5 ms·

>but getting married is betting half your stuff and a substantial amount of future earnings things will work out. Exactly. It's greater risk for a greater rewa

>but getting married is betting half your stuff and a substantial amount of future earnings things will work out. Exactly. It's greater risk for a greater reward. Also divorce rates are significantly lower (seeing ~20% on Google) for this with a college degree

hamandcheese 5y ago
What is the greater reward?
- dahfizz 5y ago
  Having a real family?
- toomuchtodo 5y ago
  There is some evidence that male marriage participants live longer and are healthier [1] than non married counterparts. Conversely, there is also evidence that single, childless women are the happiest subpopulation [2]. With regards to data about happiness, you can make a case for whatever your position is based on picking your choice of longitudinal study. Happiness is a crapshoot. [1] https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB5018.html https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB5018.html [2] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-h...
  - pempem 5y ago
    Happiness is a caveated crapshoot I'm fairly certain we are all capable of the google search and you can and will find the multitude of studies, anecdotes, memes and conversations about: - women's unpaid labor at home, with their children, in their community and for aging relatives/relatives who need care - women's thwarted ability to get promoted - women's inability to negotiate as easily for a raise bc when you're aggressive you're a bitch and when you're not you dont get a raise - women's emotional labor in relationships as men in our specific (NA/Euro) societies tend to have limited social circles as they age Single childless women are happier for structural and social reasons. It is not in fact just a crapshoot.
    - Thorrez 5y ago
      The promotion and negotiation problems will negatively affect single childless women too, right? So those would make that group less happy compared to the male groups.
      - pempem 5y ago
        Yeup. Anecdotal opinion: it is easier to keep finding new strategies to deal with my career, including building my own business, when I'm not drained by my personal life.
  - chii 5y ago
    > male marriage participants live longer and are healthier [1] than non married counterparts. or a wealthier male is more likely to be able to get married, and thus also be healthier (due to the wealth, not the marriage). To me, happiness is the ability to do what you wish, and not have responsibility or obligations to anyone.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
  - alanfranz 5y ago
    I know this is anecdata, but almost all women I know wanted kids very badly, and they were ok with a bad career but a nice family. Those that are childless despite their desire don’t look that happy to me. Sure, I know women who’re childless and single by choice and they’re perfecly happy with that. But I wonder whether we’re just cherrypicking a peculiar and yet uncommon population slice.
  - gmt2027 5y ago
    It was widely covered in the media that unmarried women are the happiest subgroup. However, the reported study may have misinterpreted some data. The study reported that married women were happier only when their spouse was in the room. When their spouse was absent their response was miserable. The problem is that the original survey defined absence as a spouse no longer living in the household. https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married...
- drewcoo 5y ago
  half their stuff
- throwaway6734 5y ago
  being absolutely committed to someone, sharing your life with them, and raising a family.
- throwaway2333 5y ago
  A persistent sense of fulfilment -- one that makes you feel like everything is going to be alright. There's no need to keep on searching. You have everything you'll ever need right here.
  - astura 5y ago
    Spot on, "persistent sense of fulfilment" exactly the way I feel about being married. Thanks for putting it into words for me. I'll also add - a feeling of stability I didn't think was possible for me (mega high anxiety) to experience.
- csomar 5y ago
  There is none. But married people would like to make imaginary (ie: emotional) rewards to explain their non-sense trade.
danuker 5y ago
I suppose you can still have a prenup explicitly sharing wealth 50/50 if one party will take care of the kids and home while the other will earn money.
- vkou 5y ago
  The problem with all of this is always intangible wealth, and unpaid contributions to the household. Person A got a degree while person B sweated away to keep a roof over their heads. If they divorce the day Person A graduates, with zero net assets, Person B gets the raw end of that deal (Unless it's a degree in Latin poetry.) Or, person A made money, while person B did all the unpaid housemaking, childcare, etc. Or, person A made the money, did the housemaking, childcare, while person B bummed around, drunk all day. All of these are special cases, and none of them can be covered by a one-size-fits-all policy. It's why divorce litigation is necessary, as a safety valve, and why pre-nups aren't ironclad.

hamandcheese 5y ago

What is the greater reward?

dahfizz 5y ago
Having a real family?
toomuchtodo 5y ago
There is some evidence that male marriage participants live longer and are healthier [1] than non married counterparts. Conversely, there is also evidence that single, childless women are the happiest subpopulation [2]. With regards to data about happiness, you can make a case for whatever your position is based on picking your choice of longitudinal study. Happiness is a crapshoot. [1] https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB5018.html https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB5018.html [2] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-h...
- pempem 5y ago
  Happiness is a caveated crapshoot I'm fairly certain we are all capable of the google search and you can and will find the multitude of studies, anecdotes, memes and conversations about: - women's unpaid labor at home, with their children, in their community and for aging relatives/relatives who need care - women's thwarted ability to get promoted - women's inability to negotiate as easily for a raise bc when you're aggressive you're a bitch and when you're not you dont get a raise - women's emotional labor in relationships as men in our specific (NA/Euro) societies tend to have limited social circles as they age Single childless women are happier for structural and social reasons. It is not in fact just a crapshoot.
  - Thorrez 5y ago
    The promotion and negotiation problems will negatively affect single childless women too, right? So those would make that group less happy compared to the male groups.
    - pempem 5y ago
      Yeup. Anecdotal opinion: it is easier to keep finding new strategies to deal with my career, including building my own business, when I'm not drained by my personal life.
- chii 5y ago
  > male marriage participants live longer and are healthier [1] than non married counterparts. or a wealthier male is more likely to be able to get married, and thus also be healthier (due to the wealth, not the marriage). To me, happiness is the ability to do what you wish, and not have responsibility or obligations to anyone.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
- alanfranz 5y ago
  I know this is anecdata, but almost all women I know wanted kids very badly, and they were ok with a bad career but a nice family. Those that are childless despite their desire don’t look that happy to me. Sure, I know women who’re childless and single by choice and they’re perfecly happy with that. But I wonder whether we’re just cherrypicking a peculiar and yet uncommon population slice.
- gmt2027 5y ago
  It was widely covered in the media that unmarried women are the happiest subgroup. However, the reported study may have misinterpreted some data. The study reported that married women were happier only when their spouse was in the room. When their spouse was absent their response was miserable. The problem is that the original survey defined absence as a spouse no longer living in the household. https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married...
drewcoo 5y ago
half their stuff
throwaway6734 5y ago
being absolutely committed to someone, sharing your life with them, and raising a family.
throwaway2333 5y ago
A persistent sense of fulfilment -- one that makes you feel like everything is going to be alright. There's no need to keep on searching. You have everything you'll ever need right here.
- astura 5y ago
  Spot on, "persistent sense of fulfilment" exactly the way I feel about being married. Thanks for putting it into words for me. I'll also add - a feeling of stability I didn't think was possible for me (mega high anxiety) to experience.
csomar 5y ago
There is none. But married people would like to make imaginary (ie: emotional) rewards to explain their non-sense trade.

danuker 5y ago

I suppose you can still have a prenup explicitly sharing wealth 50/50 if one party will take care of the kids and home while the other will earn money.

vkou 5y ago
The problem with all of this is always intangible wealth, and unpaid contributions to the household. Person A got a degree while person B sweated away to keep a roof over their heads. If they divorce the day Person A graduates, with zero net assets, Person B gets the raw end of that deal (Unless it's a degree in Latin poetry.) Or, person A made money, while person B did all the unpaid housemaking, childcare, etc. Or, person A made the money, did the housemaking, childcare, while person B bummed around, drunk all day. All of these are special cases, and none of them can be covered by a one-size-fits-all policy. It's why divorce litigation is necessary, as a safety valve, and why pre-nups aren't ironclad.