7 ms·

Amen. I’m a sober alcoholic, and if I died tomorrow I’d be content knowing that I did at least one worthwhile thing with the time I had: I helped another alcoho

Amen. I’m a sober alcoholic, and if I died tomorrow I’d be content knowing that I did at least one worthwhile thing with the time I had: I helped another alcoholic, a 23 year old man who tried to kill himself shortly before I met him, get sober and start working and move out of his mom’s basement and stand up straight and look other people in the eyes and then go and help a few other people stop drinking. Not a single professional accomplishment is within an order of magnitude of that level of fulfillment. Just help one f*cking person become more than they thought they could be and you’ll die happy—why didn’t they tell us it was this simple?

6510 5y ago
The whole society seems designed top down to keep us fighting and arguing, live at the expense of others is the mantra. It seems it took a lot of engineering to get us this far from our natural state of caring. The Chinese seem to indoctrinate with a slightly different model where you are to believe society comes before the individual. The sensible model seems rather obvious: One has to organize their own show before one is of [much] use to others. Until that time one should give the others the opportunity to help you with that and be grateful. Its not an embarrassment if you plan to do the same.
- ehnto 5y ago
  There has been a cost to individualism no doubt. There are a few culutures where, generally, the community comes first. I think you can cultivate that in a small way though, by taking part in volunteer programs in your community. I know it's a cliche recommendation but if you are feeling like we lack community then it's probably just because of how easy it is to separate yourself from it.
- nradov 5y ago
  Elevating society above the individual stifles innovation and leads to stagnation.
  - necovek 5y ago
    References?
BLKNSLVR 5y ago
That brings up an old memory for me: I used to work as a lifeguard at a pool for three or four years as I was going through uni. Nothing glamorous in that work, it's just very loosely managing young males showing off in front of young females. Except this one time some kid jumped in the deep end and whilst he surfaced, he couldn't reach the top of the side of the pool in order to stay at the surface, he was clutching at the side with that unmistakeable, wide-eyed panic face. I reached down, pulled him out, and he ran off to his mum / friends / whatever, I never saw him again. Was a three second interaction from seeing it to him being back on dry land. Possibly the best thing I've ever done in my life, and it was in my late teens. I get satisfaction from my intellectuality and general smarts, but for it really brighten my soul, it has to positively affect other people. The bottom line is a demanding bitch and no matter how much you give it will ask for ever more. A positive change in a fellow human being is intrinsically, life-affirmingly satisfying; even just a single-serve in a lifetime.
- 0-_-0 5y ago
  I vaguely recall a study where they took suicidal people and employed them as lifeguards with great results.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - josephg 5y ago
    It makes a lot of sense. There’s two types of depression (though their names elude me). There’s depression where there’s something wrong with your brain - and despite having a great life, your brain makes sad chemicals instead of happy ones. And then there’s depression where you feel sad because your life is missing purpose and meaning. Ie, being the person you are with the life you have, depression is a healthy response. Most depression is the second type. So I’m not surprised giving people purpose shows great results. It would have for me, too.
- malydok 5y ago
  It's an interesting fact that one could save many lives by donating to charities and yet wouldn't feel quite the same way about it. Clicking "donate" on a screen and filling in credit card details isn't as thrilling an experience as yours even if it achieves no less.
TriNetra 5y ago
When we do a selfless act we experience the joy from our soul – that's what we're truly are: an eternal, complete drop in the infinite ocean of pure consciousness. Our ego (which makes us feel that we're separate from others) binds us in layers and layers of conditioning, of labels and engages us in selfish acts, which only brings suffering and stress. Read about this discourse from Buddha to understand what we're missing – The Fruits of the Contemplative Life: https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/DN/DN02.html https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/DN/DN02.html
FreeSpeech 5y ago
> why didn’t they tell us it was this simple? Because it has an intangible effect on GDP. Our culture optimises for creating obedient worker drones who will capitulate to authority. Fostering empathy for others and leading children to a life of fulfilment conflicts with establishment incentives.
sokoloff 5y ago
> why didn’t they tell us it was this simple? I suspect different people probably did try to tell me versions of that, but it’s very hard to learn deep feelings from hearing other people talk or reading their words as compared to living it yourself. You can read about others’ heartbreak but you learn from your first few breakups. You can read about having kids but nothing prepares you for the deep feelings of parenting. Maybe being doomed to repeat the learnings others have had is part of the point?
castlecrasher2 5y ago
>why didn’t they tell us it was this simple? Say what you want about the ills that come with it, but religion has been telling us this since the dawn of time.
atatatat 5y ago
Thank you.
tailspin2019 5y ago
Amazing. Inspiring. Thanks for writing this.

6510 5y ago

The whole society seems designed top down to keep us fighting and arguing, live at the expense of others is the mantra. It seems it took a lot of engineering to get us this far from our natural state of caring. The Chinese seem to indoctrinate with a slightly different model where you are to believe society comes before the individual. The sensible model seems rather obvious: One has to organize their own show before one is of [much] use to others. Until that time one should give the others the opportunity to help you with that and be grateful. Its not an embarrassment if you plan to do the same.

ehnto 5y ago
There has been a cost to individualism no doubt. There are a few culutures where, generally, the community comes first. I think you can cultivate that in a small way though, by taking part in volunteer programs in your community. I know it's a cliche recommendation but if you are feeling like we lack community then it's probably just because of how easy it is to separate yourself from it.
nradov 5y ago
Elevating society above the individual stifles innovation and leads to stagnation.
- necovek 5y ago
  References?

BLKNSLVR 5y ago

That brings up an old memory for me: I used to work as a lifeguard at a pool for three or four years as I was going through uni. Nothing glamorous in that work, it's just very loosely managing young males showing off in front of young females. Except this one time some kid jumped in the deep end and whilst he surfaced, he couldn't reach the top of the side of the pool in order to stay at the surface, he was clutching at the side with that unmistakeable, wide-eyed panic face. I reached down, pulled him out, and he ran off to his mum / friends / whatever, I never saw him again. Was a three second interaction from seeing it to him being back on dry land. Possibly the best thing I've ever done in my life, and it was in my late teens. I get satisfaction from my intellectuality and general smarts, but for it really brighten my soul, it has to positively affect other people. The bottom line is a demanding bitch and no matter how much you give it will ask for ever more. A positive change in a fellow human being is intrinsically, life-affirmingly satisfying; even just a single-serve in a lifetime.

0-_-0 5y ago
I vaguely recall a study where they took suicidal people and employed them as lifeguards with great results.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- josephg 5y ago
  It makes a lot of sense. There’s two types of depression (though their names elude me). There’s depression where there’s something wrong with your brain - and despite having a great life, your brain makes sad chemicals instead of happy ones. And then there’s depression where you feel sad because your life is missing purpose and meaning. Ie, being the person you are with the life you have, depression is a healthy response. Most depression is the second type. So I’m not surprised giving people purpose shows great results. It would have for me, too.
malydok 5y ago
It's an interesting fact that one could save many lives by donating to charities and yet wouldn't feel quite the same way about it. Clicking "donate" on a screen and filling in credit card details isn't as thrilling an experience as yours even if it achieves no less.

TriNetra 5y ago

When we do a selfless act we experience the joy from our soul – that's what we're truly are: an eternal, complete drop in the infinite ocean of pure consciousness. Our ego (which makes us feel that we're separate from others) binds us in layers and layers of conditioning, of labels and engages us in selfish acts, which only brings suffering and stress. Read about this discourse from Buddha to understand what we're missing – The Fruits of the Contemplative Life: https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/DN/DN02.html https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/DN/DN02.html

FreeSpeech 5y ago

> why didn’t they tell us it was this simple? Because it has an intangible effect on GDP. Our culture optimises for creating obedient worker drones who will capitulate to authority. Fostering empathy for others and leading children to a life of fulfilment conflicts with establishment incentives.

sokoloff 5y ago

> why didn’t they tell us it was this simple? I suspect different people probably did try to tell me versions of that, but it’s very hard to learn deep feelings from hearing other people talk or reading their words as compared to living it yourself. You can read about others’ heartbreak but you learn from your first few breakups. You can read about having kids but nothing prepares you for the deep feelings of parenting. Maybe being doomed to repeat the learnings others have had is part of the point?

castlecrasher2 5y ago

>why didn’t they tell us it was this simple? Say what you want about the ills that come with it, but religion has been telling us this since the dawn of time.

atatatat 5y ago

Thank you.

tailspin2019 5y ago

Amazing. Inspiring. Thanks for writing this.