5 ms·

If the opening story about the 10 year old being put up for adoption 9+ years after being adopted as an infant is true, then I'm speechless. What an incredibly

If the opening story about the 10 year old being put up for adoption 9+ years after being adopted as an infant is true, then I'm speechless. What an incredibly destructive, hateful thing to do. On the one hand, I don't think you should be able to do such things to a child. On the other hand, this is such a clear signal of how inappropriate you are as a parent that I guess the answer is to take the child as quickly as possible and seek to minimize the ongoing damage that is almost certainly already occuring.

bobthechef 5y ago
civilized 5y ago
Talk about a "no good choices" situation.
diob 5y ago
It's terrible, but on the other hand I wish my parents / step parents had been courageous enough to do it rather than cowardly trying to make my life hell instead.
- toomuchtodo 5y ago
  The more resources available for parents who shouldn’t become parents to stay childfree, the better. Everyone decries the falling fertility rate. Let’s talk about how many kids who are in foster care every year (~400k in the US), who are in toxic homes, or who are homeless. We have a long way to go. (I donate to non profits who subsidize voluntary permanent birth control and who advocate for the childfree)
  - rayiner 5y ago
    - toomuchtodo 5y ago
      Reproducing for the sake of doing so is clearing becoming passé [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]. High level, the world needs less people [7]. Lots of roads to get there, all valid as long as they don't cause harm in the process. Live your best life, and for many, that means being childfree. If you're a decent, responsible parent, more power to you, as long as you're willing to shoulder the costs of your children. Culture and passing of it down is seemingly overrated in the current era (outside of some belief systems), and even the Mongol Empire ran out of steam (despite Genghis Khan's progeny and reproductive efforts). Build strong institutions that will withstand the test of time, versus traditional families, marriages, and progeny. Arguably, this is an indicator of an advanced civilization, versus relying on families and tribalism for strength and culture. [1] https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate [2] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/11/19/growing-sha... [3] https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/childless-older-adult-population.html https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/childles... [4] https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-rise-of-childless-america https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-rise-of-childless-america [5] https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/29/childfree-women-parenting-parenthood-no-kids/3153546002/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/29/childf... [6] https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/05/upshot/americans-are-having-fewer-babies-they-told-us-why.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/05/upshot/americans-are-havi... [7] https://www.nationalgeographic.org/topics/resource-library-human-impacts-environment/ https://www.nationalgeographic.org/topics/resource-library-h...
      - satellite2 5y ago
        The Repugnant Conclusion
        toomuchtodo 5y ago
        I had never heard of this, but I have been looking for this sort of explanation of this model, thank you for mentioning it! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere_addition_paradox https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere_addition_paradox https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasons_and_Persons https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasons_and_Persons https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/repugnant-conclusion/ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/repugnant-conclusion/
Tade0 5y ago
My relatives adopted a child who went through something similar at age 4. She's okay now, but it took years to get to that point.

bobthechef 5y ago

civilized 5y ago

Talk about a "no good choices" situation.

diob 5y ago

It's terrible, but on the other hand I wish my parents / step parents had been courageous enough to do it rather than cowardly trying to make my life hell instead.

toomuchtodo 5y ago
The more resources available for parents who shouldn’t become parents to stay childfree, the better. Everyone decries the falling fertility rate. Let’s talk about how many kids who are in foster care every year (~400k in the US), who are in toxic homes, or who are homeless. We have a long way to go. (I donate to non profits who subsidize voluntary permanent birth control and who advocate for the childfree)
- rayiner 5y ago
  - toomuchtodo 5y ago
    Reproducing for the sake of doing so is clearing becoming passé [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]. High level, the world needs less people [7]. Lots of roads to get there, all valid as long as they don't cause harm in the process. Live your best life, and for many, that means being childfree. If you're a decent, responsible parent, more power to you, as long as you're willing to shoulder the costs of your children. Culture and passing of it down is seemingly overrated in the current era (outside of some belief systems), and even the Mongol Empire ran out of steam (despite Genghis Khan's progeny and reproductive efforts). Build strong institutions that will withstand the test of time, versus traditional families, marriages, and progeny. Arguably, this is an indicator of an advanced civilization, versus relying on families and tribalism for strength and culture. [1] https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate [2] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/11/19/growing-sha... [3] https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/childless-older-adult-population.html https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/childles... [4] https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-rise-of-childless-america https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-rise-of-childless-america [5] https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/29/childfree-women-parenting-parenthood-no-kids/3153546002/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/29/childf... [6] https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/05/upshot/americans-are-having-fewer-babies-they-told-us-why.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/05/upshot/americans-are-havi... [7] https://www.nationalgeographic.org/topics/resource-library-human-impacts-environment/ https://www.nationalgeographic.org/topics/resource-library-h...
    - satellite2 5y ago
      The Repugnant Conclusion
      - toomuchtodo 5y ago
        I had never heard of this, but I have been looking for this sort of explanation of this model, thank you for mentioning it! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere_addition_paradox https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere_addition_paradox https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasons_and_Persons https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasons_and_Persons https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/repugnant-conclusion/ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/repugnant-conclusion/

Tade0 5y ago

My relatives adopted a child who went through something similar at age 4. She's okay now, but it took years to get to that point.