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Let's use Gender as a quick example, why not? A few years ago, I couldn't have said I thought about it at all. For better and for worse, it wasn't part of the

Let's use Gender as a quick example, why not? A few years ago, I couldn't have said I thought about it at all. For better and for worse, it wasn't part of the discourse. Now, I'm not all that different, yet it comes up again and again. I'm often forced to choose a side, even when it's all hypotheticals and virtues. I feel forced because online media is permanent, each statement is my closing argument. When the litigation tries to bend toward actual experience, the thorny truths are much too thorny to accept. I've seen this play out time and time again, on a vast number of subjects. We summarize the sad state of things as "lacking nuance". It seeps into my personal life as well now, having become a part of my personality. Fact is, it's not just a lack of nuance and it's not just conformity. It's hard boiled fear. Fear of the repercussions, fear of the judging eyes, fear of any reaction at all. Conformism requires something of a leader to follow, but with "social cooling" it's simply following nothing into the depths of atrophy and despair. Many don't even notice. So there's those who challenge and those who accept, like always. The winners will be the charismatic and successful, but I have still yet to hear one from any side I'd follow. Am I blind? Am I missing something critical to living in this fucked up world? Am I being too rhetorical, too demanding, too focused on the issue outside my control? At the end of the day I sleep poorly, wake restlessly, and like anyone still holding on to sanity, I find my own distractions.

colechristensen 5y ago
These people always existed, it is just an uncomfortable change. It used to be holier than thou people at church now it’s holier than thou suburban teenagers on social media. It’s uncomfortable because many people did and still do think these people are liberal and “on their side” and don’t get that this toxic human behavior has existed forever and goes between groups.
- nixpulvis 5y ago
  The Atlantic's "The New Puritans [1] Mob Justice Is Trampling Democratic Discourse" is a good read (or listen) on the subject: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/10/new-puritans-mob-justice-canceled/619818/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/10/new-pur...
- notabee 5y ago
  I grew up around fundamentalist religious folks and I am glad that someone else sees the parallel here. And it's hard, because besides the more sociopathic types that are 100% motivated by social status, there are many who really mean well and just don't understand how destructive dogmatic thinking is, and how it tends to mainly help bolster the aforementioned sociopaths in their goals of domination rather than any intended good effects in the world.
jl6 5y ago
Social media might be doing you more harm than good? Offline surely isn’t like this for you too is it?
- SpicyLemonZest 5y ago
  As the presentation notes, in some circles it is. I absolutely conduct myself in public under the presumption that people in the background could jump in at any moment to make a viral video. I don't necessarily want to defend that as a matter of risk assessment, I'm probably being too neurotic about it, but the idea that I might become the country's punching bag if I say the wrong thing is just deeply distressing.
- nixpulvis 5y ago
  I deleted my Facebook, stopped using Twitter, and even gave up projects on GitHub. I recently wrote a little rant about the death of my iPhone [1]... to be honest, I don't know how to live anymore. As much as I try to solve my problems, I find new ones in isolation. It's complicated and sad. [1]: https://nixpulvis.com/ramblings/2021-09-30-death-to-an-iphone https://nixpulvis.com/ramblings/2021-09-30-death-to-an-iphon...
spectramax 5y ago
Don’t. Think fearlessly and don’t lose the kernel of independent thought.
si1entstill 5y ago
> I'm often forced to choose a side, even when it's all hypotheticals and virtues. In what situations are you forced to choose a side? In conversations with your friends/family? At your place of employment (in whatever form that may be)?
- nixpulvis 5y ago
  Both, but maybe I've been skewed by my experience in Academia where sociopolitical issues are very sensitive these days.
silisili 5y ago
Perhaps it's where I live, but for me - it's just the internet. It doesn't have any resemblance to my reality. As someone who's been on the internet since a teen, watched it evolve, etc, it makes me kinda sad. Because I feel forced out. But that's ok. As online communities, emboldened really by tech companies themselves, try to gain control by silencing dissent via mob behavior or 'canceling', I just find myself leaving. And in doing so make both myself and presumably the community happier for it. Take a walk in the park, or go sit on the beach a while. Make small talk with people walking by. In doing all this, I realize I never meet or see the type people who are so 'in control' and loud and/or threatening online. Most people seem friendly enough in person. So my questions become - are these people even real? Do they live somewhere I'm just unfamiliar with? Or did the internet give them some loud voice that otherwise doesn't exist in person? Why are these voices the loudest - does controversy really sell this well? Is social media purposefully putting controversial things on the forefront because it increases engagement? Not actually expecting answers, just rambling really - apologies.
- aaron-santos 5y ago
  No apologies needed. The internet gives people a platform to speak without the same(but not necessarily less) social accountability that exists in meatspace. The change in accountability implies a change in the access that participants have to social scripts. What we are experiencing is a mismatch of social script access between meatspace and the digital space enabled by novel digital mediums and increased connectivity. That is the current contradiction. My bet is that neither the meatspace social construct nor the digital social construct wins. The resolution is in their synthesis. That probably means that some meatspace social norms change and some digital social norms change. Finally, any resistance to those changes in inherently reactionary.
- nixpulvis 5y ago
  > Or did the internet give them some loud voice that otherwise doesn't exist in person? Yes, which then allowed them to become very much "real", both online and off.
- tqabx 5y ago
  I also escape from the computer to reality like sports or walks. The people are real. Corporations like to install degenerate or mentally ill people in lower positions of power to humiliate the high performers and keep them under control. The higher positions are still occupied by the jocks, who watch the whole theater with great amusement and joke about useful idiots (I have contact with a few of them).

colechristensen 5y ago

These people always existed, it is just an uncomfortable change. It used to be holier than thou people at church now it’s holier than thou suburban teenagers on social media. It’s uncomfortable because many people did and still do think these people are liberal and “on their side” and don’t get that this toxic human behavior has existed forever and goes between groups.

nixpulvis 5y ago
The Atlantic's "The New Puritans [1] Mob Justice Is Trampling Democratic Discourse" is a good read (or listen) on the subject: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/10/new-puritans-mob-justice-canceled/619818/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/10/new-pur...
notabee 5y ago
I grew up around fundamentalist religious folks and I am glad that someone else sees the parallel here. And it's hard, because besides the more sociopathic types that are 100% motivated by social status, there are many who really mean well and just don't understand how destructive dogmatic thinking is, and how it tends to mainly help bolster the aforementioned sociopaths in their goals of domination rather than any intended good effects in the world.

jl6 5y ago

Social media might be doing you more harm than good? Offline surely isn’t like this for you too is it?

SpicyLemonZest 5y ago
As the presentation notes, in some circles it is. I absolutely conduct myself in public under the presumption that people in the background could jump in at any moment to make a viral video. I don't necessarily want to defend that as a matter of risk assessment, I'm probably being too neurotic about it, but the idea that I might become the country's punching bag if I say the wrong thing is just deeply distressing.
nixpulvis 5y ago
I deleted my Facebook, stopped using Twitter, and even gave up projects on GitHub. I recently wrote a little rant about the death of my iPhone [1]... to be honest, I don't know how to live anymore. As much as I try to solve my problems, I find new ones in isolation. It's complicated and sad. [1]: https://nixpulvis.com/ramblings/2021-09-30-death-to-an-iphone https://nixpulvis.com/ramblings/2021-09-30-death-to-an-iphon...

spectramax 5y ago

Don’t. Think fearlessly and don’t lose the kernel of independent thought.

si1entstill 5y ago

> I'm often forced to choose a side, even when it's all hypotheticals and virtues. In what situations are you forced to choose a side? In conversations with your friends/family? At your place of employment (in whatever form that may be)?

nixpulvis 5y ago
Both, but maybe I've been skewed by my experience in Academia where sociopolitical issues are very sensitive these days.

silisili 5y ago

Perhaps it's where I live, but for me - it's just the internet. It doesn't have any resemblance to my reality. As someone who's been on the internet since a teen, watched it evolve, etc, it makes me kinda sad. Because I feel forced out. But that's ok. As online communities, emboldened really by tech companies themselves, try to gain control by silencing dissent via mob behavior or 'canceling', I just find myself leaving. And in doing so make both myself and presumably the community happier for it. Take a walk in the park, or go sit on the beach a while. Make small talk with people walking by. In doing all this, I realize I never meet or see the type people who are so 'in control' and loud and/or threatening online. Most people seem friendly enough in person. So my questions become - are these people even real? Do they live somewhere I'm just unfamiliar with? Or did the internet give them some loud voice that otherwise doesn't exist in person? Why are these voices the loudest - does controversy really sell this well? Is social media purposefully putting controversial things on the forefront because it increases engagement? Not actually expecting answers, just rambling really - apologies.

aaron-santos 5y ago
No apologies needed. The internet gives people a platform to speak without the same(but not necessarily less) social accountability that exists in meatspace. The change in accountability implies a change in the access that participants have to social scripts. What we are experiencing is a mismatch of social script access between meatspace and the digital space enabled by novel digital mediums and increased connectivity. That is the current contradiction. My bet is that neither the meatspace social construct nor the digital social construct wins. The resolution is in their synthesis. That probably means that some meatspace social norms change and some digital social norms change. Finally, any resistance to those changes in inherently reactionary.
nixpulvis 5y ago
> Or did the internet give them some loud voice that otherwise doesn't exist in person? Yes, which then allowed them to become very much "real", both online and off.
tqabx 5y ago
I also escape from the computer to reality like sports or walks. The people are real. Corporations like to install degenerate or mentally ill people in lower positions of power to humiliate the high performers and keep them under control. The higher positions are still occupied by the jocks, who watch the whole theater with great amusement and joke about useful idiots (I have contact with a few of them).