4 ms·
You can just say the Philippines, not sure why you are obscuring the country name.
by ciguy 5y ago
You can just say the Philippines, not sure why you are obscuring the country name.
- notch656a 5y agoTrying not to prejudice the audience, I know that anyone familiar with the country will know what it is. Not really trying to obscure it.
- sangnoir 5y agoThe Philipines is has a long and notorious history of mail-order brides[1]. Parent's incredulity on peoples attitudes rings a little hollow when that's explicitly spelled out. 1. The term predates the world-wide web to a time when women in developing counties would be in a literal catalog, and correspondence was done via mail.
- notch656a 5y ago
- sangnoir 5y agoDon't put words in my mouth: I said your incredulity at people rings hollow - not your experience. It's like a Tesla owner being surprised that people assume they bought a Tesla because it's an EV, when the real reason is because they love the seats and infotainment system. It should not be surpring to discover that a widely-held semtiment (right or wrong) is widely-held.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- notch656a 5y agoI see, the issue is you don't understand what incredulity means. It doesn't mean I'm surprised. I'm perfectly willing to _believe_ that people have rational views on what a situation may be. I understand your wish to be sanctimonious, and perhaps it would have been wise for me to turn the other cheek rather than point out your hypocrisy of putting words in my mouth. Mea Culpa.
- krageon 5y agoAnother word for the process of getting a mail-order "bride" in the context of the current day is "internet dating", which everyone does. The other term is still used to evoke some historically charged negative emotions due to the implication that perhaps people are bought or relationships are started for the wrong reasons, but the modern dating scene has the exact same problems. What is left then is racism (it's "bad" because the parties are from different countries and perhaps even have different skin colour), and deserves to just go straight out the window.
- sangnoir 5y agoYou're skipping over the power dynamics- the brides are often very poor and dependent on spouse for financial support, the lack of support network (bride leaves family & friends thousands of miles away),as well as the precarious visa situation (real or perceived). Other than that, it's just like internet dating, like you said.
- notch656a 5y agoSo what are you going to do? Ban these brides from seeking a husband abroad? What is the point of complaining about mail order brides? You can educate them on all these things (many of these brides surely already know this) and yet many would still choose on their free volition to proceed ahead.