7 ms·

I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear, and also listened to some process philosophy from Steven West's Philosophize This. One takeaway that I had was on

I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear, and also listened to some process philosophy from Steven West's Philosophize This. One takeaway that I had was on the danger of setting goals. I am trying to build a mindset of 'becoming' or to embrace the journey of the goal rather than really trying to achieve a specific milestone. - I want to reduce/eliminate my alcohol consumption to become a person that doesn't rely on alcohol for social distraction or self-medication. To achieve this I have stopped keeping any alcohol in my home. If I have a drink it will need to be out somewhere and by virtue a 'special occasion'. - I want to improve my work-life balance by setting expectations that I am unavailable after 5pm. I aspire to be someone who can remain a high performer while also finding and following my passions. This year I will continue to shape those passions. There is no real milestone that I feel I need to set.

Aeolun 5y ago
Someone told me they set a meeting from 6pm till 9am next morning on their calendar (Outlook) that was marked as “Out of Office”. I didn’t know you could do that, but without fail, their online status switches to OOO at 6pm. I think it’s really good for setting expectations.
- wheelinsupial 5y ago
  You should be able to set your working hours in Outlook. You specify days of the week and start and stop time. In your calendar when people look to book meetings in times outside of your office hours the time will be grey or some other shade. My notifications in Teams and Outlook stop coming to my phone in my off hours. You may need to go to the phone settings and change notifications to say do not notify outside of work hours or something similar.
qorrect 5y ago
I like the idea of pushing the journey to the forefront. My new year is trying to be more in the present and not take for granted the blessings I have. * Congrats on removing alcohol from the home thats a big first step, keep that one aspiration and I think it'll have a profound impact. Not trying to push this at all , but CBD ( delta8 ) helped me with the cravings ( its kind of like the side effect of smoking weed, you're relaxed and somewhat sleepy but not 'stoned' ).
- wholinator2 5y ago
  I will add, CBD and Delta8 are very different things. CBD is not like smoking weed, it's just relaxing and I believe what the parent is referencing. Delta8 can (and usually does) contain Delta8-THC, which is far more psychoactive than CBD (its purpose is to be a legal alternative to regular weed, its made to be as close as possible). Now, if you wanna actually smoke weed you can get weed that contains very low Delta9-THC (Delta9 is weed as we've known it for decades) with high CBD that will not get you (very) high. I don't even know if Delta8-CBD exists but if you go somewhere and ask for delta8, it's going to get you high and potentially be very not relaxing. If you ask for CBD specifically, it will not be highly psychoactive. Just be careful out there these days, it's only getting more confusing and marketing heavy.
aserdf 5y ago
> I want to reduce/eliminate my alcohol consumption... same here. each year it just takes more and more out of me physically/mentally, this year really seemed to emphasize that. looking for 6 months here and then will re-evaluate. in the past breaking a sweat when the urge/opportunity arises has been pretty effective.
- AAthrowaway 5y ago
  I have found AA and the community as a whole welcoming. I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life try to “control” my drinking. Not drinking on work nights, staying sober for months at a time but I always found myself down that slippery slope. The pandemic and work from home made it 1000% times worse. I didn’t have to shower or commute. I’d roll out of bed login, do standup and start drinking. It never affected my work. I’ve always gotten rave reviews. AA has changed my life in regards to family, physical well being and work. YMMV but if you’re interested the AA site has pdf versions and audio versions of the big book. The big book was an interesting read for sure.
  - faddypaddy34 5y ago
    I second this. The AA program is also about way more then not drinking and if followed is life changing.
- MissionInfl 5y ago
  To provide an alternate solution to the one already mentioned, I used a modern medicine approach to alcohol use disorder called The Sinclair Method. The tl;dr is that you continue to drink using an opioid antagonist (usually Naltrexone) which blocks the endorphins rewards from consuming alcohol and eventually you just stop caring about it. For more information, see https://www.reddit.com/r/Alcoholism_Medication/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Alcoholism_Medication/, or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts, or https://www.dropbox.com/s/60fs7gmvbyzs1kk/Cure%20for%20Alcoholism.pdf?dl=0 https://www.dropbox.com/s/60fs7gmvbyzs1kk/Cure%20for%20Alcoh... (warning: large pdf)
- cesnja 5y ago
revorad 5y ago
Ever since I came across this concept of focusing on habits/systems instead of goals, I've been confused. Surely we need both? Ali Abdaal expressed this well in this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rkRC728rIU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rkRC728rIU I wish you all the best in your journey!
- PatentlyDC123 5y ago
  I think the concept is focusing on performing/developing the habits/systems required to achieve longer term goals. Kind of like focusing on what you can do today with what you have on hand for a project rather than focusing on finishing the whole project. For example, a goal under these guidelines might be "lose 10 lbs by July." The goal wouldn't be, "go to the gym 3x per week," or "eat X, Y, Z protein, carbs, and fat grams per meal." Those would be habits/systems to achieve the weight loss goal.
  - nomadiccoder 5y ago
    The goal in your example effectively becomes: become a person that is physically fit, dietary conscious. The lose 10lbs is like a side effect.
Kelamir 5y ago
I and my SO have found that identity based habits work out way better. I recommend it
- cinntaile 5y ago
  Can you explain what identity based habits are?
  - drekipus 5y ago
    Taking a guess, it could be taking the identity "I want not a person that drinks alcohol" etc
  - Kelamir 5y ago
    I learned about it in a book by James Clear. See his article https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits ED: I must add that my comment support's parent's post, for they talked about identity based habits as well.
BigHatLogan 5y ago
I really like this idea of "becoming" / "embracing" versus trying to achieve a specific end. As the adage goes, it's all about the journey, not the destination. I'm trying to do something similar. I have this terrible habit--that I suspect many, many people also do--of thinking that "future me" will be far more capable than present me, that in one year I'll be less anxious, more courageous, less fearful, more outgoing, etc. (On a smaller time scale, people who struggle with kicking bad habits do the same thing, myself included. I will tell myself, "starting tomorrow, I will once and for all stop {drinking too much soda, eating too much}!" Tomorrow-Me is Hercules, with the willpower of Zeus and the indomitable spirit of a world-class athlete. Of course I end up spending tomorrow drinking soda like a fish drinks water, only to tell myself that "tomorrow will be different.") Inevitably what ends up happening is that one year from then I'm still the same person, and all I have done is kick the can down the road on so many opportunities--the party I didn't go to because I didn't know anyone; the lunch I made an excuse to skip because I was embarrassed that my old friends were farther along in life than I was (whatever that even means); the interview I turned down because I "wasn't ready yet." While doing these things, I told myself that some indefinite period from now, I'll be this perfect human who is ready to do all of those things, and that right now I'm a flawed person who isn't ready to do those things just yet. But that perfect human never came to be, and the flawed human is what remains. It's tautological to say this, but nothing changes if nothing changes. I won't be magically courageous or outgoing one year from now if I don't actually embrace the nervous and shy person that I am today. And I hope that if I embrace it, accept that I'll fall and stumble, and try to make little progress along the way, then one year from now I can look back and say, "I'm still not a perfect human and never will be, but I'm satisfied that I did ___."
zikduruqe 5y ago
> I want to reduce/eliminate my alcohol consumption... Tonight at midnight will be my 9th year alcohol free. For me personally, it has been wonderful not to depend on alcohol. No matter what you do, just take it one day at a time and best of luck.
alex_cavalcante 5y ago
Steven West podcast is amazing!
RickJWagner 5y ago
Count me among the many ex-drinkers here. I had a sip of champagne about 10 years ago, prior to that my last drink was probably around 2002 or so. I don't miss it a bit. Stopping drinking is one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Aeolun 5y ago

Someone told me they set a meeting from 6pm till 9am next morning on their calendar (Outlook) that was marked as “Out of Office”. I didn’t know you could do that, but without fail, their online status switches to OOO at 6pm. I think it’s really good for setting expectations.

wheelinsupial 5y ago
You should be able to set your working hours in Outlook. You specify days of the week and start and stop time. In your calendar when people look to book meetings in times outside of your office hours the time will be grey or some other shade. My notifications in Teams and Outlook stop coming to my phone in my off hours. You may need to go to the phone settings and change notifications to say do not notify outside of work hours or something similar.

qorrect 5y ago

I like the idea of pushing the journey to the forefront. My new year is trying to be more in the present and not take for granted the blessings I have. * Congrats on removing alcohol from the home thats a big first step, keep that one aspiration and I think it'll have a profound impact. Not trying to push this at all , but CBD ( delta8 ) helped me with the cravings ( its kind of like the side effect of smoking weed, you're relaxed and somewhat sleepy but not 'stoned' ).

wholinator2 5y ago
I will add, CBD and Delta8 are very different things. CBD is not like smoking weed, it's just relaxing and I believe what the parent is referencing. Delta8 can (and usually does) contain Delta8-THC, which is far more psychoactive than CBD (its purpose is to be a legal alternative to regular weed, its made to be as close as possible). Now, if you wanna actually smoke weed you can get weed that contains very low Delta9-THC (Delta9 is weed as we've known it for decades) with high CBD that will not get you (very) high. I don't even know if Delta8-CBD exists but if you go somewhere and ask for delta8, it's going to get you high and potentially be very not relaxing. If you ask for CBD specifically, it will not be highly psychoactive. Just be careful out there these days, it's only getting more confusing and marketing heavy.

aserdf 5y ago

> I want to reduce/eliminate my alcohol consumption... same here. each year it just takes more and more out of me physically/mentally, this year really seemed to emphasize that. looking for 6 months here and then will re-evaluate. in the past breaking a sweat when the urge/opportunity arises has been pretty effective.

AAthrowaway 5y ago
I have found AA and the community as a whole welcoming. I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life try to “control” my drinking. Not drinking on work nights, staying sober for months at a time but I always found myself down that slippery slope. The pandemic and work from home made it 1000% times worse. I didn’t have to shower or commute. I’d roll out of bed login, do standup and start drinking. It never affected my work. I’ve always gotten rave reviews. AA has changed my life in regards to family, physical well being and work. YMMV but if you’re interested the AA site has pdf versions and audio versions of the big book. The big book was an interesting read for sure.
- faddypaddy34 5y ago
  I second this. The AA program is also about way more then not drinking and if followed is life changing.
MissionInfl 5y ago
To provide an alternate solution to the one already mentioned, I used a modern medicine approach to alcohol use disorder called The Sinclair Method. The tl;dr is that you continue to drink using an opioid antagonist (usually Naltrexone) which blocks the endorphins rewards from consuming alcohol and eventually you just stop caring about it. For more information, see https://www.reddit.com/r/Alcoholism_Medication/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Alcoholism_Medication/, or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts, or https://www.dropbox.com/s/60fs7gmvbyzs1kk/Cure%20for%20Alcoholism.pdf?dl=0 https://www.dropbox.com/s/60fs7gmvbyzs1kk/Cure%20for%20Alcoh... (warning: large pdf)
cesnja 5y ago

revorad 5y ago

Ever since I came across this concept of focusing on habits/systems instead of goals, I've been confused. Surely we need both? Ali Abdaal expressed this well in this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rkRC728rIU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rkRC728rIU I wish you all the best in your journey!

PatentlyDC123 5y ago
I think the concept is focusing on performing/developing the habits/systems required to achieve longer term goals. Kind of like focusing on what you can do today with what you have on hand for a project rather than focusing on finishing the whole project. For example, a goal under these guidelines might be "lose 10 lbs by July." The goal wouldn't be, "go to the gym 3x per week," or "eat X, Y, Z protein, carbs, and fat grams per meal." Those would be habits/systems to achieve the weight loss goal.
- nomadiccoder 5y ago
  The goal in your example effectively becomes: become a person that is physically fit, dietary conscious. The lose 10lbs is like a side effect.

Kelamir 5y ago

I and my SO have found that identity based habits work out way better. I recommend it

cinntaile 5y ago
Can you explain what identity based habits are?
- drekipus 5y ago
  Taking a guess, it could be taking the identity "I want not a person that drinks alcohol" etc
- Kelamir 5y ago
  I learned about it in a book by James Clear. See his article https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits ED: I must add that my comment support's parent's post, for they talked about identity based habits as well.

BigHatLogan 5y ago

I really like this idea of "becoming" / "embracing" versus trying to achieve a specific end. As the adage goes, it's all about the journey, not the destination. I'm trying to do something similar. I have this terrible habit--that I suspect many, many people also do--of thinking that "future me" will be far more capable than present me, that in one year I'll be less anxious, more courageous, less fearful, more outgoing, etc. (On a smaller time scale, people who struggle with kicking bad habits do the same thing, myself included. I will tell myself, "starting tomorrow, I will once and for all stop {drinking too much soda, eating too much}!" Tomorrow-Me is Hercules, with the willpower of Zeus and the indomitable spirit of a world-class athlete. Of course I end up spending tomorrow drinking soda like a fish drinks water, only to tell myself that "tomorrow will be different.") Inevitably what ends up happening is that one year from then I'm still the same person, and all I have done is kick the can down the road on so many opportunities--the party I didn't go to because I didn't know anyone; the lunch I made an excuse to skip because I was embarrassed that my old friends were farther along in life than I was (whatever that even means); the interview I turned down because I "wasn't ready yet." While doing these things, I told myself that some indefinite period from now, I'll be this perfect human who is ready to do all of those things, and that right now I'm a flawed person who isn't ready to do those things just yet. But that perfect human never came to be, and the flawed human is what remains. It's tautological to say this, but nothing changes if nothing changes. I won't be magically courageous or outgoing one year from now if I don't actually embrace the nervous and shy person that I am today. And I hope that if I embrace it, accept that I'll fall and stumble, and try to make little progress along the way, then one year from now I can look back and say, "I'm still not a perfect human and never will be, but I'm satisfied that I did ___."

zikduruqe 5y ago

> I want to reduce/eliminate my alcohol consumption... Tonight at midnight will be my 9th year alcohol free. For me personally, it has been wonderful not to depend on alcohol. No matter what you do, just take it one day at a time and best of luck.

alex_cavalcante 5y ago

Steven West podcast is amazing!

RickJWagner 5y ago

Count me among the many ex-drinkers here. I had a sip of champagne about 10 years ago, prior to that my last drink was probably around 2002 or so. I don't miss it a bit. Stopping drinking is one of the best decisions I've ever made.