4 ms·

It’s actually quite easy: simply lower your expectations until your life is better than you expected. Sounds like a joke. But is it really?

bigDinosaur 5y ago
Yes, that does sound like a joke.
- chii 5y ago
  it sounds like a joke because people who cannot lower their expectations don't believe those who did and their new found happiness must be a lie. I guess it really is dependent on personality, upbringing and other nurture of the person.
  - JetAlone 5y ago
    There's a point past which it falls apart. I can just lower my expectations to the point that I don't expect my basic human such as food etc. to be met and be happy? Really? The only way I have seen where this actually succeeds involves believing there is something better than this existence, available on the other side through the deprivation. And at that point, arguably, there is not a lowered expectation, but rather a new, heightened one.
MerelyMortal 5y ago
That's a little-bit of what I've done. Maybe put in another way: I've become more adaptable.
paulpauper 5y ago
sounds easier said than done. i like having things go my way
nicklaf 5y ago
So basically, maximal happiness then is no different than TCP throughput.
- YZF 5y ago
  heh. congestion control. Which algorithm for "happiness control"? CUBIC? Reno?
  - nicklaf 5y ago
    Haha, I was only aware of the basic idea. I had no idea there's so much work coming up with more optimal algorithms, but I guess it makes sense considering. It would be amusing if the extra details didn't break down the analogy....
marttt 5y ago
Make do with as little as you can in every aspect of life without torturing yourself. IMO this also counts for creative ambitions: there are writers who propose to postpone writing for as long as you can. Healthy long-term relationships, on the other side, seem to require a fair amount of luck, though.
gundmc 5y ago
On one level, this has an appealing certain kind of logic. But in practice I've found this leads to depression and cynicism.
- v-erne 5y ago
  Cynicism or realizm? Sometimes its really hard to tell because the people that call You cynic are often lost in their idealizm. And I believe that depression in this situation means that You are simply still expecting too much.
- mbrodersen 5y ago
  Not my experience at all. It leads to joy and happiness when things go better than I expected. Also, I never stop working on improving things. There is always a chance that things are actually better than I expect.
helpfulmandrill 5y ago
That's simple, not easy.
madaxe_again 5y ago
Happiness is a marketing term. It isn’t a real thing, it’s an aspirational state which we are told we can attain through a lifetime of hard work, through buying things, through reading this book, with this one simple trick, click to read more. As long as you seek happiness, you will never, ever find contentment, as you will forever be chasing the tail of a dragon. For me, I just one day gave up on the idea that I could ever be happy. I had a long, dark teatime of the soul, but came out of it absolutely content with my lot. Completely changed my life and how I live, and while I wouldn’t say I live in some kind of state of exuberant ecstasy day to day, I am content, and am no longer burdened by the quest for a reified concept.
- psychoslave 5y ago
  >Happiness is a marketing term. You can apply marketing methodologies on basically anything and "flood market with it" to the point where it is depleted of any positive impact it might have when used properly. If you look at people who are flagged as "happiest man in the world", people like Matthieu Ricard[1], you will be very far from the image of someone that reached "some kind of state of exuberant ecstasy day to day". [1] https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/medias/matthieu-ricard-why-are-you-called-the-happiest-man-in-the-world-1-of-5 https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/medias/matthieu-ricard-why...
archevel 5y ago
I agree, but I think you need hope in order to be happy. I.e. happiness is the combination of high hopes and low expectations. Without high hopes you could just be anticipating things to get worse which tends to lead to anxiety and just a general glum outlook on life. Hoping things will be better tomorrow, but expecting things to get worse is a subtle but important mindset shift.
- wantlotsofcurry 5y ago
  As my mom says: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
hansor 5y ago
That's the way towards homelessness.

bigDinosaur 5y ago

Yes, that does sound like a joke.

chii 5y ago
it sounds like a joke because people who cannot lower their expectations don't believe those who did and their new found happiness must be a lie. I guess it really is dependent on personality, upbringing and other nurture of the person.
- JetAlone 5y ago
  There's a point past which it falls apart. I can just lower my expectations to the point that I don't expect my basic human such as food etc. to be met and be happy? Really? The only way I have seen where this actually succeeds involves believing there is something better than this existence, available on the other side through the deprivation. And at that point, arguably, there is not a lowered expectation, but rather a new, heightened one.

MerelyMortal 5y ago

That's a little-bit of what I've done. Maybe put in another way: I've become more adaptable.

paulpauper 5y ago

sounds easier said than done. i like having things go my way

nicklaf 5y ago

So basically, maximal happiness then is no different than TCP throughput.

YZF 5y ago
heh. congestion control. Which algorithm for "happiness control"? CUBIC? Reno?
- nicklaf 5y ago
  Haha, I was only aware of the basic idea. I had no idea there's so much work coming up with more optimal algorithms, but I guess it makes sense considering. It would be amusing if the extra details didn't break down the analogy....

marttt 5y ago

Make do with as little as you can in every aspect of life without torturing yourself. IMO this also counts for creative ambitions: there are writers who propose to postpone writing for as long as you can. Healthy long-term relationships, on the other side, seem to require a fair amount of luck, though.

gundmc 5y ago

On one level, this has an appealing certain kind of logic. But in practice I've found this leads to depression and cynicism.

v-erne 5y ago
Cynicism or realizm? Sometimes its really hard to tell because the people that call You cynic are often lost in their idealizm. And I believe that depression in this situation means that You are simply still expecting too much.
mbrodersen 5y ago
Not my experience at all. It leads to joy and happiness when things go better than I expected. Also, I never stop working on improving things. There is always a chance that things are actually better than I expect.

helpfulmandrill 5y ago

That's simple, not easy.

madaxe_again 5y ago

Happiness is a marketing term. It isn’t a real thing, it’s an aspirational state which we are told we can attain through a lifetime of hard work, through buying things, through reading this book, with this one simple trick, click to read more. As long as you seek happiness, you will never, ever find contentment, as you will forever be chasing the tail of a dragon. For me, I just one day gave up on the idea that I could ever be happy. I had a long, dark teatime of the soul, but came out of it absolutely content with my lot. Completely changed my life and how I live, and while I wouldn’t say I live in some kind of state of exuberant ecstasy day to day, I am content, and am no longer burdened by the quest for a reified concept.

psychoslave 5y ago
>Happiness is a marketing term. You can apply marketing methodologies on basically anything and "flood market with it" to the point where it is depleted of any positive impact it might have when used properly. If you look at people who are flagged as "happiest man in the world", people like Matthieu Ricard[1], you will be very far from the image of someone that reached "some kind of state of exuberant ecstasy day to day". [1] https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/medias/matthieu-ricard-why-are-you-called-the-happiest-man-in-the-world-1-of-5 https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/medias/matthieu-ricard-why...

archevel 5y ago

I agree, but I think you need hope in order to be happy. I.e. happiness is the combination of high hopes and low expectations. Without high hopes you could just be anticipating things to get worse which tends to lead to anxiety and just a general glum outlook on life. Hoping things will be better tomorrow, but expecting things to get worse is a subtle but important mindset shift.

wantlotsofcurry 5y ago
As my mom says: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

hansor 5y ago

That's the way towards homelessness.