6 ms·
There is not only loyalty in that situation. There is also lying to your partner and the children, and the example and values that you give to your children. A
by mpol 5y ago
There is not only loyalty in that situation. There is also lying to your partner and the children, and the example and values that you give to your children.
Apparently the children are important to you, otherwise you would be gone from a bad relationship. It involves lying to people that are important to you, which does not speak well for trustworthiness. I can imagine the children are more important than someone outside the family, so at least I need to set some expectations right. That doesn't mean trust is a black and white thing.
- kkjjkgjjgg 5y agoWhat would be the alternative to lying?
- bryanrasmussen 5y agowell the alternative to lying would be that both partners know they can't stand each other but are remaining together for the sake of the children, I figure once you are at that point of remaining together for the sake of the children and nothing else probably both parties know the score.
- kkjjkgjjgg 5y agoWhat if your (ex) partner takes the children away with them? You can't be sure that they also consider staying together for the children to be the best course of action.
- thriftwy 5y agoObviosly you are trying to take something that is not yours. Getting a five finger discount to get (unilaterally) open relationship at a cost of regular one.
- kkjjkgjjgg 5y agoWhat do you mean? I don't understand anything of what you are saying? What am I trying to take that isn't mine? (And why me, I am not the OP)? What is a five finger discount?
- thriftwy 5y agoFive finger discount is when you steal. The condition of staying in good relations with your wife where she does not take the children and blast off is not having a romantic life on the side. You understand this condition but try to get around it by lying. Not because it is unfair or impossible. Just because you want to have good things without paying for them.
- throwaway211116 5y agoI find your stance to be incredibly naive and (yes I will use the word) sexist. Are you claiming that having an affair is the ONLY reason a woman might leave a relationship. Do you truly believe that as long as you do not f** someone else she should be chained to you? Do you truly believe that is all that is necessary for maintaining a relationship? You do not even realize the implications of what you are saying. If the only way a woman would be allowed to divorce was if the man cheated, that means that the optimum strategy for a woman in a bad relationship wanting to end it would be to make the life of the man hell and push him towards an affair. Of course, this would only be possible in the absence of the possibility of domestic violence directed towards the woman. I am a man, european and I am NOT a progressive, but viewpoints like yours truly make me see that some of the most extreme and angry fringes of (in this case, feminism) might have a point. Your viewpoint is so narrow, it dehumanizes women. This american style puritanism (and the hypocrisy embedded inside it - statistically, places where this view is wider spread are also places with a higher percentage of offenders) is truly baffling.
- thriftwy 5y agoYou thought all of that by yourself. There are a lot of ways to breach a "contract" that is marriage, including a voluntary termination. However, being unfaithful is a good way to ruin your marriage, so if it means things to you please don't cheat your wife, unless explicitly being on different terms (and even then...). This one is totally reasonable. It does not grant you any protection for the other cases, though.