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Do you want a happy life, or a worthwhile life? I think they're probably correlated, but I don't think you can guarantee one without risking the other. In that

Do you want a happy life, or a worthwhile life? I think they're probably correlated, but I don't think you can guarantee one without risking the other. In that light, optimizing for happiness seems like the wrong move.

throwawayboise 5y ago
How do you define worthwhile?
- qgin 5y ago
  When you feel like whatever difficulties or pain you face are worth it. For example, if you work hard every day at something that reduces the suffering of others, it can be worthwhile, even if in the moment it’s painful.
eggsmediumrare 5y ago
What is worthwhile if not happiness?
- MerelyMortal 5y ago
  People can define what is worthwhile to them, such as helping others at their own expense. Perhaps one could argue that is what makes them "happy" and thus achieve "happiness" even though they might be suffering.
  - chii 5y ago
    Someone who pours their resources at helping others get happiness, but never achieving his own, will eventually turn cynical imho.
qwerpy 5y ago
The wrong move for people who want a worthwhile life, maybe. I’m not convinced that I, and perhaps a significant fraction of humanity, would choose a worthwhile life if we could only pick one to optimize for.
nicklaf 5y ago
Long-term happiness could mean deferring gratification. Caveat emptor: trying to then execute long term plans to achieve that deferred gratification but which go awry in the intervening time can start to turn a gambit into pure misery. From personal experience, I'd suggest building redundancy in the form of things like savings and relationships, before letting an inclination for ambition risk leading you to build long and brittle pipelines which fall apart as soon as unexpected hardship strikes. It's a cliche, but a lot of the unstated reasons we were happy at one time were there all along, until they start to slip away (social connections, health, etc.)--usually without realizing the extent this has happened until years later. As a rule of thumb, I'd suggest that the most important thing to nurture over the years are your friendships and social connections (even if that means just a chat message every few days to a close friend from college who moved to another city), which are probably your best shot at adapting your new life situation to feel more at home with happier moments in the past, but which also look forward to the future (after all, friendships are more than just shared memories--they're comprised of living, breathing people, and as such can lead to new experiences and connections that lead to even better things than just holding onto what once was). Finally, if you really think about it, maybe the easiest way to be happy is really the satisfaction you get knowing you've brought genuine happiness to someone else. :-)

throwawayboise 5y ago

How do you define worthwhile?

qgin 5y ago
When you feel like whatever difficulties or pain you face are worth it. For example, if you work hard every day at something that reduces the suffering of others, it can be worthwhile, even if in the moment it’s painful.

eggsmediumrare 5y ago

What is worthwhile if not happiness?

MerelyMortal 5y ago
People can define what is worthwhile to them, such as helping others at their own expense. Perhaps one could argue that is what makes them "happy" and thus achieve "happiness" even though they might be suffering.
- chii 5y ago
  Someone who pours their resources at helping others get happiness, but never achieving his own, will eventually turn cynical imho.

qwerpy 5y ago

The wrong move for people who want a worthwhile life, maybe. I’m not convinced that I, and perhaps a significant fraction of humanity, would choose a worthwhile life if we could only pick one to optimize for.

nicklaf 5y ago

Long-term happiness could mean deferring gratification. Caveat emptor: trying to then execute long term plans to achieve that deferred gratification but which go awry in the intervening time can start to turn a gambit into pure misery. From personal experience, I'd suggest building redundancy in the form of things like savings and relationships, before letting an inclination for ambition risk leading you to build long and brittle pipelines which fall apart as soon as unexpected hardship strikes. It's a cliche, but a lot of the unstated reasons we were happy at one time were there all along, until they start to slip away (social connections, health, etc.)--usually without realizing the extent this has happened until years later. As a rule of thumb, I'd suggest that the most important thing to nurture over the years are your friendships and social connections (even if that means just a chat message every few days to a close friend from college who moved to another city), which are probably your best shot at adapting your new life situation to feel more at home with happier moments in the past, but which also look forward to the future (after all, friendships are more than just shared memories--they're comprised of living, breathing people, and as such can lead to new experiences and connections that lead to even better things than just holding onto what once was). Finally, if you really think about it, maybe the easiest way to be happy is really the satisfaction you get knowing you've brought genuine happiness to someone else. :-)