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Continuing in a separate comment: Advise for you and others: * Use social and legal provisions towards your own favor as much as possible whatever those are -
by throwaway_sjfgd 5y ago
Continuing in a separate comment:
Advise for you and others:
* Use social and legal provisions towards your own favor as much as possible whatever those are -- live-in relationships, friends with benefits, getting to know each other well upfront, pre-nuptial agreements, etc.
* Keep an escape route. E.g., keep finances strictly separate.
* Read 'good' books on how all this works, like on psychology of love relationships, parenting, divorce, etc.
* Need timely action as and when it is becoming bad and timely quitting. Don't go by the common guidance received which rests on inexperience and biases. Look at the statsistics and make good judgment calls. I have come across books on this too. Books sometimes give better advise than professional help (whether psychologists or lawyers) as the book author has no more ongoing vested interest once the book is sold.
In a nutshell, love yourself more than your life partner, and don't let your judgment be clouded. Read good books to build your judgment from the experiences of others.
- Dracophoenix 5y agoAny particular recommendations in the books you've read?
- throwaway_sjfgd 5y agoI had found some good ones in a local library and had read them there itself while taking off from work without telling my spouse. There was no opportunity for me take these home for reading and nor create any electronic record. Life was just too tough, as you can see. Here are some recommendations. Only the first one qualifies as a 'particular' one. 1. Human Relationships, Steve Duck. I had read the first edition and found it very insightful. 2. Another one that was very helpful was focussed on when it is the time to quit. I have linked a few similar ones below. The one I had read had a quiz after each chapter. I recall that for the first one, it said that a score of 3 out of 10 indicates your the situation is nearing borderline. (My score was 8, i.e. well past.) 3. There were several on the topic of divorce. These often include advice on the above as well. 4. There was one on how children react to such situations. I had also read some that talked about how to save the marriage, etc. For item 2 above: Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships https://www.amazon.com/Stay-Go-Ruths-Rules-Relationships-ebook/dp/B072JZ9KXY/ https://www.amazon.com/Stay-Go-Ruths-Rules-Relationships-ebo... Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Surviving-Relationship-Narcissist/dp/168261333X/ https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Surviving-Relationship-Na... Should I Stay Or Go? https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Go-Controlled-Separation/dp/0809225131/ https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Go-Controlled-Separation/...