9 ms·

> Why this anger towards the author for doing what he considers to be the best thing for himself? Because most of us don't have the luxury to take a break from

> Why this anger towards the author for doing what he considers to be the best thing for himself? Because most of us don't have the luxury to take a break from work. Honestly, I feel jealousy towards people who can take a break from work. I've been feeling like I'm on a treadmill since my teen years. I am not ashamed of it, though - jealousy is a human feeling and we can't wish it away, we can only control it and not let it interfere with our lives.

MrDresden 5y ago
I’ll admit I just now realise that the author seems to have shared the post here themselves. That does put it into a slightly different light.
- awill88 5y ago
DocTomoe 5y ago
> Because most of us don't have the luxury to take a break from work. If you ask the 5 whys, you'll see that you actually can take a break from work, you are just unwilling to deal with a (potentially rapid) change in lifestyle. I know enough IT people who at age 40 decided to become potters, or motorcycle repair folks, or blacksmiths. They immediately stopped earning six figures. They live in metropolitan areas no longer. But they all seem to be a lot happier now. No one is going to applaud you for your money high score when you leave that body of yours. Life is about enjoying the dance, not racing to the end.
- paskozdilar 5y ago
  > you actually can take a break from work, you are just unwilling to deal with a (potentially rapid) change in lifestyle. A "change in lifestyle" can also mean becoming homeless and dying of starvation. In that case, true, I am quite unwilling to deal with such a change.
  - nebulous_two 5y ago
    This is some fatalistic nonsense. There is a long way to go for an IT person to die of starvation. It would have to be intentional: wanting to die of starvation.
    - paskozdilar 5y ago
      I don't understand a single thing you're talking about. The path is very simple: don't work -> run out of money -> unable to afford food and rent -> work again / die of starvation Can you specify which part of the path is intentional? Why would anyone want to die of starvation?
      - s1artibartfast 5y ago
        If you are located in the US, anyone can get free food to avoid starvation. Food stamps and food banks are two of the most common options. >work again / die of starvation If you get to this step, the choice is yours. What do you estimate the chance of not being able to find work at? 1%,… 0.00001%?
        paskozdilar 5y ago
        The graph loops at "work again / die of starvation", which by definition means I cannot afford not to work. > What do you estimate the chance of not being able to find work at? How is that relevant? My point is that I cannot afford not to work.
        s1artibartfast 5y ago
        >My point is that I cannot afford not to work I think you are getting the skepticism from others because most of the time these limitations are artificial and self imposed. I certainly have felt that way when I was severely depressed and fed up with my job/life. I felt helpless and blamed my situation, when in reality I was simply refusing to take ownership of my choices. I could quit my job, I could leave my partner, I could abandon my kids and family. I could go sleep in a park, I could buy a van and travel the country. Why do you think you cannot afford to not work?
Aeolun 5y ago
You are welcome to feel jealous, but you don’t have to begrudge them taking that option.
- paskozdilar 5y ago
  I do not. In fact, I would do the same given the proper circumstances. The other person asked a question, and I gave my best approximation of an answer.
eezurr 5y ago
There's a term for that type of thinking: "crab mentality". It's named after the behavior of crabs when they are placed in a bucket. When a crab tries to escape, the other crabs notice and begin pulling the escaping crab back into the bucket. For us humans, when we manage to climb out of a bucket we land in a larger bucket that contains the one we climbed out of. Eventually we get our bearings and begin to see the new walls that surround us. Unhappy with the walls, we start climbing again. And so goes the story of Sysiphus. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus I think the solution is to be happy with what you have. Not an easy task though.
- PikachuEXE 5y ago
  Now I finally can refer it with a name "crab mentality" I only knew it as "fish ball mentality" (inaccurate translation from Cantonese)
  - eezurr 5y ago
    What's the story/logic behind "fish ball mentality"?
    - PikachuEXE 5y ago
      Oh it's from a local show (in Cantonese) which is ~2x years ago. Here is the approximate content. Supposed there is a merchant selling fish balls (in sticks). Then two people (A & B) buy one stick of fish balls. A gets a stick of 6 and B gets 5. B complains about it. Merchant says: OK I will give you back one more. B: No I don't want one more. I want you to take away one of A's fish balls. Since then all locals who watched the show would refer it as "fish ball mentality" and kept being used on local online forums/social media groups. "crab mentality" was never mentioned anywhere (for me at least, until I see it here).
      - eezurr 5y ago
        Ha, interesting. Thanks for sharing!
jxidjhdhdhdhfhf 5y ago
On the other hand, many of us do have such a luxury, especially on hackernews, but may be too afraid or too institutionalized to use it. It's nice to have people reminding us that we can make deliberate choices about our work life.

MrDresden 5y ago

I’ll admit I just now realise that the author seems to have shared the post here themselves. That does put it into a slightly different light.

awill88 5y ago

DocTomoe 5y ago

> Because most of us don't have the luxury to take a break from work. If you ask the 5 whys, you'll see that you actually can take a break from work, you are just unwilling to deal with a (potentially rapid) change in lifestyle. I know enough IT people who at age 40 decided to become potters, or motorcycle repair folks, or blacksmiths. They immediately stopped earning six figures. They live in metropolitan areas no longer. But they all seem to be a lot happier now. No one is going to applaud you for your money high score when you leave that body of yours. Life is about enjoying the dance, not racing to the end.

paskozdilar 5y ago
> you actually can take a break from work, you are just unwilling to deal with a (potentially rapid) change in lifestyle. A "change in lifestyle" can also mean becoming homeless and dying of starvation. In that case, true, I am quite unwilling to deal with such a change.
- nebulous_two 5y ago
  This is some fatalistic nonsense. There is a long way to go for an IT person to die of starvation. It would have to be intentional: wanting to die of starvation.
  - paskozdilar 5y ago
    I don't understand a single thing you're talking about. The path is very simple: don't work -> run out of money -> unable to afford food and rent -> work again / die of starvation Can you specify which part of the path is intentional? Why would anyone want to die of starvation?
    - s1artibartfast 5y ago
      If you are located in the US, anyone can get free food to avoid starvation. Food stamps and food banks are two of the most common options. >work again / die of starvation If you get to this step, the choice is yours. What do you estimate the chance of not being able to find work at? 1%,… 0.00001%?
      - paskozdilar 5y ago
        The graph loops at "work again / die of starvation", which by definition means I cannot afford not to work. > What do you estimate the chance of not being able to find work at? How is that relevant? My point is that I cannot afford not to work.
        s1artibartfast 5y ago
        >My point is that I cannot afford not to work I think you are getting the skepticism from others because most of the time these limitations are artificial and self imposed. I certainly have felt that way when I was severely depressed and fed up with my job/life. I felt helpless and blamed my situation, when in reality I was simply refusing to take ownership of my choices. I could quit my job, I could leave my partner, I could abandon my kids and family. I could go sleep in a park, I could buy a van and travel the country. Why do you think you cannot afford to not work?

Aeolun 5y ago

You are welcome to feel jealous, but you don’t have to begrudge them taking that option.

paskozdilar 5y ago
I do not. In fact, I would do the same given the proper circumstances. The other person asked a question, and I gave my best approximation of an answer.

eezurr 5y ago

There's a term for that type of thinking: "crab mentality". It's named after the behavior of crabs when they are placed in a bucket. When a crab tries to escape, the other crabs notice and begin pulling the escaping crab back into the bucket. For us humans, when we manage to climb out of a bucket we land in a larger bucket that contains the one we climbed out of. Eventually we get our bearings and begin to see the new walls that surround us. Unhappy with the walls, we start climbing again. And so goes the story of Sysiphus. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus I think the solution is to be happy with what you have. Not an easy task though.

PikachuEXE 5y ago
Now I finally can refer it with a name "crab mentality" I only knew it as "fish ball mentality" (inaccurate translation from Cantonese)
- eezurr 5y ago
  What's the story/logic behind "fish ball mentality"?
  - PikachuEXE 5y ago
    Oh it's from a local show (in Cantonese) which is ~2x years ago. Here is the approximate content. Supposed there is a merchant selling fish balls (in sticks). Then two people (A & B) buy one stick of fish balls. A gets a stick of 6 and B gets 5. B complains about it. Merchant says: OK I will give you back one more. B: No I don't want one more. I want you to take away one of A's fish balls. Since then all locals who watched the show would refer it as "fish ball mentality" and kept being used on local online forums/social media groups. "crab mentality" was never mentioned anywhere (for me at least, until I see it here).
    - eezurr 5y ago
      Ha, interesting. Thanks for sharing!

jxidjhdhdhdhfhf 5y ago

On the other hand, many of us do have such a luxury, especially on hackernews, but may be too afraid or too institutionalized to use it. It's nice to have people reminding us that we can make deliberate choices about our work life.