4 ms·

So you work for one of the most valuable companies in the world as a software developer, making decent buck, and you are a failure? I think you are young and h

by lifty 5y ago

So you work for one of the most valuable companies in the world as a software developer, making decent buck, and you are a failure? I think you are young and have unreasonable expectations. You’re doing very good in the grand scheme of things; find your self worth and don’t listen to anyone that tells you you’re a failure, including yourself.

rejectedandsad 5y ago
> I think you are young and have unreasonable expectations. You’re doing very good in the grand scheme of things; The grand scheme of things includes people who have guinea worm and make $1/day, it's not a terribly useful metric. If the people I trust the most think I'm a failure...I don't know how else I should interpret that.
- fxtentacle 5y ago
  In my case, people I met usually categorized me either into "everything is awesome" or "you're a failure". Few people took the time to listen and understand that things are going OK but of course there's always things to improve. If you can get by financially and maybe save a bit for a bad day, then you're objectively doing OK or better. After that point, whether you're a success or a failure depends mostly on what you yourself think about it. There's a surprising amount of mean and selfish people out there. It's how they cope with difficulties in their own live.
- specialist 5y ago
  Most people are mostly wrong about most things most of time. So it's a safe bet that you and your personal board of trustees are probably wrong about you being a failure. Also, I rather like how you write. Very droll. Please keep it up.
- TomSwirly 5y ago
  First, you're a really good writer, and no one can take that away from you. The big picture is this - we are nearing the end of this society, and thus (in general) bad people succeed and good people fail. (I personally am doing OK if not stellar, this isn't sour grapes.) You seem like a thoughtful, compassionate guy so it's no wonder that you aren't doing well. My suggestion is artistic detachment. Treat life more like a surrealistic comedy and less like a game with live ammunition - it has aspects of both, of course. If you think of life as a dramatic presentation for your entertainment, even the bad parts will be more entertaining. Turn on a "professional personality" at work which has nothing to do with who YOU are and then learn to turn it off after work. Find something unrelated to... all this... to keep you entertained - something small and cheap and fun. In the past I've studied magic tricks and origami - right now my wife is doing watercolors and I'm reading 50 year old SF books. And best wishes from one random to another!
- nradov 5y ago
  Why do you trust those people? Do they have a proven track record of accurate judgments?
- lallysingh 5y ago
  > If the people I trust the most think I'm a failure...I don't know how else I should interpret that. It means you're surrounded by assholes.

by lifty 5y ago

rejectedandsad 5y ago

> I think you are young and have unreasonable expectations. You’re doing very good in the grand scheme of things; The grand scheme of things includes people who have guinea worm and make $1/day, it's not a terribly useful metric. If the people I trust the most think I'm a failure...I don't know how else I should interpret that.

fxtentacle 5y ago
In my case, people I met usually categorized me either into "everything is awesome" or "you're a failure". Few people took the time to listen and understand that things are going OK but of course there's always things to improve. If you can get by financially and maybe save a bit for a bad day, then you're objectively doing OK or better. After that point, whether you're a success or a failure depends mostly on what you yourself think about it. There's a surprising amount of mean and selfish people out there. It's how they cope with difficulties in their own live.
specialist 5y ago
Most people are mostly wrong about most things most of time. So it's a safe bet that you and your personal board of trustees are probably wrong about you being a failure. Also, I rather like how you write. Very droll. Please keep it up.
TomSwirly 5y ago
First, you're a really good writer, and no one can take that away from you. The big picture is this - we are nearing the end of this society, and thus (in general) bad people succeed and good people fail. (I personally am doing OK if not stellar, this isn't sour grapes.) You seem like a thoughtful, compassionate guy so it's no wonder that you aren't doing well. My suggestion is artistic detachment. Treat life more like a surrealistic comedy and less like a game with live ammunition - it has aspects of both, of course. If you think of life as a dramatic presentation for your entertainment, even the bad parts will be more entertaining. Turn on a "professional personality" at work which has nothing to do with who YOU are and then learn to turn it off after work. Find something unrelated to... all this... to keep you entertained - something small and cheap and fun. In the past I've studied magic tricks and origami - right now my wife is doing watercolors and I'm reading 50 year old SF books. And best wishes from one random to another!
nradov 5y ago
Why do you trust those people? Do they have a proven track record of accurate judgments?
lallysingh 5y ago
> If the people I trust the most think I'm a failure...I don't know how else I should interpret that. It means you're surrounded by assholes.