It's true that punishment as in: "I am going to do unpleasant things to you because you misbehaved" isn't very effective. What works is enforcing consequences o

It's true that punishment as in: "I am going to do unpleasant things to you because you misbehaved" isn't very effective. What works is enforcing consequences of actions: "the rules of this trip are such, it's ok if you ignore them but then you will not be part of it anymore" or "playing time comes after cleaning up after dinner, if you choose not to clean up no one is going to play with you". As long as the rules are clear, make sense and others follow them they work. Another thing that works is making the child aware that their behaviour hurts you. "What you do makes me sad/tired/feel/makes my work harder". You are not angry, just making them aware how their actions affect others. Needless to say you should never ever give in to a tantrum. Giving in to tantrums is not part of the structure everyone abides by. Source: my gf works with children, often with disabilities and is a psychologist interested in behavioral science. Children actually like you more if you're someone enforcing the rules and structure than a pushover who will do as they please if the tantrum is long and loud enough.