4 ms·

It is a shame that the hikkomori is a trend and becoming popular with COVID.

dustintrex 5y ago
Eh, I doubt many people become hikikomoris because it's trendy. In Japan, it's usually understood to be a reaction to social pressures, basically dropping out of all the various societal rat races (work, dating, "adulting") simultaneously.
- brnt 5y ago
  > adulting Is there a word for the opposite? A desire to escape the pressure of being a child/younh adult? The pressure to be a child and do childlike things always annoyed me so...
  - watwut 5y ago
    "Wishing to grow" or "thinking he is already adult" or "being mature for his age" depending on how you want to spin it.
- smcl 5y ago
  I don't think this was meant as "trendy" as in, people see it as an attractive lifestyle. But rather "it is becoming more of a thing".
pkrotich 5y ago
I'm actually attracted to it - the more I get older the more I think it's a lifestyle for me.
- systematical 5y ago
  I am generally fine only interacting with people face-to-face once or twice a month. All my close friends live states away, so we text or talk. I have my dog who I take on walks. And if I absolutely get tired of being alone (about once or twice a month) I go to a bar and strike up conversation. Sure I do vacations and concerts and the like, but in general I prefer being solo. I've been this way my whole life. I like it, I definitely don't like doing stuff with people more than once a week, too draining on me. Amazingly I even have a girlfriend. She lives two hours away and we switch off who drives to stay the weekend each month.
symlinkk 5y ago
I think the relevant question is “why are people dropping out of society in greater numbers than ever before? What changed?”
- salt-thrower 5y ago
  And another relevant question, is it actually happening more or are we just noticing it more and calling attention to it? The concept of a hermit is very, very old. Some percentage of humans have always opted out of communal culture for a more isolated experience. Whether that percentage is rising, by how much, and why, is tough to analyze. Also, the "why" of that question is ripe culture war fodder, which makes any discussion difficult.
  - BoxOfRain 5y ago
    >Some percentage of humans have always opted out of communal culture for a more isolated experience. Society's perception of these people has varied over time too. At one point what we'd consider a shut-in might well have been considered a holy man in certain specific circumstances.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- 9530jh9054ven 5y ago
  >why are people dropping out of society in greater numbers than ever before? What changed? Why not? You grow being told that you go to school, you get the high grades, you get the good job, make friends, marry the girl, pop a few kids, and you're happy. But it's never enough. There's always something you did wrong, always more you need to do right. You force yourself to do the things you're expected or you're forced to do the things you're expected to be happy about even when inside you're inside you scream and weep and want it all to just go away. Always more you must be doing it. Hold on, they will tell you. Things will get better if you keep going, they will tell you. You look at all the fighting at home. There's never any laughing or fun talk; you dread coming home because one wrong word or a wrong look and it's more shouting. This is what being with the girl you love is like? Turning home from a refuge into a place of fear and terror? Hold on, they will tell you. Things will get better if you keep going, they will tell you. Ultimately that turns out to be fine for you. You can't really get bring yourself to really befriend anyone anyways. You have nothing in common with anyone else. You have nothing you can say and nothing you can do that would make their lives just that little bit better. So you say nothing. And you do nothing. You just keep going on and on to the next thing and the next thing after that. Hold on, they will tell you. Things will get better if you keep going, they will tell you. But five years later on, and it didn't get better. Ten years on and it didn't get better. Twenty five years later and it never got better. On that day you realize what a sham it all was. It never got better, and it never will get better. They were lying to you all along. There is no better tomorrow. And then you realize something else. Maybe that's fine to. The sun rises, other people laugh and play, and the world moves on whether you're there or not. So you just keep doing it. No hopes. No dreams. No future. Just never ending Now where you just survive the day, only to wake up and do it all over again until you don't. So... after all that. Why not? I realize that it might not help answer why more and more might choose to do so. I can't really offer answers to that. I can only answer why one person might choose to.
Cthulhu_ 5y ago
What's the alternative? I mean you buy a house to live there. But in modern (western) society, especially in SF companies, start-ups, and FAANG, it's somehow normalized that you should be spending most of your time at work. 10-15 years ago, Google was praised for offering three meals and a fully equipped gym to their employees. But why do you work? For work, your employer, and the office's sake, or so you can live comfortably? I for one bought and live in a house so I can live comfortable. It's where all my stuff is. Similarly in Japan, there's the work culture and the 'salarymen' culture where you don't go home before your boss does. Since your boss has a boss themselves, it quickly becomes a chain where people 'work' at all waking hours. But that's not a lifestyle to aspire to, I think. Anyway TL;DR, think about your life, what you want to do, why you do what you do, why you work, what you spend your time doing. I for one really appreciate owning a house during this pandemic times. I'd be in a much worse place if I either had to go to the office, or if I still lived in a shitty apartment on my own. (fwiw, the hikkomori lifestyle is not for me, but the WFH one works)

Eh, I doubt many people become hikikomoris because it's trendy. In Japan, it's usually understood to be a reaction to social pressures, basically dropping out of all the various societal rat races (work, dating, "adulting") simultaneously.

brnt 5y ago
> adulting Is there a word for the opposite? A desire to escape the pressure of being a child/younh adult? The pressure to be a child and do childlike things always annoyed me so...
- watwut 5y ago
  "Wishing to grow" or "thinking he is already adult" or "being mature for his age" depending on how you want to spin it.
smcl 5y ago
I don't think this was meant as "trendy" as in, people see it as an attractive lifestyle. But rather "it is becoming more of a thing".

pkrotich 5y ago

I'm actually attracted to it - the more I get older the more I think it's a lifestyle for me.

systematical 5y ago
I am generally fine only interacting with people face-to-face once or twice a month. All my close friends live states away, so we text or talk. I have my dog who I take on walks. And if I absolutely get tired of being alone (about once or twice a month) I go to a bar and strike up conversation. Sure I do vacations and concerts and the like, but in general I prefer being solo. I've been this way my whole life. I like it, I definitely don't like doing stuff with people more than once a week, too draining on me. Amazingly I even have a girlfriend. She lives two hours away and we switch off who drives to stay the weekend each month.

symlinkk 5y ago

I think the relevant question is “why are people dropping out of society in greater numbers than ever before? What changed?”

salt-thrower 5y ago
And another relevant question, is it actually happening more or are we just noticing it more and calling attention to it? The concept of a hermit is very, very old. Some percentage of humans have always opted out of communal culture for a more isolated experience. Whether that percentage is rising, by how much, and why, is tough to analyze. Also, the "why" of that question is ripe culture war fodder, which makes any discussion difficult.
- BoxOfRain 5y ago
  >Some percentage of humans have always opted out of communal culture for a more isolated experience. Society's perception of these people has varied over time too. At one point what we'd consider a shut-in might well have been considered a holy man in certain specific circumstances.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
9530jh9054ven 5y ago
>why are people dropping out of society in greater numbers than ever before? What changed? Why not? You grow being told that you go to school, you get the high grades, you get the good job, make friends, marry the girl, pop a few kids, and you're happy. But it's never enough. There's always something you did wrong, always more you need to do right. You force yourself to do the things you're expected or you're forced to do the things you're expected to be happy about even when inside you're inside you scream and weep and want it all to just go away. Always more you must be doing it. Hold on, they will tell you. Things will get better if you keep going, they will tell you. You look at all the fighting at home. There's never any laughing or fun talk; you dread coming home because one wrong word or a wrong look and it's more shouting. This is what being with the girl you love is like? Turning home from a refuge into a place of fear and terror? Hold on, they will tell you. Things will get better if you keep going, they will tell you. Ultimately that turns out to be fine for you. You can't really get bring yourself to really befriend anyone anyways. You have nothing in common with anyone else. You have nothing you can say and nothing you can do that would make their lives just that little bit better. So you say nothing. And you do nothing. You just keep going on and on to the next thing and the next thing after that. Hold on, they will tell you. Things will get better if you keep going, they will tell you. But five years later on, and it didn't get better. Ten years on and it didn't get better. Twenty five years later and it never got better. On that day you realize what a sham it all was. It never got better, and it never will get better. They were lying to you all along. There is no better tomorrow. And then you realize something else. Maybe that's fine to. The sun rises, other people laugh and play, and the world moves on whether you're there or not. So you just keep doing it. No hopes. No dreams. No future. Just never ending Now where you just survive the day, only to wake up and do it all over again until you don't. So... after all that. Why not? I realize that it might not help answer why more and more might choose to do so. I can't really offer answers to that. I can only answer why one person might choose to.

Cthulhu_ 5y ago

What's the alternative? I mean you buy a house to live there. But in modern (western) society, especially in SF companies, start-ups, and FAANG, it's somehow normalized that you should be spending most of your time at work. 10-15 years ago, Google was praised for offering three meals and a fully equipped gym to their employees. But why do you work? For work, your employer, and the office's sake, or so you can live comfortably? I for one bought and live in a house so I can live comfortable. It's where all my stuff is. Similarly in Japan, there's the work culture and the 'salarymen' culture where you don't go home before your boss does. Since your boss has a boss themselves, it quickly becomes a chain where people 'work' at all waking hours. But that's not a lifestyle to aspire to, I think. Anyway TL;DR, think about your life, what you want to do, why you do what you do, why you work, what you spend your time doing. I for one really appreciate owning a house during this pandemic times. I'd be in a much worse place if I either had to go to the office, or if I still lived in a shitty apartment on my own. (fwiw, the hikkomori lifestyle is not for me, but the WFH one works)