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My ex wife was like that. One reason she's an ex wife. I lost a job due to her once because she phoned the office after I didn't respond to an SMS while I was i
by hughrr 5y ago
My ex wife was like that. One reason she's an ex wife. I lost a job due to her once because she phoned the office after I didn't respond to an SMS while I was in a very tough meeting with a client.
I now have my phone on do not disturb 24/7. I will choose when I participate in messaging. I also disable iMessage on my Mac. If someone comes up to me and talks to me, I may not even respond immediately.
I took this to extremes and a couple of weekends back I actually went for a day long solo hike with zero technology with me at all past a torch, map, compass and alcohol stove. I didn't even have any way of telling the time with me. It was invigorating with the obligation to communicate and steal my attention removed. What was most surprising was the removal of a camera and watch. Rather than being focused on recording my journey and keeping to a schedule I was focused on enjoying it. This has led to considerably more vivid memories and a much higher level of satisfaction. A trip I will always remember.
- dwighttk 5y agoThe only reason I take my phone with me on hikes is for the camera. One day I’d like to get a dumbcamera and leave my phone behind more. I don’t take a ton of pictures but do like to have the option.
- ghaff 5y agoI admit I use the GPS although I don't typically depend on it. (At least for anything serious.)
- bittercynic 5y agoI like to enable airplane mode for that kind of situation. Knowing my phone won't alert me about an email/text/call or whatever is very soothing.
- furstenheim 5y agoUntil you have an emergency and you need to call the helicopter, been there
- patrickdavey 5y agoI have a personal locator beacon (PLB) for that. Works even when there's no reception as it's satellite based. 10 year battery life...
- ghaff 5y agoYeah. If you're genuinely concerned about being able to call for help, you should absolutely be carrying a PLB--though I don't. A smartphone may work. A PLB also may work but for higher values of may. Especially in more remote areas where injuries are probably a bigger deal, phones often can't be counted on.
- dan-robertson 5y agoOnce upon a time it was rude to look at your watch at certain events as it implied that you were bored or keen to get home.
- jimbokun 5y agoFamously got George H W Bush into trouble during a Presidential debate.
- WalterBright 5y agoThe trick is to look at someone else's watch. Of course, today only old people like me wear a watch. Curses!
- Max_aaa 5y agoThat is cunning.
- WalterBright 5y agoMy other feelthy trick is, for the D conferences, I make sure all the steenkin' badges have the names written large on them, and on both sides. That way, the peanut butter side always lands face up (or face down, if you prefer!). It ensures I never forget a name!
- hughrr 5y agoMy mother’s house is full of wrong clocks. Imagine that terror!
- ghaff 5y agoIs that really true, given fitness/smart watch sales?
- seanicus 5y agoI thought the same thing, but OTOH most of them have screens set on raise-to-wake so you can't sneak a peek at the time anyhow.
- oceanghost 5y agoSo I left one story out of my little rant-- which was my ex-wife would do exactly what you described. She would text and then if I hadn't responded in a few minutes she'd call the receptionist and/or my desk phone. It was infuriating because she rarely answered a text in less than a few hours. She said that it upset her when she couldn't reach me--and that's one of the reasons she's an ex-wife. Her go to manipulation tactic was this sort of ask for some sort of compromise or make some sort of promise with absolutely not intention of keeping her end of the bargain.
- TedDoesntTalk 5y agoSame experience with my current wife. Has yours remarried?
- oceanghost 5y agoShe has not, but she's living with someone. I have not met him, but I can tell he's falling for the manipulation because I'm picking up my daughter from HIM most days instead of her (meaning, he's doing her dirtywork like driving our daughter places). She was the kind of person, if you weren't doing exactly what she wanted you to, you were a piece of shit. Once I realized what was going on (our early relationship was much, much different, I would have never married someone like this) I stopped paying this game and it infuriated her to not have power over me. Could I throw something at you-- I am sorry to be rude-- could it be your wife thinks you are cheating or is cheating herself? This was what I think was driving my ex-wife's behavior. One, to verify that I was at work and not cheating, and to make sure I was at work so she could cheat herself.
- TedDoesntTalk 5y agoWow , so many similarities. I don’t know about the cheating angle. It is possible she is but in wouldn’t know when she’s have the time for it.
- oceanghost 5y ago
- koolba 5y ago> If someone comes up to me and talks to me, I may not even respond immediately. Maybe I’m too old fashioned, but there’s world of difference between ignoring someone contacting you through an async communication channel like SMS and them literally standing next to you and speaking to your face.
- brewdad 5y agoI agree, though I certainly will finish my thought, typing a sentence or two, before stopping and saying something like "I'm sorry, what were you asking?"
- AliceWong 5y agoI'd be considered 'young' and would think it at least aloof so I don't think its your old-fashionedness.
- 8bitsrule 5y agoThere used to be an old-fashioned, well-known hand-signal for this situation. You pause long enough to hold up one finger for a second or two, then return to what you were doing. The polite would then poke around or sit down or return in a half-minute or minute to see if you'd paused. The impolite would get barked at.
- pharmakom 5y agoI agree. However, I wish our culture considered it rude to just walk up to someone in the middle of deep work and ask them something - unless it’s really important and time critical. It could be a simple as sending a message first “free for a quick chat?”
- ghaff 5y agoMy counterpoint would be that before the widespread availability of chat and things like that, it was considered perfectly normal in most workplaces to swing by someone's desk. The modern obsession with "deep work" in some circles is mostly a modern invention. (At least in places that didn't commonly have offices where you could open or shut the door as a signal.)