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I didn't speak Japanese when I first moved there. In larger cities (especially Tokyo), there are plenty of people who speak English, so it's generally not a hug

I didn't speak Japanese when I first moved there. In larger cities (especially Tokyo), there are plenty of people who speak English, so it's generally not a huge problem (although you'll find things easier if you do speak the language). The biggest issues are crowding and racism. Don't expect to get into any role of importance, and don't freak out when you hear "gaijin dame" (no foreigners allowed) in some places, or people sudenly moving to seats and tables further from you. On the other side of the coin, you won't be expected to understand how things work, so they'll be very forgiving (in a condescending way) of social gaffes and the strange way you act (after all, you're a foreigner; they all act that way). Many rules won't apply to you, unless you make an effort to have them apply to you (don't do this). You'll make few (if any) friends of the same gender. You will alway be an outsider. If you can live with this, you'll have a fun and interesting time there. Edit: Also, make friends with some oldtimers in the expat community (as long as they're not the jaded kind). They are a treasure trove of information and help. Edit 2: Don't learn Japanese from someone of the opposite gender (unless they're a trained language teacher). You'll sound ridiculous when you speak otherwise, because men and women use very different words and turns of phrases in many cases (nothing worse than hearing a man say "atashi" or the up-pitch "ne" unless he's in drag). Reading Japanese comic books can be helpful here because they tend towards hyperbole, which makes it easier to pick out the differences. I've found that female artists tend to play with language more than male artists. Edit 3: DO NOT BREAK THE LAW. Getting arrested in Japan is a hellish experience, and prison is even worse. Their justice system is still quite medieval. Quoting a friend of mine: "Japan is the most advanced 3rd world country I've seen."

deltaonefour 5y ago
Yeah I don't mind being an outsider too much. Thanks, this is a good answer.
- VRay 5y ago
  A lot of the foreigners living in Tokyo misinterpret tiny bits of nothing as hostility and racism I'm a big guy, sometimes people make space for me on the train or whatever. It isn't racism. I'm a scary and weird looking guy too by local standards, it isn't racism when people gawk a little sometimes. People talk to me like a kid after I completely botch some basic phrase The only racist thing that ever happened to me in years living there was this: I went to a bar with my white friend, and they said "No American" and made an x sign at us. I asked in Japanese "sorry, what was that you said?" and suddenly they welcomed us in.. I guess they just didn't want rowdy dudes who can't speak the language. Definitely not acceptable behavior from them, but not too bad IMO. I get way worse treatment in the USA for being Hispanic than I ever do for being a foreigner in Japan The expat community in Tokyo is kinda obnoxious. There are a lot of lazy, burned out guys who complain about everything
  - seanmcdirmid 5y ago
    > The expat community in Tokyo is kinda obnoxious. There are a lot of lazy, burned out guys who complain about everything How is that unique? Sounds like the expat community in any other Asian city.
  - hattori31 5y ago
    Exactly. If you are looking for racism you will find it. If you are looking to get offended you will get offended.
tromp 5y ago
> "gaijin dame" (no foreigners allowed) I recognize the word "dame" from playing the game of Go, where it means [1] a neutral point of no value. Curiously, that page says "It also has the everyday Japanese meanings of bad, don't do it." So foreigners are bad, don't do them :-) [1] https://senseis.xmp.net/?Dame https://senseis.xmp.net/?Dame
- yellow_lead 5y ago
  It also means "cannot; must not; not allowed "
stanrivers 5y ago
I laughed at your comment about "few (if any) friends of the same gender" I have noticed the same problem. Interesting to hear someone else say that, too. I always thought it was a "native male" thing... women could make native women friends that were only friends. Any native men "friends" were roughly always trying to be slightly more than friends. Men could make native women friends and truly only be friends. Men didn't make friends with many native men, at least beyond superficial relationships...
makotobestgirl 5y ago
> The biggest issues are crowding and racism That's surprising to hear. I have lived in Tokyo a fair amount of time (5+ years) and only experienced true racism, e.g. being not being allowed in a place for being non-Japanese, a handful of times, and those were mostly for what would be considered nighttime establishment that are a bit shady. Not doubting your experience, just putting this here as another data point. Most of the times being treated differently was just other people being scared of talking English and avoiding me, but that usually fixed itself when they realize I speak Japanese. Unrelated, but I think a lot of the foreigners in Tokyo are oversensitive to racism because they have never experienced looking different in their own country - that leads itself to interpreting all kinds of tiny acts as racist when something doesn't go the way they want. But in reality many of the acts have a different cause behind them, like the insecurity of the other person. EDIT: Clarification
- seanmcdirmid 5y ago
  Do snack bars in any Japanese town/city allow foreigners? I mean, I get it, these aren’t places foreigners should be going, but their forbidden nature always raises eyebrows.
  - makotobestgirl 5y ago
    True, I could imagine snacks to be among the places where you have problems going as a foreigner. It probably just depends on the owner. I haven't been to many, so I can't really speak to that. I tried a few times and had no trouble getting in, but I was with Japanese friends. May have been a different story if I had been alone.
    - seanmcdirmid 5y ago
      The ones in resort towns seem to always have “no foreigners” signs in English…I guess to avoid having any awkward denials at all. Seems perfectly legal to not serve foreigners, in any case.
      - 5y ago
jeeeb 5y ago
FWIW. Learning the language (and popular culture) makes a huge difference in the people you’ll meet and how people react to you. I worked in a Japanese company for years and made a number of good friends (of the same gender) who I’m still in contact with, and see whenever I go back. Also the more you learn the language the more chance you’ll have of reaching a role of importance. That’s the same pretty much everywhere though. If people have trouble communicating with you or you cannot express a complex concept then you’ll be bypassed.
rootsudo 5y ago
100% AGree don't learn Japanese from another gender, you will sound effeminate - if you have some standing in the langauge, then it is totally okay - but then there's another side of the stigma/gaijin hunter that use langauge exchange for dating/making kids. But, yeah, using emi (笑） or ww as a guy is a very huge social gaffe if not used sarcastically. You can use it it, but better with close relationships, like really close - and that whole "ne" and up pitch voice also is 100% accurate. With that said, ne, "sou da ne?/そうだね" is acceptable as a guy if it's usually sarcastic or mocking - context: drinks, talking about friends or such - or teasing one another about their gf/wife - 100% acceptable. Doing it at a mall, store, work, no - and they won't tell you! -- For the older timers/gaijin bubble, it depends. I find the older crowd, if they're settled and have a family a huge plus. If they're an English Teacher/in Eikawa, avoid - that sounds rude and cruel, but if someones early 20's and in JET - that's acceptable, if they're mid 40's and trying to play as they're still in their 20's - they may know a few things and such but it's not a good sign usually.
- hattori31 5y ago
  ww or 笑 is absolutely 100% acceptable as a guy. It has never even crossed my mind and a hundred of people I worked with use it. Dont know where did you get this info.

deltaonefour 5y ago

Yeah I don't mind being an outsider too much. Thanks, this is a good answer.

VRay 5y ago
A lot of the foreigners living in Tokyo misinterpret tiny bits of nothing as hostility and racism I'm a big guy, sometimes people make space for me on the train or whatever. It isn't racism. I'm a scary and weird looking guy too by local standards, it isn't racism when people gawk a little sometimes. People talk to me like a kid after I completely botch some basic phrase The only racist thing that ever happened to me in years living there was this: I went to a bar with my white friend, and they said "No American" and made an x sign at us. I asked in Japanese "sorry, what was that you said?" and suddenly they welcomed us in.. I guess they just didn't want rowdy dudes who can't speak the language. Definitely not acceptable behavior from them, but not too bad IMO. I get way worse treatment in the USA for being Hispanic than I ever do for being a foreigner in Japan The expat community in Tokyo is kinda obnoxious. There are a lot of lazy, burned out guys who complain about everything
- seanmcdirmid 5y ago
  > The expat community in Tokyo is kinda obnoxious. There are a lot of lazy, burned out guys who complain about everything How is that unique? Sounds like the expat community in any other Asian city.
- hattori31 5y ago
  Exactly. If you are looking for racism you will find it. If you are looking to get offended you will get offended.

tromp 5y ago

> "gaijin dame" (no foreigners allowed) I recognize the word "dame" from playing the game of Go, where it means [1] a neutral point of no value. Curiously, that page says "It also has the everyday Japanese meanings of bad, don't do it." So foreigners are bad, don't do them :-) [1] https://senseis.xmp.net/?Dame https://senseis.xmp.net/?Dame

yellow_lead 5y ago
It also means "cannot; must not; not allowed "

stanrivers 5y ago

I laughed at your comment about "few (if any) friends of the same gender" I have noticed the same problem. Interesting to hear someone else say that, too. I always thought it was a "native male" thing... women could make native women friends that were only friends. Any native men "friends" were roughly always trying to be slightly more than friends. Men could make native women friends and truly only be friends. Men didn't make friends with many native men, at least beyond superficial relationships...

makotobestgirl 5y ago

> The biggest issues are crowding and racism That's surprising to hear. I have lived in Tokyo a fair amount of time (5+ years) and only experienced true racism, e.g. being not being allowed in a place for being non-Japanese, a handful of times, and those were mostly for what would be considered nighttime establishment that are a bit shady. Not doubting your experience, just putting this here as another data point. Most of the times being treated differently was just other people being scared of talking English and avoiding me, but that usually fixed itself when they realize I speak Japanese. Unrelated, but I think a lot of the foreigners in Tokyo are oversensitive to racism because they have never experienced looking different in their own country - that leads itself to interpreting all kinds of tiny acts as racist when something doesn't go the way they want. But in reality many of the acts have a different cause behind them, like the insecurity of the other person. EDIT: Clarification

seanmcdirmid 5y ago
Do snack bars in any Japanese town/city allow foreigners? I mean, I get it, these aren’t places foreigners should be going, but their forbidden nature always raises eyebrows.
- makotobestgirl 5y ago
  True, I could imagine snacks to be among the places where you have problems going as a foreigner. It probably just depends on the owner. I haven't been to many, so I can't really speak to that. I tried a few times and had no trouble getting in, but I was with Japanese friends. May have been a different story if I had been alone.
  - seanmcdirmid 5y ago
    The ones in resort towns seem to always have “no foreigners” signs in English…I guess to avoid having any awkward denials at all. Seems perfectly legal to not serve foreigners, in any case.
    - 5y ago

jeeeb 5y ago

FWIW. Learning the language (and popular culture) makes a huge difference in the people you’ll meet and how people react to you. I worked in a Japanese company for years and made a number of good friends (of the same gender) who I’m still in contact with, and see whenever I go back. Also the more you learn the language the more chance you’ll have of reaching a role of importance. That’s the same pretty much everywhere though. If people have trouble communicating with you or you cannot express a complex concept then you’ll be bypassed.

rootsudo 5y ago

100% AGree don't learn Japanese from another gender, you will sound effeminate - if you have some standing in the langauge, then it is totally okay - but then there's another side of the stigma/gaijin hunter that use langauge exchange for dating/making kids. But, yeah, using emi (笑） or ww as a guy is a very huge social gaffe if not used sarcastically. You can use it it, but better with close relationships, like really close - and that whole "ne" and up pitch voice also is 100% accurate. With that said, ne, "sou da ne?/そうだね" is acceptable as a guy if it's usually sarcastic or mocking - context: drinks, talking about friends or such - or teasing one another about their gf/wife - 100% acceptable. Doing it at a mall, store, work, no - and they won't tell you! -- For the older timers/gaijin bubble, it depends. I find the older crowd, if they're settled and have a family a huge plus. If they're an English Teacher/in Eikawa, avoid - that sounds rude and cruel, but if someones early 20's and in JET - that's acceptable, if they're mid 40's and trying to play as they're still in their 20's - they may know a few things and such but it's not a good sign usually.

hattori31 5y ago
ww or 笑 is absolutely 100% acceptable as a guy. It has never even crossed my mind and a hundred of people I worked with use it. Dont know where did you get this info.