4 ms·

>Byuu as far as I know, identified as non-binary, which is why they started harassing him. Previously this comment contained an ill-mannered correction of the

>Byuu as far as I know, identified as non-binary, which is why they started harassing him. Previously this comment contained an ill-mannered correction of the mistaken pronoun usage. However, this is completely unnecessary so I will replace it with this message, and a reminder that Near used they/them pronouns. Apologies.

mkr-hn 5y ago
It's possible to be nonbinary and use any variety of pronouns. However, the letter from Near's friend used they/them, so that's probably the right set.
loeg 5y ago
Pretty tone-deaf and unnecessary to nitpick a eulogy.
- sodality2 5y ago
  This was not the eulogy quoted. Regardless, that was absolutely not my intention. I meant to highlight the pronoun misuse because I've seen a handful of comments here misgendering them, and it's really sad to see that happening to someone who just passed. My apologies if it came across as rude or tone-deaf. I attempted to edit after but I am on a mobile client that doesn't support it, nor even deleting comments.
  - hsbauauvhabzb 5y ago
    I’ve always been curious, is this intentional correcting of seemingly innocent mistakes actually something that non-cis people care about? There’s asshole intentional misgendering and there are legitimate accidents, which can be a slip of the tongue (I regularly misgender people accidentally, despite wanting to be respectful, I put it down to many decades of cis programming which I now need to undo). As a gay man I’m more than used to people assuming I’m straight, I don’t speak for all gay men but the consensus in our circle is to politely correct but not get obnoxious, I would guess other queer demographics would be similar.
    - sodality2 5y ago
      >is this intentional correcting of seemingly innocent mistakes actually something that non-cis people care about? By care about, do you mean "do they want it to be done" or "do they mind if it's done"? I have trans friends who have asked me in the past to correct people on their behalf privately because they don't want to make a big deal out of it. I do believe it was an innocent mistake.
      - mxmilkiib 5y ago
        As enby and trans, I've voted your first (edited) and second comments back up.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

mkr-hn 5y ago

It's possible to be nonbinary and use any variety of pronouns. However, the letter from Near's friend used they/them, so that's probably the right set.

loeg 5y ago

Pretty tone-deaf and unnecessary to nitpick a eulogy.

sodality2 5y ago
This was not the eulogy quoted. Regardless, that was absolutely not my intention. I meant to highlight the pronoun misuse because I've seen a handful of comments here misgendering them, and it's really sad to see that happening to someone who just passed. My apologies if it came across as rude or tone-deaf. I attempted to edit after but I am on a mobile client that doesn't support it, nor even deleting comments.
- hsbauauvhabzb 5y ago
  I’ve always been curious, is this intentional correcting of seemingly innocent mistakes actually something that non-cis people care about? There’s asshole intentional misgendering and there are legitimate accidents, which can be a slip of the tongue (I regularly misgender people accidentally, despite wanting to be respectful, I put it down to many decades of cis programming which I now need to undo). As a gay man I’m more than used to people assuming I’m straight, I don’t speak for all gay men but the consensus in our circle is to politely correct but not get obnoxious, I would guess other queer demographics would be similar.
  - sodality2 5y ago
    >is this intentional correcting of seemingly innocent mistakes actually something that non-cis people care about? By care about, do you mean "do they want it to be done" or "do they mind if it's done"? I have trans friends who have asked me in the past to correct people on their behalf privately because they don't want to make a big deal out of it. I do believe it was an innocent mistake.
    - mxmilkiib 5y ago
      As enby and trans, I've voted your first (edited) and second comments back up.
deleted 5y ago
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