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This would predict that being tactless and accepting tactlessness from others are strongly correlated. I don't think they're that strongly correlated, and the

by nullc 5y ago

This would predict that being tactless and accepting tactlessness from others are strongly correlated. I don't think they're that strongly correlated, and the correlation that exists may just come from the fact that people with both no-tact filter and high intolerance of tactlessness are so undesirable to work with that you won't find them in many populations due to selection. People of reasonable emotional intelligence can work with tactless people and they can work with fragile people, but being asked to work with a tactless fragile person is asking for quite a bit more. :)

joe_the_user 5y ago
I'd say there are basically too ways in which "inconsiderate" statements appear. One way is in people who genuinely are not that good at anticipating how others will view a given statement. The other way is in people who by reflex assert dominance and so don't care what effect their statements are going to have. A given boss lashes out at subordinates both because they can and to continue to show them "who's boss". An emotionally incompetent employee may lash out at a boss and get fired because they don't aren't being emotionally aware. Even more, you can get a person who's always asserting dominance and they either rise to the very top or fall to the very bottom. Which is to say, there's a certain porousness between emotionally incompetent and "just being dick". "but being asked to work with a tactless fragile person is asking for quite a bit more. :)" No one can work with a tactless, fragile person. But plenty of people for tactless, fragile people.
hzhou321 5y ago
> This would predict that being tactless and accepting tactlessness from others are strongly correlated. This is because most of us will try to understand other people from their own perspectives. This is the case even when one tries to put themselves in other's shoes -- it often fall short because one simply doesn't have other's shoes.

by nullc 5y ago

joe_the_user 5y ago

I'd say there are basically too ways in which "inconsiderate" statements appear. One way is in people who genuinely are not that good at anticipating how others will view a given statement. The other way is in people who by reflex assert dominance and so don't care what effect their statements are going to have. A given boss lashes out at subordinates both because they can and to continue to show them "who's boss". An emotionally incompetent employee may lash out at a boss and get fired because they don't aren't being emotionally aware. Even more, you can get a person who's always asserting dominance and they either rise to the very top or fall to the very bottom. Which is to say, there's a certain porousness between emotionally incompetent and "just being dick". "but being asked to work with a tactless fragile person is asking for quite a bit more. :)" No one can work with a tactless, fragile person. But plenty of people for tactless, fragile people.

hzhou321 5y ago

> This would predict that being tactless and accepting tactlessness from others are strongly correlated. This is because most of us will try to understand other people from their own perspectives. This is the case even when one tries to put themselves in other's shoes -- it often fall short because one simply doesn't have other's shoes.