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My advice for anyone going through a difficult time with a partner or anyone really would be to talk to a therapist. That is what they are there for. You can
by sjg007 5y ago
My advice for anyone going through a difficult time with a partner or anyone really would be to talk to a therapist. That is what they are there for.
You can only influence and change one person and that person is you. Focus on yourself. You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness.
There are some practical skills to learn too like the five secrets of communication.
But you don't have to suffer and take the stress. Is the relationship worth your heart attack?
- throwaway_sjfgd 5y agoWould I be correct in guessing that you have not faced such a situation yourself? My motivation for asking -- What you wrote is advice inexperienced people commonly give. It's nothing that those facing the challenge would not already know. Having faced the challenge, I see several flaws / loose ends in your advice, and would recommend you or anyone reading the same to be watch out, and do your best to learn from the experiences of people who have gone through. Keep in mind that if one is not facing the challenge, it need not be because of some special skill or wisdom they may have, but just because of chance, and vice versa.
- sjg007 5y agoThis idea of a challenge is all in your mind. You can choose suffering or choose to be present.
- throwaway_sjfgd 5y agoI do not think that's so trivial or 'binary' like it is often stated. Someone had asked a related question on the same OP thread: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29240007 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29240007 My response is here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29240601 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29240601
- yownie 5y agoThis is an incredibly patronizing statement to make, whether or not you realize it.