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A few people I've spoken with who "broke out" of this mentality credit Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/

A few people I've spoken with who "broke out" of this mentality credit Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021 https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/03458... Here's a quick video (12 min video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApC0faRYabI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApC0faRYabI I suspect his lectures, books, etc are likely more in depth. I personally haven't read it much, but am aware of the rules. At the end of the day, you have to just get moving. One thing I've found helpful is selecting objectives, often physical ones. Go to the gym every day, take a 1-hour walk. Brush your teeth, shower, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. Make a list and hold yourself to account, get a star chart and show progress. From there you can build. Life needs objectives, you have to decide who and what you want to be, but start at some basics -- "I want to bench 180lbs" or "I want to complete my list for a full week". It may sound strange, but when people are in that state, the hardest thing in the world is getting started. If you miss a day, fine. Don't make an excuse you have to keep going. Eventually, you form habits and the more you form, the more robust and resilient you are. If you miss a couple activities for a day or two it wont be the end of the world. Just keep your life moving and pick them back up. After you can do that and you accomplish a few objectives, I think you can / should start thinking of longer goals, 2 -3 years out and just keep building. At the end of the day, this isn't a journey for anyone but yourself.

obviouslyfake 5y ago
I've read that book and have recommended it myself Yet i feel too anxious to go out of my comfort zone
- lettergram 5y ago
  I've expanded my comment, but generally -- set physical goals. Build strength, physique, and in turn ego. Seems to help people I know with anxiety if they know they "look good" But at the end of the day, you have to get out of your comfort zone. That's hard, very hard. But once you force yourself into situations out of your comfort zone a few times it'll become a habit as well.
nnoitra 5y ago
JP is great for people that have some basis of peace and joy in their lives. It will do nothing for people that don't have that baseline.
- lettergram 5y ago
  people with no baseline really have to start by building hobbies. I do believe Peterson discusses that, I’ve seen something attributed to him along the lines: “every day try to pick up the heaviest thing you can” That said, I’m not super familiar. I think generally habit building is what I’ve seen work and be recommended. Also join a community and say you need help. That’s effectively what churches are well positioned to assist with.
spurgu 5y ago
Here's a great video going over the same concepts but in a humorous way. 7 ways to maximize misery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

obviouslyfake 5y ago

I've read that book and have recommended it myself Yet i feel too anxious to go out of my comfort zone

lettergram 5y ago
I've expanded my comment, but generally -- set physical goals. Build strength, physique, and in turn ego. Seems to help people I know with anxiety if they know they "look good" But at the end of the day, you have to get out of your comfort zone. That's hard, very hard. But once you force yourself into situations out of your comfort zone a few times it'll become a habit as well.

nnoitra 5y ago

JP is great for people that have some basis of peace and joy in their lives. It will do nothing for people that don't have that baseline.

lettergram 5y ago
people with no baseline really have to start by building hobbies. I do believe Peterson discusses that, I’ve seen something attributed to him along the lines: “every day try to pick up the heaviest thing you can” That said, I’m not super familiar. I think generally habit building is what I’ve seen work and be recommended. Also join a community and say you need help. That’s effectively what churches are well positioned to assist with.

spurgu 5y ago

Here's a great video going over the same concepts but in a humorous way. 7 ways to maximize misery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o