4 ms·

What would be the alternative to lying?

bryanrasmussen 5y ago
well the alternative to lying would be that both partners know they can't stand each other but are remaining together for the sake of the children, I figure once you are at that point of remaining together for the sake of the children and nothing else probably both parties know the score.
- kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
  What if your (ex) partner takes the children away with them? You can't be sure that they also consider staying together for the children to be the best course of action.
  - thriftwy 5y ago
    Obviosly you are trying to take something that is not yours. Getting a five finger discount to get (unilaterally) open relationship at a cost of regular one.
    - kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
      What do you mean? I don't understand anything of what you are saying? What am I trying to take that isn't mine? (And why me, I am not the OP)? What is a five finger discount?
      - thriftwy 5y ago
        Five finger discount is when you steal. The condition of staying in good relations with your wife where she does not take the children and blast off is not having a romantic life on the side. You understand this condition but try to get around it by lying. Not because it is unfair or impossible. Just because you want to have good things without paying for them.
        throwaway211116 5y ago
        I find your stance to be incredibly naive and (yes I will use the word) sexist. Are you claiming that having an affair is the ONLY reason a woman might leave a relationship. Do you truly believe that as long as you do not f** someone else she should be chained to you? Do you truly believe that is all that is necessary for maintaining a relationship? You do not even realize the implications of what you are saying. If the only way a woman would be allowed to divorce was if the man cheated, that means that the optimum strategy for a woman in a bad relationship wanting to end it would be to make the life of the man hell and push him towards an affair. Of course, this would only be possible in the absence of the possibility of domestic violence directed towards the woman. I am a man, european and I am NOT a progressive, but viewpoints like yours truly make me see that some of the most extreme and angry fringes of (in this case, feminism) might have a point. Your viewpoint is so narrow, it dehumanizes women. This american style puritanism (and the hypocrisy embedded inside it - statistically, places where this view is wider spread are also places with a higher percentage of offenders) is truly baffling.
        thriftwy 5y ago
        You thought all of that by yourself. There are a lot of ways to breach a "contract" that is marriage, including a voluntary termination. However, being unfaithful is a good way to ruin your marriage, so if it means things to you please don't cheat your wife, unless explicitly being on different terms (and even then...). This one is totally reasonable. It does not grant you any protection for the other cases, though.
        throwaway211116 5y ago
        You claim I made that up. Then lets analyze your comment. > The condition of staying in good relations with your wife You do not say "one of", you say "the". > where she does not take the children and blast off You define having "good relations" as merely "she does not take the children and blast off". > is not having a romantic life on the side. Define romantic. Actually, also define cheating. Where is the boundary. Do not wiggle out of this. You made a crap comment. If it is not what you believe than amend it, but don't claim it is not stating what it is obviously stating. As for your last comment: I never claimed that "being unfaithful is a good way to ruin your marriage" is not true. I put you on the spot because your comment claimed that is all that matters. Also, voluntary termination of a contract is not breach of contract. And while granted, having the initiative is beneficial in a divorce, depending on the culture and jurisdiction, the outcome of "the women taking the children" may have the same probability. Also, this assumes, the case of a male in a hetero relationship, being the one who cheats. I find all variants of cheating (man on woman, woman on man, woman on woman, man on man, etc.) equally plausible. Up until your comment there was no assumption on the genders of the partners. Your comment assigned genders to the cheater and the cheated.

well the alternative to lying would be that both partners know they can't stand each other but are remaining together for the sake of the children, I figure once you are at that point of remaining together for the sake of the children and nothing else probably both parties know the score.

kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
What if your (ex) partner takes the children away with them? You can't be sure that they also consider staying together for the children to be the best course of action.
- thriftwy 5y ago
  Obviosly you are trying to take something that is not yours. Getting a five finger discount to get (unilaterally) open relationship at a cost of regular one.
  - kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
    What do you mean? I don't understand anything of what you are saying? What am I trying to take that isn't mine? (And why me, I am not the OP)? What is a five finger discount?
    - thriftwy 5y ago
      Five finger discount is when you steal. The condition of staying in good relations with your wife where she does not take the children and blast off is not having a romantic life on the side. You understand this condition but try to get around it by lying. Not because it is unfair or impossible. Just because you want to have good things without paying for them.
      - throwaway211116 5y ago
        I find your stance to be incredibly naive and (yes I will use the word) sexist. Are you claiming that having an affair is the ONLY reason a woman might leave a relationship. Do you truly believe that as long as you do not f** someone else she should be chained to you? Do you truly believe that is all that is necessary for maintaining a relationship? You do not even realize the implications of what you are saying. If the only way a woman would be allowed to divorce was if the man cheated, that means that the optimum strategy for a woman in a bad relationship wanting to end it would be to make the life of the man hell and push him towards an affair. Of course, this would only be possible in the absence of the possibility of domestic violence directed towards the woman. I am a man, european and I am NOT a progressive, but viewpoints like yours truly make me see that some of the most extreme and angry fringes of (in this case, feminism) might have a point. Your viewpoint is so narrow, it dehumanizes women. This american style puritanism (and the hypocrisy embedded inside it - statistically, places where this view is wider spread are also places with a higher percentage of offenders) is truly baffling.
        thriftwy 5y ago
        You thought all of that by yourself. There are a lot of ways to breach a "contract" that is marriage, including a voluntary termination. However, being unfaithful is a good way to ruin your marriage, so if it means things to you please don't cheat your wife, unless explicitly being on different terms (and even then...). This one is totally reasonable. It does not grant you any protection for the other cases, though.
        throwaway211116 5y ago
        You claim I made that up. Then lets analyze your comment. > The condition of staying in good relations with your wife You do not say "one of", you say "the". > where she does not take the children and blast off You define having "good relations" as merely "she does not take the children and blast off". > is not having a romantic life on the side. Define romantic. Actually, also define cheating. Where is the boundary. Do not wiggle out of this. You made a crap comment. If it is not what you believe than amend it, but don't claim it is not stating what it is obviously stating. As for your last comment: I never claimed that "being unfaithful is a good way to ruin your marriage" is not true. I put you on the spot because your comment claimed that is all that matters. Also, voluntary termination of a contract is not breach of contract. And while granted, having the initiative is beneficial in a divorce, depending on the culture and jurisdiction, the outcome of "the women taking the children" may have the same probability. Also, this assumes, the case of a male in a hetero relationship, being the one who cheats. I find all variants of cheating (man on woman, woman on man, woman on woman, man on man, etc.) equally plausible. Up until your comment there was no assumption on the genders of the partners. Your comment assigned genders to the cheater and the cheated.