20 ms·

As the father of 18 year old who is not going to college and instead working as a carpenter, I don't think lumping 18 year olds with 25+ year olds makes much se

• SuoDuanDao 5y ago
  Sure, it can be a great arrangement. It will slow down his dating prospects though, who can host if a relationship gets serious is a common discussion in dating.
  • bmj 5y ago
    Dating for the 18-21 cohort, outside of the university setting, is already very challenging. Truth be told, some of the women my son has dated in this cohort also live at home.
    • reducesuffering 5y ago
      Very challenging? Most couples have a car between them and a whole lot of appetite for adventure and risque.
      • humanrebar 5y ago
        Think beyond dating. If they want to get a place together, do they have the combined resources to swing rent? It's not like everyone lives on a farm anymore. You probably can't just build a starter house on the other side of her dad's back 40 acres.
        • asdff 5y ago
          Rent gets a lot easier when its two earners splitting a one bedroom or even a studio
          • humanrebar 5y ago
            Sure, but that's true with platonic roommates, too, right?
            • snakeboy 5y ago
              Usually platonic roommates are less willing to share a one-bedroom, much less a studio.
  • decafninja 5y ago
    Multigenerational households are the default in many countries/cultures with many young adults - even high earning ones like doctors, hedge funders, or FAANG SWEs -continuing to live with their parents until marriage. They manage to get in relationships and date just fine. The logistics can be different of course.
• rhino369 5y ago
  It absolutely makes sense. The idea that an 18 year old would start their own household is an artifact from a small period in our history when 18 year olds could easily get an unskilled job that would afford a decent modest lifestyle. But that only really started in the late 40's and was over by the 70's.
  • buscoquadnary 5y ago
    You know one thing I find interesting is you specifically call out "unskilled job", which I think has a point but the OP mentions specifically his son studying to be a carpenter that I would consider a "high skilled" job, even if it is blue collar, and then you suggest there was a small period of time when an 18 yo could provide for a family with unskilled labor. I then realized that for much of history up until recently by the time a young man was 18 years old he was already a skilled craftsman at his craft to a large extant. The young man would've been training with his father at his craft from the time he was ten years old and so by the time he was 18 would be proficient in what he had to do. I wonder then is part of the issue we face due to the fact that we spend so much time trying to instill a modern education into youth until they are adults that they have to spend an additional 4-8 years acquiring an actual skill in order to be able to provide value in the workforce?
    • giantg2 5y ago
      I largely agree. My grandfather grew up on a farm, graduated 8th grade, then continued to work the farm while mining coal with the other men in his family. That wasn't uncommon in his time.
    • toyg 5y ago
      Yep. And we do it largely because we started from a schooling model built to shape factory workers, and then tried to develop it by aping what the upper classes did - regardless of whether their models could actually scale or were at all desirable in large numbers. Sadly, doing so also stripped dignity from vocational / blue-collar work - even when it pays (very) well, kids are told that a life in the trades is for the uneducated, ignorant swines. Ironically, part of this development is led by emancipation of the lower classes themselves: "I break my back every day but my son will study and be a doctor". A sentiment we all admire, but ends up reinforcing the idea that the father's blue-collar work is crap - and that's not how it should be, all workers should have equal dignity and value.
• UncleMeat 5y ago
  Further, I think it is largely undesirable for people in their late teens or early 20s to be living with romantic partners. Breakups are way more complicated when you also lose your housing.
  • throwaway0a5e 5y ago
    People don't get good at stuff unless they practice At some point you need to just do these adult things in order to get good. Delaying doesn't change that much. Better to get the practice over with as soon as possible.
    • UncleMeat 5y ago
      That's true. But moving in with somebody is high risk. You often need to practice at just being in a relationship and get good at that first. What is the average number of romantic partners that a person lives with in their life? It probably isn't that high.
      • prawn 5y ago
        Travelling with a partner is a better bet. Involves a lot of the testing scenarios that living with someone brings: decisions, shared finances, putting in effort, cleanliness in shared space (roadtrip car, motel rooms) etc. But worst case you've wasted a week and a smaller amount of money.
• frankbreetz 5y ago
  The statistic uses "now" which implies a change over time, so they have been grouped together for while and it may be difficult to separate this group from past studies. This does bring up an important concept of "emerging adulthood" [0]. Where in modern day societies there seem to be a time period where young adults do what you are describing. There seem to be some of this coupled with some young men not being able to find purpose in life as evidence by the increase in suicide and drug use in the that group. [0]https://www.unh.edu/pacs/emerging-adulthood https://www.unh.edu/pacs/emerging-adulthood
• tharne 5y ago
  This is spot on. Multigenerational housing used to be the norm, not a symbol of failure. Why we all think it's a great idea to leave our families at 18 and pay high rents so that we can live with strangers we found on the internet is beyond me.
  • openknot 5y ago
    There are good reasons in response to: "Why we all think it's a great idea to leave our families at 18 and pay high rents so that we can live with strangers we found on the internet is beyond me," though personally I also don't believe that multigenerational housing is a symbol of failure, and often lets a person save a lot of money. It's more difficult to maintain a romantic relationship when living with family (especially if both partners live with family), and it can also delay life skills (e.g. learning how to cook at home, clean, and generally learn to live more independently; though it's possible to deliberately learn this while living with family, it becomes a necessity to learn after moving out).
    • tharne 5y ago
      There are definitely some benefits to living on one's own for a while, but I do not think we should continue to view as the only viable option, or even the default for that matter.
      • decafninja 5y ago
        Being pressured to move out of your parents' home ASAP is largely an American phenomenon I think. Maybe parts of Europe as well? In many parts of the world, the point where you are expected to (and socially pressured to) move out of your parents home is marriage. Of course there are exceptions, like moving to a faraway city for a job, etc. Whereas I see many American youths bleeding away their income on rent and expenses while living 10 minutes away from their parents' home.
        • info781 5y ago
          It is the weathly countries where people move out younger.