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> Los Angeles [...] people cancelled plans on me all the time Traffic. It's because of traffic and sprawl. LA is massive[1]. If you lived in Manhattan and mad

> Los Angeles [...] people cancelled plans on me all the time Traffic. It's because of traffic and sprawl. LA is massive[1]. If you lived in Manhattan and made plans with people living in Queens or Brooklyn or East Rutherford, you would expect them to flake just as much as people living in LA. If I only make plans with people in Santa Monica and I live in Santa Monica, they will probably show up. The reality is that in LA you do not have subways that go everywhere. You also do not walk. So you interact with people that mostly got to that location via freeway and probably live at least 30 minutes away. Plans sound nice and people like to be agreeable, so they will say "sure, I might make it." And usually you do not get a strong yes. It's always a maybe. Because when the event rolls around, you're stuck deciding whether you feel like getting into the car and driving a good hour in heavy traffic or not. It's not because people are dicks, like everyone is claiming. It's because the city wears on you. Distance is measured in time, not miles in LA. Also, parking. If you live in WeHo, KTown, DTLA, or Santa Monica and you're asking people to find parking, be prepared for lots of canceled plans. No one likes circling the streets for 20 minutes to find parking. [1] https://www.welikela.com/how-big-is-los-angeles/ https://www.welikela.com/how-big-is-los-angeles/

antihero 5y ago
Kind of incredible how deeply having good public transport can transform culture.
Aeolun 5y ago
> so they will say "sure, I might make it." I really don’t see why you would do that if you already know it’s an hour’s drive away, and you think that’s too much. Saying yes in that situation sets you both up for disappointment.
rkangel 5y ago
> LA is massive[1]. If you lived in Manhattan and made plans with people living in Queens or Brooklyn or East Rutherford, you would expect them to flake just as much as people living in LA. If I only make plans with people in Santa Monica and I live in Santa Monica, they will probably show up. Why does logistics make your attendance unreliable? I live in Cambridge (UK) and regularly have social things in London. The transport usually goes: cycle to station (20 minutes), train to London (1 hour), Underground to destination (10-40 minutes). I know that's the transport when I agree to do something - if I don't want to do it, don't accept the invitation. If I change my mind in the intervening period then that's me being shitty for not thinking it through in the first place or for not bothering to put in the effort. If anything the longer the transport the less likely I would be to flake due to the larger mental commitment I've made.

antihero 5y ago

Kind of incredible how deeply having good public transport can transform culture.

Aeolun 5y ago

> so they will say "sure, I might make it." I really don’t see why you would do that if you already know it’s an hour’s drive away, and you think that’s too much. Saying yes in that situation sets you both up for disappointment.

rkangel 5y ago

> LA is massive[1]. If you lived in Manhattan and made plans with people living in Queens or Brooklyn or East Rutherford, you would expect them to flake just as much as people living in LA. If I only make plans with people in Santa Monica and I live in Santa Monica, they will probably show up. Why does logistics make your attendance unreliable? I live in Cambridge (UK) and regularly have social things in London. The transport usually goes: cycle to station (20 minutes), train to London (1 hour), Underground to destination (10-40 minutes). I know that's the transport when I agree to do something - if I don't want to do it, don't accept the invitation. If I change my mind in the intervening period then that's me being shitty for not thinking it through in the first place or for not bothering to put in the effort. If anything the longer the transport the less likely I would be to flake due to the larger mental commitment I've made.