7 ms·

Yes, this, 100%. I find it very annoying to get a notification popping up on my screen for you to say "hi" when obviously you want to ask me for something...and

• Pooge 5y ago
  Bonus points if the greeting is included in the same message as the inquiry, so as to not be notified multiple times for the same thing.
  • laurent92 5y ago
    Isn’t it a bug of the chat app, notifying someone for each message despite having a UX which incentivizes sending a message each time you type Enter?
    • arkitaip 5y ago
      It's a dark pattern designed to drive fake engagement.
      • deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
    • benhurmarcel 5y ago
      I wish chat apps (or mobile OSes) could skip the notification if that same contact has gotten one in the previous seconds.
• antattack 5y ago
  I say just 'Hello', if I suspect that asking my question outright, would get me delayed attention.
  • IceMetalPunk 5y ago
    ...so, if you think the person is reluctant to help you with something, your solution is to get them into a conversation unknowingly about the thing they can't/won't help you with?
    • antattack 5y ago
      Sometimes people are apprehensive to say that they don't know. They will start searching, trying to figure out if they should know, if they forgot something, etc. Plus, sometimes it takes other person's involvement (so we are on the same page) to get the right answer.
      • meken 5y ago
        That’s where you can follow up with saying “It’s ok if you don’t know. If not, do you know someone that might?”
  • mmis1000 5y ago
    I generally outright ignore people only saying 'hello' because it is mostly crypto spams these days if you actually reply. I think it is better to just say it, or be ready to be ignored if the other end just don't know who are you.
• dylan604 5y ago
  Just because the chat app shows that you are logged in, it does not mean that you are immediately available to chat. If I want to leave a message for someone with a response accepted at their convenience, then I send an email. If I reach out via chat, it's because I expect a realtime exchange. Again, because the little green dot appears next to user's name does not mean they are not deep in the tall grass and readily available to chat. To me, chat is just like walking up to someone at the cubicle to have a conversation. If I walk up to someone and notice they are deep in it, I don't bother them. Chat doesn't allow for that kind of signaling, so a "got a sec?" isn't a wast of time as it allows for them to not reply indicating "no" without stopping to type "no".
  • MattGaiser 5y ago
    > "got a sec?" The problem is that the answer to this is heavily dependent on what it is, especially because "got a sec" doesn't meaningfully time box the activity. I need something more to know whether this is something I can engage in immediately.
    • IceMetalPunk 5y ago
      100% agreed. "Hey, do you have the link for the ticket connected to incident 34567?" is a 30-second task that I can certainly help you with at any time. "Hey, can we discuss the details of this bug report and iron out the multiple specific steps required to work it, along with some help debugging it?" is a 30-to-60-minute task that I may not have enough time for right now. I can't know whether I've "got a sec" to help you if I don't yet know what you need help with... which could be explained in a quick sentence after the "hello" without waiting for a response before telling me.
    • evandale 5y ago
      Not only on what it is but who it is. My boss? Absolutely. A colleague on my team? Maybe. Junior developer that can never seem to use google? Probably not. L1 or L2 support? Never, use the team's support email.
      • 5y ago
• cyberpunk 5y ago
  ... I think maybe you need to rethink or work on that one. Do you just run up to people and ask them a question in person, or do some kind of greeting first? I don't think it's a bad thing that people share some mannerisms in IM that they do in person. Are you really stressed out? Either way, looking at the world at the moment, what a great thing to have as a huge problem.
  • closeparen 5y ago
    The closer analogue would be leaving a voicemail or a note that says "hey, I want to talk to you ASAP" without any context.
  • Pooge 5y ago
    > Do you just run up to people and ask them a question in person, or do some kind of greeting first? The problem is not whether you're greeting or not. Nobody complained about having a greeting in their messages. The problem is that chats are very asynchronous; by the time I read your message you could've solved it already. There is absolutely nothing wrong in writing "Hey, I need help with <x>. I already tried <y> and <z>. If you have a few moments I'd appreciate the help". Then the answer would be "Hello! Oh, of course, the answer is <a>". This is especially important if you're getting a lot of messages every day. At the end of the day, that amounts to a non-negligible amount of time lost, just because the person didn't write their problem right after their greeting - which they would've done anyway after your greeting.
    • cogman10 5y ago
      I'd take it one step further. If the opening message doesn't have enough information for an immediate action to be taken, it doesn't have enough information. A message "Hey, I need help with x" is just as frustrating as "Hello" because it results in the same back and forth. "What problem are you having with x?" "Well, I want to do y" "Why are you doing y?" "Well, for z purpose". Your chats should be of the form "Hey, I'm doing x y z because of p d q. I've tried a b c, do you know what I'm missing?" Enough info that the person on the other side is able to answer the question with minimal followups. You do this, because you have all the time in the world to craft the opening message, so why not do a good one so you are requiring minimal sync points. Even if the chat is about setting up a face to face meeting, it should be the same. "Hey, I need to talk to you about x y z. Can we setup a face to face meeting? I'm available at these times". What's frustrating is "Got a sec" or "can we talk?" as openers. Yes? No? What's the is about?
• VBprogrammer 5y ago
  Slightly more annoying is someone who you do not know giving you a "Hey, how are you doing?". Try, "Hey Bob, this is Alice, I work on the QA team in Dublin. I'm looking at an issue I think you might be able to help me with http://jira.yourcorp.org/browse/ORDERS-1234 http://jira.yourcorp.org/browse/ORDERS-1234. Would you have a minute to discuss this?"
  • jsjohnst 5y ago
    > how are you doing? I’m so annoyed by the abuse of this phrase that I’ve taken to giving entirely inappropriate responses (based on context) when folks ask.
    • IceMetalPunk 5y ago
    • dspillett 5y ago
      Similar. “How it is hanging” usually gets a response of the sort “<thoughtful look, shuffles hips> To the left, a little lower than usual. <pause for troubled look> Well, you did ask.”.
    • lwhi 5y ago
      It's called an opener.
      • jsjohnst 5y ago
        And what you just did is called “stating the obvious”. How was either this reply or yours actually helpful to the conversation?
        • lwhi 5y ago
          Because a lot of this conversation is avoiding the obvious, and becoming an echo chamber of obtuse opinion.
  • 5y ago
• vsareto 5y ago
  Pet peeves are anxieties that haven't been properly dealt with yet. I'd encourage folks to mute the notifications at the OS level and habitually check your chat app as an alternative. The key cause is often the notifications themselves and some are more sensitive to them than others.
  • IceMetalPunk 5y ago
    I would 100% miss messages that way, so it's not an option. But honestly, the anxiety isn't about the notifications (although those are annoying). It's about how if someone says "hi" without any info, then I say "hi" back and now I have to wait for a response before I even know if I can help or not. The anxiety is about time management, not notification toasts.
    • vsareto 5y ago
      You don't have to sit and watch the screen for a response. Reply with 'hi' and go back to whatever you were doing and ignore it until you're ready to answer it. Maybe you are in an environment where everyone needs a fast reply from you and your undivided attention, in which case, I don't think it'd be unreasonable to link them nohello.net as your first reply.
      • IceMetalPunk 5y ago
        I didn't say anything about watching the screen; I mentioned time management as the issue. Yes, I can go back to what I was doing, only to be interrupted by another notification when you finally respond telling me what you need. But (a) that interrupts my workflow twice instead of just once, which is all that's needed, and (b) regardless of whether I'm watching the chat or returning back to work, it still takes longer to start helping you if I have to wait for you to tell me what you need help with. I'm fine with a hello-only message if you're just chatting to talk, but at work, 90% of chat messages are for collaboration; I can't collaborate with you if you still haven't told me what you need collaboration on.
      • meken 5y ago
• Philip-J-Fry 5y ago
  I had one person send "hi" to me. I ignored it hoping they'd send the question eventually without me saying "hi" back. After 30 mins they sent "hi" again... I think from now on I'm just going to ignore it from the people who do it all the time. They won't get a response unless they actually tell me what they want.
• lwhi 5y ago
  Most people will not be thinking the same way you do.