5 ms·
Macabre tangent warning. Related to this, and having seen several cases where elderly people had very unhappy end years for various reasons (dementia, incapaci
by foobarian 5y ago
Macabre tangent warning. Related to this, and having seen several cases where elderly people had very unhappy end years for various reasons (dementia, incapacity, etc.) I am starting to wonder not for our parents bur for myself - how could I make sure I don't live past the point where I stop adding value and become a drain. It's an interesting engineering problem. Presumably this would be when I lose mental capacity to make certain decisions, so it would need to be some kind of automated dead-man switch type mechanism, that is undetectable so the descendants can have a warm and fuzzy "grandpa went in his sleep" type experience, instead of "grandpa hung himself" or "grandpa pressed the accelerator instead of brake by accident."
Maybe an implant that needs to be re-armed every month or so, and if not it releases some toxin that causes a natural-seeming shutdown. Or ironclad ream of paperwork to make sure plugs get pulled.
- czbond 5y agoBuild strength by middle age, eat nutritious foods, move daily for 30-60 minutes in a large capacity, keep the brain occupied, be social, intermittent fast to remove weight which builds up. They all need to be started earlier in life to create them as muscle memory habits, rather than "motivational habits" in old age. As one ages, body parts hurt, which demotivates people from moving, which adds weight, etc. Couple that with the potential loneliness and isolation that can cause depression - old age takes more extrinsic and intrinsic motivation than being a youth.
- criddell 5y agoGreat advice. You won't have to worry about the things the person you responded to until your 90's rather than your 70's. It's still worth thinking about. My dad is in his 70's and is dealing with Lewy Body Dementia. It's terrible. If I start showing the symptoms, I'm definitely going to take control of my own death. Quality of life is far more important to me than quantity of life.
- jlawson 5y agoRobin Williams got Lewy Body. I guess he decided to take the same door you're looking at. I would too.
- tonyedgecombe 5y agoHe didn't know that, it was diagnosed as Parkinson's. He also had addiction problems, depression and anxiety as well as heart issues.
- nradov 5y agoGenerally good advice but intermittent fasting is not recommended for patients suffering from sarcopenia (skeletal muscle wasting). This is a hidden epidemic among the elderly and seriously increases the risk of falls or otherwise losing mobility.
- thesuitonym 5y agoAssisted suicide is becoming more accepted as an option for the elderly. I suspect that some day it will be as normal our current options for extending life. I for one would rather die on my own time, surrounded by family when my quality of life declines, rather than clinging on to a miserable existence.
- clpm4j 5y agoI've had this discussion with friends many times, and I do hope it becomes legal and socially acceptable (I know it is legal in some places, but not widely). I find it ridiculous that we come into this world through no choice of our own, but we can't leave it when and how we want without resorting to some horrific or painful action. Medically assisted suicide should be a basic human right in my opinion.
- ska 5y agoOne unfortunate aspect of this that while some jurisdictions have this available, they are sticky with informed consent on day of. As a result people will sometimes opt for this months, even years before they really needed to, because of the fear of dementia or similar taking the choice away.
- panzagl 5y ago'stop adding value'? WTF.
- mlyle 5y agoReally, a huge part of my quality of life is knowing that I'm doing stuff that makes the world better in various ways-- offsetting some of the ways I make it worse and the resources I use. When I am not able to do this anymore--- what's the point?
- JshWright 5y agoGeorge Eastman (founder of Kodak) left the following note explaining his decision to take his own life (at the age of 77, after several years of failing health and chronic pain). "To my friends, my work is done – Why wait? GE."
- quesera 5y agoThis is a reasonable concern for oneself, if not a reasonable criticism of others.
- criddell 5y agoOutside of HN that would probably be phrased as 'become a burden on my family'.
- panzagl 5y agoSo my father-in-law passed away from dementia recently so I've been thinking about this a lot. Some family members could not be arsed (to borrow a phrase) to really care for him over the last several years, and from their viewpoint he was a burden. Some could, though, and to them he wasn't a burden, but a way to express their love. And looking back his long decline of course had a negative effect on a lot of people, but I don't know if it would have been any less negative had he put a bullet in his brain 5 years ago.
- criddell 5y ago
- germinalphrase 5y agoStart wingsuit gliding an the problem will take care of itself
- alanlammiman 5y agoI have seriously thought about leaving a bucket list of expensive & risky stuff for when I'm old (why not take up motor racing, acrobatic flying, sailing around the world at 75?) but whenever I bring this up my gf is horrified.
- tonyedgecombe 5y agoThe trouble with that stuff is you are much more likely to end up an invalid rather than kill yourself. You are then even more of a burden on people around you and less able to control the final outcome.
- alanlammiman 5y agowhich is why I suggested things with big motors and high speeds; if things go wrong they go really wrong
- Syzygies 5y agoAfter watching our father die from advanced dementia, my brother established instructions that no one is to feed him. If he can't bring a spoon to his mouth unassisted, he would like to stop eating. He works at a hospital, so I believe that he understands how to do this in a legally binding way. This tempts me to leave similar instructions if I can't cook for myself.
- sefrost 5y agoWill he starve to death?
- Syzygies 5y agoThat's his hope. He doesn't want to live as our father did.
- JshWright 5y agoEveryone, regardless of current age or ability, should absolutely have advanced directives in place outlining what they want done (or not done) to prolong their life. Talk to your doctor about filling out the appropriate paperwork. Even if you want everything humanly possible done, it's best to document it, and keep that document up to date (check in with your doctor every few years to see if what you want has changed). I'm 37, and in good health. I have outlined the (pretty limited) scope of advanced care I would want in the event I became incapacitated, and have a designated healthcare proxy that I trust to make decisions consistent with my wishes.
- nradov 5y agoSuch advance directives aren't completely legally binding, and rely on family and caregivers respecting his wishes. If your brother is mentally incapacitated and his next-of-kin asks a healthcare facility to put in a feeding tube then they'll probably do it.
- foobarian 5y agoThis is exactly what I am afraid of.