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And it's somewhat sad and lonely when I experience something and it's not really something I can share fully with her In a good relationship, peopl

And it's somewhat sad and lonely when I experience something and it's not really something I can share fully with her In a good relationship, people get excited for each other! When Person B is happy and/or geeking out over something... Person A doesn't have to love or even care about every detail of the thing itself. But Person A should be genuinely excited that Person B is happy about something and should take some interest in the thing, if only to understand why it makes Person B happy. I have had a lot of bad relationships.

mlyle 5y ago
Oh, sure. My wife will notice I'm excited and be happy. And listen patiently and try and understand. But it's not the same as bragging or complaining about it to my nerd buddies, you know? At one point, this used to really bum me out, but it was really an unrealistic expectation.
- Aeolun 5y ago
  I like it when my partner can at least ask intelligent questions about the thing I am enthusiastic about though. They don’t really have to understand it, just get the general idea.
  - asdfasgasdgasdg 5y ago
    There's a spectrum of possible behaviors here, both on the part of the sender and the receiver. As someone who is interested in things that someone else isn't interested in, it's important to regulate how much time you spend talking about those topics. For example, it's fine to bring up a videogame with non-gamers once in a while, but if your every conversation is about that, it's going to annoy the people listening to you, even if they are the most generous conversation partners in the world. Only get a seven year old talking about their favorite Nintendo game to see how wearing that can be.
    - Aeolun 5y ago
      Yeah, I was talking about the quality of the conversation here, not the quantity. If someone is a great listener but never really responds I feel like I’m carrying on by myself, I might as well be talking to a tree.

mlyle 5y ago

Oh, sure. My wife will notice I'm excited and be happy. And listen patiently and try and understand. But it's not the same as bragging or complaining about it to my nerd buddies, you know? At one point, this used to really bum me out, but it was really an unrealistic expectation.

Aeolun 5y ago
I like it when my partner can at least ask intelligent questions about the thing I am enthusiastic about though. They don’t really have to understand it, just get the general idea.
- asdfasgasdgasdg 5y ago
  There's a spectrum of possible behaviors here, both on the part of the sender and the receiver. As someone who is interested in things that someone else isn't interested in, it's important to regulate how much time you spend talking about those topics. For example, it's fine to bring up a videogame with non-gamers once in a while, but if your every conversation is about that, it's going to annoy the people listening to you, even if they are the most generous conversation partners in the world. Only get a seven year old talking about their favorite Nintendo game to see how wearing that can be.
  - Aeolun 5y ago
    Yeah, I was talking about the quality of the conversation here, not the quantity. If someone is a great listener but never really responds I feel like I’m carrying on by myself, I might as well be talking to a tree.