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I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of r

I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone) I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from most people I work with and also far from most people I communicate with socially online (such as family). I find this approach of "just send a question and they can answer asynchronously" to be one of the reasons that working from home can be damaging to mental health. Natural human interactions, where there can be a real time back and forth, are positive things. Not necessarily always, but especially if I haven't communicated with a person in weeks, I'd much prefer this sort of thing. If there is a specific topic I want to talk about, that can be expressed in a few words, sure, I'll say that. And if it really is just a simple question that can be answered directly, I'll just ask. But the point is that those are not always the case, and depending on the job each of us has and our relationship, it might be unlikely for that to be the case.

allknowingfrog 5y ago
This still seems like an example where you could directly state your request and avoid some unnecessary ceremony. When I want to have a synchronous conversation, I don't send "you there?", I send "Could you call me when you have a minute? I want to chat about <some topic>."
- robbrown451 5y ago
  Yeah, it depends on who I am talking to. If it is someone I am fairly friendly with, or family, I'm less likely to do that. If there is a single topic that is why I am reaching out, sure.
sfteus 5y ago
I've been working remote for ~7 years. The way I would handle this is simply saying something like "You available? Wanted to get a few minutes to discuss X/Y/Z" When you're attempting to set up synchronous communication, it's essential to let the other person know what the communication is about, and what level of focus you need from them, so they have time to prepare and ensure they have enough time for a proper dialogue. Can't count the number of times someone has said "you there?" while I'm in a meeting, which in my mind is "I'm available to answer simple questions" but not available to jump on a voice call, which is what they wanted originally.
ikornaselur 5y ago
I will usually fully ignore those. If someone wants to have a synchronous conversation, I want them to state that. Instead of saying "You there?" I would prefer "You have 5 minutes to discuss X?" or "Do you have a moment to hop on a call to chat about ?". That way I can make a decision on if I have time for it or not, instead of having to reply with "I'm here, what do you need?" only for it to end up being something that I didn't want to be disturbed for.
- robbrown451 5y ago
  "If someone wants to have a synchronous conversation, I want them to state that." The people that I would send a "you there?" message understand that my message is shorthand for that. They might respond with "in a meeting" or "gimme a few minutes" or if they are available for a synchronous conversation, "hey" or "what's up?" I have a couple contacts that are "on the spectrum" and I deal with them a little differently. They seem to need things spelled out a bit more explicitly. But those people tend to get left out of many discussions, and don't seem to do as well careerwise in the long term, because they don't really connect on a human level with people.
  - ghaff 5y ago
    Exactly. I won't send ping or hi to a random person over chat. Frankly, I'd be more likely to send them an email with details, requests, etc. However, there are people who I work closely with who understand that if I do some sort of "are you there?" it's because I want to have a fairly synchronous conversation over the phone or over chat.
Lio 5y ago
That would be fine but you could give some context with that initial approach so that the other person can decide if they can stop or not. i.e. "Are you busy? Could you help me with blah blah" If you're getting bombarded with "you there?" from 20 people because some service they use has gone and right now you're trying to fix it for them all, well that can be stressful too. If you just "Hi." with nothing else they might never know to get back to you on a completely different issue.
- robbrown451 5y ago
  "If you're getting bombarded with "you there?" from 20 people because some service they use has gone and right now you're trying to fix it for them all, well that can be stressful too." Well it depend one what your job is and what your relationship to that person is. I wouldn't send a "you there?" to someone in IT when I need something fixed. But I would to someone I've had an ongoing working relationship with and when we communicate, there is typically more that one single issue to discuss.
lwhi 5y ago
And some people will think you're rude as a result.
codazoda 5y ago
You should always try to give context. Examples... Are you available to answer some questions about Docker? Would you have time to help me with this nginx config? Do you have time for our 1-on-1? I try not to say "have a minute" because conversations rarely last a minute or two if we're going to do it voice. As a manager, I try really hard never to say, "Can we talk?" without context.
8ytecoder 5y ago
You can still add some context on what you want to talk about. “Hey, do you have a minute. I want to pick your brain on xyz”. The recipient can then say, “Hey, I’m focused on abc right now and I can ping you in 15” or engage in the conversation. It gives the option. A simple Hey is like acosting someone on their way to a meeting to talk about your problem. They have no option but to engage. Personally, I’ve gotten used to being firm on these things and just don’t respond to these messages. They usually send an email or setup a meeting or ask me the question in a meeting we’re both in. Clearly it’s not urgent enough for me to drop everything and respond.
Szpadel 5y ago
you can still say "hey, I need your help with xxx, do you have time now?" then at least other side know that to expect, can estimate how much time its needed to reserve for this synchronous communication and might later just replay with something like "sorry, I don't have time for this right now, but you can reach Yyy, he is also familiar with this topic"
matwood 5y ago
What I do when needing a synchronous communication is ask "do you have time right now for a <conversation/call/chat>?" That way the person knows I want something synchronous, and they have the option to say no and give me a time when they can be synchronous.
seattle_spring 5y ago
You should still add the topic in your first message. "You around? I have a few questions about X and Y and was wondering if I could grab 10 minutes of your time to talk them through?"
randomdata 5y ago
There is still no reason to not state your questions upfront, even if the answers are best delivered synchronously. Withholding that kind of information makes you appear dishonest in a professional setting.
Smaug123 5y ago
If you just want a synchronous conversation per se, ask a #social channel if anyone's around for a real-time chat. If you want to have a specific synchronous conversation with someone (one-off or regularly), schedule it; this is what calendars are for!
yamazakiwi 5y ago
These are my 2 least favorite ways of being reached. "Are you there?" This phrase makes me feel like I'm being accused of not being available if I don't reply and I find it rude and inconsiderate of other's time. You busy? Of course I am...? I would leave both of these on unread until the end of time.

allknowingfrog 5y ago

This still seems like an example where you could directly state your request and avoid some unnecessary ceremony. When I want to have a synchronous conversation, I don't send "you there?", I send "Could you call me when you have a minute? I want to chat about <some topic>."

robbrown451 5y ago
Yeah, it depends on who I am talking to. If it is someone I am fairly friendly with, or family, I'm less likely to do that. If there is a single topic that is why I am reaching out, sure.

sfteus 5y ago

I've been working remote for ~7 years. The way I would handle this is simply saying something like "You available? Wanted to get a few minutes to discuss X/Y/Z" When you're attempting to set up synchronous communication, it's essential to let the other person know what the communication is about, and what level of focus you need from them, so they have time to prepare and ensure they have enough time for a proper dialogue. Can't count the number of times someone has said "you there?" while I'm in a meeting, which in my mind is "I'm available to answer simple questions" but not available to jump on a voice call, which is what they wanted originally.

ikornaselur 5y ago

I will usually fully ignore those. If someone wants to have a synchronous conversation, I want them to state that. Instead of saying "You there?" I would prefer "You have 5 minutes to discuss X?" or "Do you have a moment to hop on a call to chat about ?". That way I can make a decision on if I have time for it or not, instead of having to reply with "I'm here, what do you need?" only for it to end up being something that I didn't want to be disturbed for.

robbrown451 5y ago
"If someone wants to have a synchronous conversation, I want them to state that." The people that I would send a "you there?" message understand that my message is shorthand for that. They might respond with "in a meeting" or "gimme a few minutes" or if they are available for a synchronous conversation, "hey" or "what's up?" I have a couple contacts that are "on the spectrum" and I deal with them a little differently. They seem to need things spelled out a bit more explicitly. But those people tend to get left out of many discussions, and don't seem to do as well careerwise in the long term, because they don't really connect on a human level with people.
- ghaff 5y ago
  Exactly. I won't send ping or hi to a random person over chat. Frankly, I'd be more likely to send them an email with details, requests, etc. However, there are people who I work closely with who understand that if I do some sort of "are you there?" it's because I want to have a fairly synchronous conversation over the phone or over chat.

Lio 5y ago

That would be fine but you could give some context with that initial approach so that the other person can decide if they can stop or not. i.e. "Are you busy? Could you help me with blah blah" If you're getting bombarded with "you there?" from 20 people because some service they use has gone and right now you're trying to fix it for them all, well that can be stressful too. If you just "Hi." with nothing else they might never know to get back to you on a completely different issue.

robbrown451 5y ago
"If you're getting bombarded with "you there?" from 20 people because some service they use has gone and right now you're trying to fix it for them all, well that can be stressful too." Well it depend one what your job is and what your relationship to that person is. I wouldn't send a "you there?" to someone in IT when I need something fixed. But I would to someone I've had an ongoing working relationship with and when we communicate, there is typically more that one single issue to discuss.

lwhi 5y ago

And some people will think you're rude as a result.

codazoda 5y ago

You should always try to give context. Examples... Are you available to answer some questions about Docker? Would you have time to help me with this nginx config? Do you have time for our 1-on-1? I try not to say "have a minute" because conversations rarely last a minute or two if we're going to do it voice. As a manager, I try really hard never to say, "Can we talk?" without context.

8ytecoder 5y ago

You can still add some context on what you want to talk about. “Hey, do you have a minute. I want to pick your brain on xyz”. The recipient can then say, “Hey, I’m focused on abc right now and I can ping you in 15” or engage in the conversation. It gives the option. A simple Hey is like acosting someone on their way to a meeting to talk about your problem. They have no option but to engage. Personally, I’ve gotten used to being firm on these things and just don’t respond to these messages. They usually send an email or setup a meeting or ask me the question in a meeting we’re both in. Clearly it’s not urgent enough for me to drop everything and respond.

Szpadel 5y ago

you can still say "hey, I need your help with xxx, do you have time now?" then at least other side know that to expect, can estimate how much time its needed to reserve for this synchronous communication and might later just replay with something like "sorry, I don't have time for this right now, but you can reach Yyy, he is also familiar with this topic"

matwood 5y ago

What I do when needing a synchronous communication is ask "do you have time right now for a <conversation/call/chat>?" That way the person knows I want something synchronous, and they have the option to say no and give me a time when they can be synchronous.

seattle_spring 5y ago

You should still add the topic in your first message. "You around? I have a few questions about X and Y and was wondering if I could grab 10 minutes of your time to talk them through?"

randomdata 5y ago

There is still no reason to not state your questions upfront, even if the answers are best delivered synchronously. Withholding that kind of information makes you appear dishonest in a professional setting.

Smaug123 5y ago

If you just want a synchronous conversation per se, ask a #social channel if anyone's around for a real-time chat. If you want to have a specific synchronous conversation with someone (one-off or regularly), schedule it; this is what calendars are for!

yamazakiwi 5y ago

These are my 2 least favorite ways of being reached. "Are you there?" This phrase makes me feel like I'm being accused of not being available if I don't reply and I find it rude and inconsiderate of other's time. You busy? Of course I am...? I would leave both of these on unread until the end of time.