4 ms·

I’ve often wondered how my career would have turned out different if I’d learned to love learning earlier rather than being forced into it. With a baby daughter

I’ve often wondered how my career would have turned out different if I’d learned to love learning earlier rather than being forced into it. With a baby daughter I hope I can keep an eye out for some of these flags.

amelius 5y ago
I wonder how ideas like this oscillate through generations, as one generation imposes them on the next, and the next forgets.
- tartoran 5y ago
  Yes, that’s a good point. Plenty of forcefully disciplined do 180 on their kids and give them complete freedoms.
PragmaticPulp 5y ago
As a parent I also ponder such things frequently. I grew up with a lot of family friends who chose a hands-off or more “fun” approach to learning for their kids, while downplaying rigid formal education. I can’t think of a single case where this resulted in a natural love of learning or a natural self-discipline. I do know a significant number of people in this cluster who grew up to embrace things like alternative medicine, MLMs, and even conspiracy theories, though. I think the reality is that self-discipline and academic learning is something that benefits greatly from teaching and coaching, even if it can be uncomfortable or un-fun at times. I also don’t think it’s helpful to try to make everything as enjoyable, fun, or comfortable as possible for kids. Some amount of struggle (though not too much) is healthy for building resiliency and persistence. I grew up with a number of people who’s parents stepped in and made everything easy or comfortable for them at every step of the way, and as adults they tend to crumble when faced with the slightest adversity or stress. It’s hard to re-learn self discipline and self control as an adult.
- inter_netuser 5y ago
  >family friends who chose a hands-off or more “fun” approach to learning for their kids >alternative medicine, MLMs, and even conspiracy theories, though. This is just trait openness in action. Have considered the obvious, they are their parents children? I know several families with strong OCD tendencies, maybe even clinical idk, and their discipline, follow up, attention to detail and organization is absolutely mindboggling. I'm talking washrooms cleaner than operating rooms. Probably in top 0.01%, def above 0.5%. None of them learned or were taught, it's just the entire family is the same way, even small kids. They also sleep 4-5 hours habitually, nobody uses alarm clocks, everyone up by 5am. Genetics is VERY real.
- research_studio 5y ago
  I’m not out to make things comfortable and easy for my kid as I agree that can foster the wrong attitude to tough situations. Worthwhile things are often difficult. I more meant that I didn’t respond particularly well to formal schooling and it took me years to learn how to learn and if there’s a shorter route towards that it would probably benefit my daughter if she’s similar to me in that way.
- watwut 5y ago
  > I can’t think of a single case where this resulted in a natural love of learning or a natural self-discipline. I do know such people. And also self disciplined kids from normal schools. It does not seem to me that fun learning ends up with undisciplined people.

amelius 5y ago

I wonder how ideas like this oscillate through generations, as one generation imposes them on the next, and the next forgets.

tartoran 5y ago
Yes, that’s a good point. Plenty of forcefully disciplined do 180 on their kids and give them complete freedoms.

PragmaticPulp 5y ago

As a parent I also ponder such things frequently. I grew up with a lot of family friends who chose a hands-off or more “fun” approach to learning for their kids, while downplaying rigid formal education. I can’t think of a single case where this resulted in a natural love of learning or a natural self-discipline. I do know a significant number of people in this cluster who grew up to embrace things like alternative medicine, MLMs, and even conspiracy theories, though. I think the reality is that self-discipline and academic learning is something that benefits greatly from teaching and coaching, even if it can be uncomfortable or un-fun at times. I also don’t think it’s helpful to try to make everything as enjoyable, fun, or comfortable as possible for kids. Some amount of struggle (though not too much) is healthy for building resiliency and persistence. I grew up with a number of people who’s parents stepped in and made everything easy or comfortable for them at every step of the way, and as adults they tend to crumble when faced with the slightest adversity or stress. It’s hard to re-learn self discipline and self control as an adult.

inter_netuser 5y ago
>family friends who chose a hands-off or more “fun” approach to learning for their kids >alternative medicine, MLMs, and even conspiracy theories, though. This is just trait openness in action. Have considered the obvious, they are their parents children? I know several families with strong OCD tendencies, maybe even clinical idk, and their discipline, follow up, attention to detail and organization is absolutely mindboggling. I'm talking washrooms cleaner than operating rooms. Probably in top 0.01%, def above 0.5%. None of them learned or were taught, it's just the entire family is the same way, even small kids. They also sleep 4-5 hours habitually, nobody uses alarm clocks, everyone up by 5am. Genetics is VERY real.
research_studio 5y ago
I’m not out to make things comfortable and easy for my kid as I agree that can foster the wrong attitude to tough situations. Worthwhile things are often difficult. I more meant that I didn’t respond particularly well to formal schooling and it took me years to learn how to learn and if there’s a shorter route towards that it would probably benefit my daughter if she’s similar to me in that way.
watwut 5y ago
> I can’t think of a single case where this resulted in a natural love of learning or a natural self-discipline. I do know such people. And also self disciplined kids from normal schools. It does not seem to me that fun learning ends up with undisciplined people.