4 ms·

it feels like only 5–7 years ago this assertion was 100% taboo and you wouldn't hear it anywhere but male sexual advice circles, which naturally meant that ther

it feels like only 5–7 years ago this assertion was 100% taboo and you wouldn't hear it anywhere but male sexual advice circles, which naturally meant that there was a certain stigma attached to said assertion. it also feels like this was entirely common knowledge at some point in the recent past, maybe only a few decades ago, yet I was raised to be entirely ignorant of it and I know I'm not alone. as a young, then-virgin, then-sexually-frustrated man, coming across knowledge like this felt like learning important, key rules to the game you're playing halfway through, while people are screaming that these rules weren't actually in the game anymore, because they never should have been in the game to begin with, and that's why nobody told you. now it's the top-voted comment on a top story on the front page of a website whose average community views would certainly not be described as "traditional" or "conservative" ...yet here we are. it's very interesting to observe shifts in acceptable discourse and society in general within the span of my lifetime. who knows where we're headed next?

adventured 5y ago
Women have gotten dramatically more powerful within the US culture in the past 30-40 years. Versus men they're more highly educated, they have higher literacy rates, they drop out of school at lower rates, they live longer, and under the age of roughly 40 they now out-earn men while working fewer hours (and that will continue to spread upwards into the older age bracket; aging-out older male corporate management types and other white collar professionals (eg doctors, dentists) are the only thing holding that in place for now). I'd expect the present trend to continue for at least another 10-20 years, with a large gap being created between the well-being of the median & average man and woman in the US (in the favor of women). The potent education, employment and income trends alone practically guarantee that outcome. Not much is being done to correct the growing imbalance, so by the time there is enough widespread cultural give-a-shit at a large scale, the gap will be substantial and it'll take a long time to correct (if it can be corrected for given the labor automation employment dynamics that are inbound). The trend will make competent men that have something going for them, that much more valuable. As more men fall behind, men that don't gain value by scarcity.
- bilirubin 5y ago
  Do you have a source for the "out-earning" claim?
vidarh 5y ago
Someone writing advice in a major Norwegian newspaper got into "trouble" for making this argument in their advice column a while back. Part of the problem is that it's hard to express this in a way that doesn't feel like an attack on women and avoiding coming across as an entitled attitude when expressed by men. But it's also getting really hard to ignore that there's a disconnect - for both many men and women - between what they believe their "value" is and what their value is in the eyes of prospective partners.

adventured 5y ago

Women have gotten dramatically more powerful within the US culture in the past 30-40 years. Versus men they're more highly educated, they have higher literacy rates, they drop out of school at lower rates, they live longer, and under the age of roughly 40 they now out-earn men while working fewer hours (and that will continue to spread upwards into the older age bracket; aging-out older male corporate management types and other white collar professionals (eg doctors, dentists) are the only thing holding that in place for now). I'd expect the present trend to continue for at least another 10-20 years, with a large gap being created between the well-being of the median & average man and woman in the US (in the favor of women). The potent education, employment and income trends alone practically guarantee that outcome. Not much is being done to correct the growing imbalance, so by the time there is enough widespread cultural give-a-shit at a large scale, the gap will be substantial and it'll take a long time to correct (if it can be corrected for given the labor automation employment dynamics that are inbound). The trend will make competent men that have something going for them, that much more valuable. As more men fall behind, men that don't gain value by scarcity.

bilirubin 5y ago
Do you have a source for the "out-earning" claim?

vidarh 5y ago

Someone writing advice in a major Norwegian newspaper got into "trouble" for making this argument in their advice column a while back. Part of the problem is that it's hard to express this in a way that doesn't feel like an attack on women and avoiding coming across as an entitled attitude when expressed by men. But it's also getting really hard to ignore that there's a disconnect - for both many men and women - between what they believe their "value" is and what their value is in the eyes of prospective partners.