5 ms·

Culture fit doesn't have to stretch that far - it does not need to be pervasive and it does not need to be toxic. We had a guy from Gaza in our office - he com

by yarg 5y ago

Culture fit doesn't have to stretch that far - it does not need to be pervasive and it does not need to be toxic. We had a guy from Gaza in our office - he complained about informal emails sent to invite people for drinks because it was sinful, he complained about a manikin that got dressed up at special occasions because it was immodest. I don't know what lines to draw here - but be careful when playing with double-edged swords.

jacobrussell 5y ago
> he complained about a manikin that got dressed up at special occasions because it was immodest Uhhhh... dare I ask to explain what was going on with said mannequin? What kind of “special occasion” requires this... ritual? Also, I can’t tell whether you are implying that it would have been better for your coworker to have been filtered out because you think they are too sensitive, or if you are implying that your office asks weird things of people. What is the “double-edged sword”?
- yarg 5y ago
  She'd dress up for christmas and halloween, nothing that bad. Other than that she sat in the corner (nearish the pool table) being inoffensive. The second edge: there is the risk that healthy aspects of a prevailing culture will be eroded for the sake of an overly vocal regressive minority.
  - scotuswroteus 5y ago
    OR some of these squabbles over lifestyle preferences should not be contested in an office space because people should not be living out their personal lives through office decorations or in anyway identifying with the office in such a way that the hefty and meaningful word "culture" implies. Everyone should have ample personal space and personal time and lives of their own. You shouldn't remember whether the office mannequin needed to be removed. That's a trifle.
    - yarg 5y ago
      No it's not; it's a moment of shared levity - a respite against the uniform tedium of repeated daily drudge. It's a hint of humanity in the belly of the beast that eats our daily lives.
    - raxxorrax 5y ago
      At some point you have to give people incentives to actually want to work in an office culture. Stringent office professionalism is an ideal that is held up in conflicts, but no workplace looks that way. Managers will quickly identify emotional needs and this adherence to neutrality is a telltale sign that something is bothering you. My task would be address that but also keep it from affecting other employees.
rdaystrom 5y ago
Aren't all swords double-edged? I would think that a single-edged sword would simply be a knife. Or an axe.
- kayodelycaon 5y ago
  Sabers? Katanas?
  - rascul 5y ago
    Also falchions, scimitars, sabres, cutlasses, and falcatas. Additionally, I have some double edged knives.
  - randomswede 5y ago
    For sabres, I'd say "it depends". A non-trivial fraction will have a portion of the back sharpened (about a quarter to a third). But, yes, there are more definitely single-edged swords. Add falchion to the list (or a langmesser, although that literally means "long knife"). I guess it is genuinely hard to draw a non-fuzzy line between "knife" and "sword"...
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
sangnoir 5y ago
He should have insinuated being a recovered alcoholic instead, that works for me when I feel I'm being unduly pressured. As someone who doesn't care for drinks, the quickest way to shut-down all that drinks-are-vital-to-our-culture talk is to declare that I used to have a problem with the drink, but I'm sober now, and watch them stammer something about the event being optional.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- munk-a 5y ago
  Honestly - some people just don't like the feeling (me) and some other people (south east asians in particular) are allergic and overly sensitive to booze. There are really, really easy ways to talk yourself out of drinking situations.
  - sangnoir 5y ago
    > There are really, really easy ways to talk yourself out of drinking situations. Absolutely, but in my experience no other reason shuts down attempts at negotiating/cajoling/follow up questions/suggestions to "just show up and grab a soda" faster than pleading the alcoholism. It appears AA gets more unquestioning deference compared to any other personal/health/religious reasons
    - SerLava 5y ago
      Makes sense though- when you have a religious objection to alcohol, someone drinking it near you isn't going to cause actual extreme bodily harm to you.
- ranguna 5y ago
  That's fine if it's true, if not, why tell lies? Just tell them you don't like drinking. We organize the same kind of meetings over at where I work, and if someone says they don't like drinking, we tell them that water is fine, if they say they don't want to join for whatever or no reason, then we say fine and let them know that the meeting will be always open to them.
fennecfoxy 5y ago
Makes me wonder if that particular individual would complain about a Pride Month email being "sinful". As a gay man I would refuse to work with someone like this.

by yarg 5y ago

jacobrussell 5y ago

> he complained about a manikin that got dressed up at special occasions because it was immodest Uhhhh... dare I ask to explain what was going on with said mannequin? What kind of “special occasion” requires this... ritual? Also, I can’t tell whether you are implying that it would have been better for your coworker to have been filtered out because you think they are too sensitive, or if you are implying that your office asks weird things of people. What is the “double-edged sword”?

yarg 5y ago
She'd dress up for christmas and halloween, nothing that bad. Other than that she sat in the corner (nearish the pool table) being inoffensive. The second edge: there is the risk that healthy aspects of a prevailing culture will be eroded for the sake of an overly vocal regressive minority.
- scotuswroteus 5y ago
  OR some of these squabbles over lifestyle preferences should not be contested in an office space because people should not be living out their personal lives through office decorations or in anyway identifying with the office in such a way that the hefty and meaningful word "culture" implies. Everyone should have ample personal space and personal time and lives of their own. You shouldn't remember whether the office mannequin needed to be removed. That's a trifle.
  - yarg 5y ago
    No it's not; it's a moment of shared levity - a respite against the uniform tedium of repeated daily drudge. It's a hint of humanity in the belly of the beast that eats our daily lives.
  - raxxorrax 5y ago
    At some point you have to give people incentives to actually want to work in an office culture. Stringent office professionalism is an ideal that is held up in conflicts, but no workplace looks that way. Managers will quickly identify emotional needs and this adherence to neutrality is a telltale sign that something is bothering you. My task would be address that but also keep it from affecting other employees.

rdaystrom 5y ago

Aren't all swords double-edged? I would think that a single-edged sword would simply be a knife. Or an axe.

kayodelycaon 5y ago
Sabers? Katanas?
- rascul 5y ago
  Also falchions, scimitars, sabres, cutlasses, and falcatas. Additionally, I have some double edged knives.
- randomswede 5y ago
  For sabres, I'd say "it depends". A non-trivial fraction will have a portion of the back sharpened (about a quarter to a third). But, yes, there are more definitely single-edged swords. Add falchion to the list (or a langmesser, although that literally means "long knife"). I guess it is genuinely hard to draw a non-fuzzy line between "knife" and "sword"...
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]

sangnoir 5y ago

He should have insinuated being a recovered alcoholic instead, that works for me when I feel I'm being unduly pressured. As someone who doesn't care for drinks, the quickest way to shut-down all that drinks-are-vital-to-our-culture talk is to declare that I used to have a problem with the drink, but I'm sober now, and watch them stammer something about the event being optional.

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
munk-a 5y ago
Honestly - some people just don't like the feeling (me) and some other people (south east asians in particular) are allergic and overly sensitive to booze. There are really, really easy ways to talk yourself out of drinking situations.
- sangnoir 5y ago
  > There are really, really easy ways to talk yourself out of drinking situations. Absolutely, but in my experience no other reason shuts down attempts at negotiating/cajoling/follow up questions/suggestions to "just show up and grab a soda" faster than pleading the alcoholism. It appears AA gets more unquestioning deference compared to any other personal/health/religious reasons
  - SerLava 5y ago
    Makes sense though- when you have a religious objection to alcohol, someone drinking it near you isn't going to cause actual extreme bodily harm to you.
ranguna 5y ago
That's fine if it's true, if not, why tell lies? Just tell them you don't like drinking. We organize the same kind of meetings over at where I work, and if someone says they don't like drinking, we tell them that water is fine, if they say they don't want to join for whatever or no reason, then we say fine and let them know that the meeting will be always open to them.

fennecfoxy 5y ago

Makes me wonder if that particular individual would complain about a Pride Month email being "sinful". As a gay man I would refuse to work with someone like this.