway892238 4y agoDenial is one of hundreds of different coping strategies. They're just tools people use to deal with unwanted emotions or behaviors.
- saltcured 4y agoI don't know how much these terms vary by locale or specialty, but within behavioral medicine in the US, coping is ambivalent and a normal part of nearly any condition. A lack of coping would be unambiguously bad, but here can be both good and bad coping mechanisms in a qualitative sense. Coping skills are taught to help people restore balance to their lives if they have reached a point of having a clinical disorder, i.e. where the condition has negatively affected their ability to live and function. A good coping mechanism mitigates the disorder, while a bad coping mechanism may add another layer of dysfunction instead. A meta-level skill is to become more aware of these differences to self-adjust towards more beneficial outcomes.
- amelius 4y agoUnless you suffer from avoiding personality disorder, in which case the weather might never change.
- _xrp0 4y agoDisagree. I was lonely in my teens, but ever since I met my wife I haven't been lonely. Ever. Married for 10 years now.
- baby 4y agoDisagree. You can feel lonely and be married. You can feel lonely in a happy marriage. I personally feel it if I don’t have a big group of friends.