5 ms·

Yes, but on flipside said girl now can and fully expects to be courted by best boys well outside of 1995 logistic reach.

zwirbl 5y ago
this. And then be bullied by even more people outside said reach
busterarm 5y ago
https://www.fastcompany.com/90411925/having-too-many-choices-is-making-us-miserable https://www.fastcompany.com/90411925/having-too-many-choices... Also for all of the women I've seen flown out from Alabama, Mississippi, etc to NY, LA & Miami by the more affluent men in my social circles, I haven't seen a single long term relationship develop out of it. The wider net isn't leading to better outcomes.
foobarian 5y ago
Wouldn't it be great if we could use the power of technology to then have one but not the other?
tw04 5y ago
>Yes, but on flipside said girl now can and fully expects to be courted by best boys well outside of 1995 logistic reach. I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not, but study after study has shown that dating was far more mentally healthy in 1995 than it is today. Online dating falls into almost the exact same category of causing anxiety and making it more difficult for younger generations to form meaningful relationships - just like instagram and facebook.
- GnarfGnarf 5y ago
  ...far more...
- kodah 5y ago
  I think GP is conflating an issue with online dating and the psychology of beauty. Basically, men in online dating on average get very low numbers of matches while women on average get a ton. It's a numbers game, the apps know it, and that's why they have upgrades to buy visibility etc... It's a genuine problem, in that it is fully exploitative of men, but not related to this imo.
snayan 5y ago
Please reflect on the circumstances in your life that lead you to this belief. In my experience this is a very toxic viewpoint and couldn't be further from the truth. If anything I'd argue that more than ever both women and men are searching for authenticity in a partner. Something increasingly difficult to come by in our social media fueled world. Sure, there is a subset on both sides that has been completely sucked in by this culture and measures each others worth by the number of followers on their instagram, but I'd actually view this as a positive. It's really convenient to be able to identify and filter out these vain individuals early on in the dating process. Keep your head up nodejs_rulez_1, there are still plenty of good women and men out there.
- arvinsim 5y ago
  I don't believe that is a toxic belief. Or even a belief at all. It's just human psychology. Simply put, any man or woman with a lot of choices would be less invested in any of the options presented.
  - DiggyJohnson 5y ago
    Because the overall process, despite being more efficient as measured by outcome, does not lead to as many fulfilling experiences as before.
    - arvinsim 5y ago
      Oh for sure. Seems to widely known that the more choices you have, the less happy you become.
strgcmc 5y ago
You say this like it's some kind of benefit to the girl in question... IMO seems far more likely to lead to increased harassment and negative outcomes, rather than being a positive.

zwirbl 5y ago

this. And then be bullied by even more people outside said reach

busterarm 5y ago

https://www.fastcompany.com/90411925/having-too-many-choices-is-making-us-miserable https://www.fastcompany.com/90411925/having-too-many-choices... Also for all of the women I've seen flown out from Alabama, Mississippi, etc to NY, LA & Miami by the more affluent men in my social circles, I haven't seen a single long term relationship develop out of it. The wider net isn't leading to better outcomes.

foobarian 5y ago

Wouldn't it be great if we could use the power of technology to then have one but not the other?

tw04 5y ago

>Yes, but on flipside said girl now can and fully expects to be courted by best boys well outside of 1995 logistic reach. I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not, but study after study has shown that dating was far more mentally healthy in 1995 than it is today. Online dating falls into almost the exact same category of causing anxiety and making it more difficult for younger generations to form meaningful relationships - just like instagram and facebook.

GnarfGnarf 5y ago
...far more...
kodah 5y ago
I think GP is conflating an issue with online dating and the psychology of beauty. Basically, men in online dating on average get very low numbers of matches while women on average get a ton. It's a numbers game, the apps know it, and that's why they have upgrades to buy visibility etc... It's a genuine problem, in that it is fully exploitative of men, but not related to this imo.

snayan 5y ago

Please reflect on the circumstances in your life that lead you to this belief. In my experience this is a very toxic viewpoint and couldn't be further from the truth. If anything I'd argue that more than ever both women and men are searching for authenticity in a partner. Something increasingly difficult to come by in our social media fueled world. Sure, there is a subset on both sides that has been completely sucked in by this culture and measures each others worth by the number of followers on their instagram, but I'd actually view this as a positive. It's really convenient to be able to identify and filter out these vain individuals early on in the dating process. Keep your head up nodejs_rulez_1, there are still plenty of good women and men out there.

arvinsim 5y ago
I don't believe that is a toxic belief. Or even a belief at all. It's just human psychology. Simply put, any man or woman with a lot of choices would be less invested in any of the options presented.
- DiggyJohnson 5y ago
  Because the overall process, despite being more efficient as measured by outcome, does not lead to as many fulfilling experiences as before.
  - arvinsim 5y ago
    Oh for sure. Seems to widely known that the more choices you have, the less happy you become.

strgcmc 5y ago

You say this like it's some kind of benefit to the girl in question... IMO seems far more likely to lead to increased harassment and negative outcomes, rather than being a positive.