4 ms·

It doesn't seem like a huge surprise: https://samharris.org/podcasts/254-mating-strategies-earthlings/ https://samharris.org/podcasts/254-mating-strategies-eart

It doesn't seem like a huge surprise: https://samharris.org/podcasts/254-mating-strategies-earthlings/ https://samharris.org/podcasts/254-mating-strategies-earthli... It can come out in different ways, but I suspect it's not that divorced from the above. It's not very attractive to be unemployed and not very ambitious. Maybe the introspection of why is missing, but I suspect that's the reason.

opportune 5y ago
See this is still blaming the problem on some kind of externalized illogical other you aren’t willing to understand (just replace “partner falling for Instagram lies” with neckbeardy EvPsych) rather than empathizing with the other person’s opinion. Like if your partner directly tells you they are unhappy because of XYZ, rather than thinking it’s stupid/some part of how the woman brain works (eye roll), it seems pretty clear that not doing anything to fix XYZ - in this case working again and living more luxuriously - is being a bad partner. Doesn’t matter what the genders are or what XYZ is.
- garmaine 5y ago
  Wife was saying “I feel like we should both work again” and his response was “OK, how about you work? I’m good.” I’m not surprised at all at what happened.
  - balfirevic 5y ago
    Well, it's a perfectly reasonable response.
- fossuser 5y ago
  I think we agree more than we disagree and you're being more hostile than necessary. > "it seems pretty clear that not doing anything to fix XYZ - in this case working again and living more luxuriously - is being a bad partner." Yeah - and the why is the bit I was getting at. They have a core value disagreement here, it's likely to be a common one given sexual selective incentives and behavior. I'm not making a moral judgement, but that's likely the truth. It also sounded like she didn't want to work again - it's unclear if she wanted them both to work, or just for him to work. The podcast I linked is pretty good, men and women often cheat for different reasons, but her motivation here is a pretty textbook example. His comments are also in the context of her cheating on him and a breakup, so unsurprisingly skew negative.
  - staticman2 5y ago
    It's an open question whether anything in the evolutionary psychology field should be given the label "likely the truth."

opportune 5y ago

See this is still blaming the problem on some kind of externalized illogical other you aren’t willing to understand (just replace “partner falling for Instagram lies” with neckbeardy EvPsych) rather than empathizing with the other person’s opinion. Like if your partner directly tells you they are unhappy because of XYZ, rather than thinking it’s stupid/some part of how the woman brain works (eye roll), it seems pretty clear that not doing anything to fix XYZ - in this case working again and living more luxuriously - is being a bad partner. Doesn’t matter what the genders are or what XYZ is.

garmaine 5y ago
Wife was saying “I feel like we should both work again” and his response was “OK, how about you work? I’m good.” I’m not surprised at all at what happened.
- balfirevic 5y ago
  Well, it's a perfectly reasonable response.
fossuser 5y ago
I think we agree more than we disagree and you're being more hostile than necessary. > "it seems pretty clear that not doing anything to fix XYZ - in this case working again and living more luxuriously - is being a bad partner." Yeah - and the why is the bit I was getting at. They have a core value disagreement here, it's likely to be a common one given sexual selective incentives and behavior. I'm not making a moral judgement, but that's likely the truth. It also sounded like she didn't want to work again - it's unclear if she wanted them both to work, or just for him to work. The podcast I linked is pretty good, men and women often cheat for different reasons, but her motivation here is a pretty textbook example. His comments are also in the context of her cheating on him and a breakup, so unsurprisingly skew negative.
- staticman2 5y ago
  It's an open question whether anything in the evolutionary psychology field should be given the label "likely the truth."