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Does anyone have tips on getting an adult partner to do the same?
by vasco 5y ago
Does anyone have tips on getting an adult partner to do the same?
- hackernewds 5y agoIt's impossible
- amelius 5y agoOr apply this to self?
- ordu 5y agoRead Skinner. Conditioning can do wonders. You can train people like you train dogs, though there is a catch: people must not notice that they are being trained. From ethics standpoint it is an arguable approach, so you need to think before choosing this path. I believe that something can be done about people not noticing the training, if you manage to frame this training in a manner that doesn't reject their illusion of a free will. But I'm not sure, because never tried. Though when you openly thank people for their help, it is a kind of reinforcement, and therefore conditioning. But it works worse then when reinforcement sneaks in without consciousness noticing it.
- NhanH 5y agoThat's literally a plot line for an episode in Big Bang Theory, turn out Sheldon has good social skill after all. Life is arts huh.
- Bancakes 5y agoI find this very manipulative. You change the world to fit a person, who ends up consuming his circumstances. The whole point of growing as a personality is wanting to grow and learn. People should know what their issues and blockades are, and put effort into it, so that they may teach others their findings and methods.
- ordu 5y agoYes, it is very manipulative. It is the ethics issue I mentioned above. It can change your attitude to your partner in bad ways. It will lead to a disaster if your partner find out about the manipulation. > The whole point of growing as a personality is wanting to grow and learn. No it is not the whole point. I don't want to make all the chores myself also. I don't want to fight over chores, to make my partner to do some of them. Though I agree, it would be nice to find such a way, that doesn't have the ethics issues, and moreover not just train a partner to do chores, but makes him a better personality.
- Tade0 5y agoI believe functioning adults naturally do chores provided they get to choose what, when and most importantly how. Most of the conflicts I had with my SO regarding chores were about the way things should be done not if. Also it helps to assign responsibility - I have a friend who went as far as starting a family JIRA instance(it's frer for teams of up to 10). It's likely that it saved his marriage.
- imgabe 5y agoHire a cleaning service
- csw-001 5y agoMy spouse is into having things very, very clean (from my perspective, at least). When we moved in together (over a decade ago) we negotiated household duties - basically wrote them all out and ranked them by how much we hated doing them, then optimized the division of labor to achieve least total pain… Here’s the thing - in that process we found fundamental disagreements on what’s important to clean up in the first place. Life’s too short to make beds… Rooms have doors for a reason… listing out what we each expected really helped launch a conversation about compromise about doing things at all, as much as it did who would do things. I’m a lot cleaner now because I know exactly what she wants, and she’s a lot more flexible and accepting of my messes because she knows it’s not my default and I’m trying for her.
- mamcx 5y agoA simple one: Instead of everyone do a little of everything every day: I do all food and cleansing today, and you tomorrow. The "day off" (days off if wanna doit in blocks) is the reward!