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Here’s how I got over my negativity: Like many others here on HN, I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mind

Here’s how I got over my negativity: Like many others here on HN, I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. But what we don’t see easily is that our emotions define the axioms on which our rationalisations are based. That’s why negative thinking feels so “rational” and hard to get out of. If you don’t see this, you won’t see a point of coming out of it. I went for a 10 day vipassana retreat and I have been practicising the meditation every day since February 2021. Through the meditation, I was able to finally perceive how much anxiety my mind was filled with in every moment. The anxiety produced all manner of irrational negative thoughts, which I used to believe in. With the meditation practice, I finally could “experience” the anxiety by “intercepting” it. Instead of letting it loose and producing all manner of thoughts, I “uncover” the anxiety and spend time with it. It rises up and tries to cause a mess while I let my breathing take its natural course, and slowly it fades away into oblivion. What is left behind is clear skies in my mind, and an insight that anxiety is just something that comes and goes. If not observed, it subtly creates a mess. If observed, it speaks its truth and goes away. My negative thinking has not gone away completely, but this was a game changing insight for me. The fact that my thoughts are the equivalent of a madman’s rambling, and don’t need to be taken seriously, is very freeing.

bambataa 5y ago
I have had a similar experience with negative self-talk. Maybe also due to anxiety at bottom and I just haven’t gone down that far. How far into the retreat were you before you noticed this? Anyway, the main insight I wanted to agree with is the realisation that much of your self-aware cognition is more like mental froth. Learning to observe your own thought processes is incredibly helpful and might help OP to understand their underlying mental behaviours.
- russelldjimmy 5y ago
  I didn’t have this realisation during the retreat, but in the months that followed (because I had been regularly practising). During the retreat, however, I did experience more clear mindedness, and more compassion than before. There was a moment when someone’s behaviour irked me and kicked off a spiral of negative thinking (all very easy to rationalise by the way!). But I soon snapped out of it and felt compassion for that person and let it go. It’s a process.
goodpoint 5y ago
> I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. > The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. This is spot on! A lot of people call themselves "rational" when they are driven by unexposed anger or fear. Including fear of their own feelings. Real rational thinking is the opposite of being an emotionless robot. It's about being deeply aware of our emotions and how they affect our though process.
- russelldjimmy 5y ago
  Yes! The internet is a fine example of people acting out their hidden anger and then “justifying” it - perpetuating the dream that they are stuck in. Another “justification” that is often used is that anger is required to spur people into action else we’d be, like you said, “emotionless robots”. This is a false dichotomy. Negative and positive emotions are two sides of the same coin and lead to clouded thinking. Being aware of these emotions allows us to access the deeper joy and wisdom within us. Being mindful of our emotions doesn’t make us emotionless at all. Once someone experiences the clear-mindedness of not being stuck in a cycle of negative and positive emotions, it is hard to not recommend to others. It truly is very freeing.

bambataa 5y ago

I have had a similar experience with negative self-talk. Maybe also due to anxiety at bottom and I just haven’t gone down that far. How far into the retreat were you before you noticed this? Anyway, the main insight I wanted to agree with is the realisation that much of your self-aware cognition is more like mental froth. Learning to observe your own thought processes is incredibly helpful and might help OP to understand their underlying mental behaviours.

russelldjimmy 5y ago
I didn’t have this realisation during the retreat, but in the months that followed (because I had been regularly practising). During the retreat, however, I did experience more clear mindedness, and more compassion than before. There was a moment when someone’s behaviour irked me and kicked off a spiral of negative thinking (all very easy to rationalise by the way!). But I soon snapped out of it and felt compassion for that person and let it go. It’s a process.

goodpoint 5y ago

> I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. > The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. This is spot on! A lot of people call themselves "rational" when they are driven by unexposed anger or fear. Including fear of their own feelings. Real rational thinking is the opposite of being an emotionless robot. It's about being deeply aware of our emotions and how they affect our though process.

russelldjimmy 5y ago
Yes! The internet is a fine example of people acting out their hidden anger and then “justifying” it - perpetuating the dream that they are stuck in. Another “justification” that is often used is that anger is required to spur people into action else we’d be, like you said, “emotionless robots”. This is a false dichotomy. Negative and positive emotions are two sides of the same coin and lead to clouded thinking. Being aware of these emotions allows us to access the deeper joy and wisdom within us. Being mindful of our emotions doesn’t make us emotionless at all. Once someone experiences the clear-mindedness of not being stuck in a cycle of negative and positive emotions, it is hard to not recommend to others. It truly is very freeing.