5 ms·

> According to my child's world view, I need to ask them every day what their pronouns are today. And any accidental slip-ups on any adult's part are a demonstr

by jolux 5y ago

> According to my child's world view, I need to ask them every day what their pronouns are today. And any accidental slip-ups on any adult's part are a demonstration of transphobia, which justifies a raised voice and lecture. I agree that their request is unreasonable, and I'm sorry for the stress it's causing you. I can't really justify their behavior on a rational basis (teens, right?). And obviously I don't know your child, and I don't know you, but as a trans person who went through a similar phase, maybe consider what they might be thinking if you want to understand why they might be behaving like this? For one thing, they almost certainly know your opinions about the persistence of trans identity and online echo chambers of gender identity. If (real if) you're hostile to the idea that they could really be trans, it's possible they feel hostile to the idea that you could really be making a good faith best effort to support them, which is what this sounds like to me: defensiveness. I had a very similar dynamic with my parents for several years. We came out of it understanding each other a lot better, but it was certainly rough in the thick of it. I really hope you can find a way to resolve the tension.

AIX2ESXI 5y ago
It's brainwashing of the highest order, what is happening to our young people. Professor Sam Valkin on Youtube elaborates on all this nonsense. Powerful forces seek to manipulate impressionable minds and make them question their own gender. The more educated and socially connected you are, the more you are at risk of the inversion tactics.
- klyrs 5y ago
  What are these "powerful forces"?
  - AIX2ESXI 5y ago
    Nation States, Corporations, Moguls that that have no moral compass and use control matrices to sway minds. E.G. did you know that Snapchat is biggest peddler of child porn? Or how about Only fans being a legal pimp for narcissists and their enablers?
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
    - klyrs 5y ago
      Can you explain what a control matrix is and how one might use it to sway minds? Would it bore you if increasingly many transgender people are expressing their identities because that feels safer than that used to?
- rootusrootus 5y ago
  > Powerful forces seek to manipulate impressionable minds and make them question their own gender. To what end?
  - reducesuffering 5y ago
    Not to actually accuse about this topic, but from a motive perspective, there are three powerful countries with first-rate technologists on the internet, all with proven hacking attacks, and all benefit from the weakening of the western world. They are also all generally allies against the rest of the world.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
    - AIX2ESXI 5y ago
      Well said. You know your stuff.
    - wyattpeak 5y ago
      Even as conspiracy theories go, "the Chinese are trying to turn our kids trans" is a wild one.
      - reducesuffering 5y ago
        Again, that's not what I'm insinuating. Only that the first part, "Powerful forces seek to manipulate impressionable minds," does have motive and precedence. Just trying to answer "to what end?"
      - 5560675260 5y ago
        It sure sounds wild when strawmanned like this. Now "the Chinese will use any opportunity to reduce cohesion in western society, in particular by poring gas into culture war fire" is uncharitable, probably wrong, but plausible.
  - AIX2ESXI 5y ago
btilly 5y ago
If (real if) you're hostile to the idea that they could really be trans, it's possible they feel hostile to the idea that you could really be making a good faith best effort to support them, which is what this sounds like to me: defensiveness. True, you don't know me. When my child came out as pan, a few days later we had arranged for a trip to an old friend of mine who is a trans-woman, a lesbian, and who had a non-binary friend who was staying with her. I regret the fact that you had a difficult relationship with your parents. I've seen that story play out. However I'm pretty confident that I'm not actually transphobic. My concern is not that I don't want a child who is trans, my concern is about what is best for my child's long-term well-being.
- jolux 5y ago
  There's no need to get defensive, I'm just trying to help because you said you didn't understand why your kid was being unreasonable, and what the line was in trying to support them. I'm sure you have their best interests at heart. Feel free to ignore me fully, I'm just some idiot on the internet. > However I'm pretty confident that I'm not actually transphobic. I don't know where you got it from, but the rhetoric you're using in this thread is extremely common in transphobic spaces, for what it's worth. Describing this as an ideology, claiming most girls end up desisting, that transition will "backfire" in most cases, and so on. Trans people recognize this language as coded transphobia, and an attempt to delegitimize them. These claims more or less originate from transphobes and dubious science, which is why I recommended WPATH, which clarifies the many different paths people take in dealing with dysphoria.
  - sirmike_ 5y ago
    Parents make mistakes all the time. It’s a milestone of parenting. A child is a child and knows nothing. Not even themselves up to a certain age. But that’s how we are all born. Not knowing anything, until we do. Then we all make a shit ton of mistakes and learn some more. Whether a child is this or that has to be ALWAYS balanced against the back drop of their best interests. It’s one thing to be supportive and empathetic. It’s another thing to bow down to worship your child and let them run the show. The trans issue has risen to a point where society must face it and figure out the bigger questions of how can we accommodate them and yet balance and find natural limits. We are so fucking far away from that point. And we will get there eventually. I agree with the parent comment saying the trans issue is way over sampled and is or has become some kinda trend. It just is. Clearly their child showcases the main point of children know nothing when the child mis-understands what true transphobia is versus a childlike ignorance of parroting a concept they just heard about. Why is that? Well it never changes from generation to generation. If you have kids at some point they learn about attention and how to use it. It’s kinda like personal preferences. Is it transphobic to say you are only attracted to the opposite sex and would never date or consider a trans person in a romantic relationship? Nope. But it’s a sure fired way to keep eyeballs on the screen and people in their rigid political groups. Like this parent (although I will be more brutal) I could give two shits if they felt they were a trex or were a girl or a boy. I don’t care. What matters is that I raise a kind hearted, compassionate human being who understands the world is not your friend. And can find their grit and true will when they need it. There’s book loads more to this but boiled down I’m doing my best to not raise an inconsiderate asshole. Because they must be held to account and told when they are in fact acting like an inconsiderate asshole.

by jolux 5y ago

AIX2ESXI 5y ago

It's brainwashing of the highest order, what is happening to our young people. Professor Sam Valkin on Youtube elaborates on all this nonsense. Powerful forces seek to manipulate impressionable minds and make them question their own gender. The more educated and socially connected you are, the more you are at risk of the inversion tactics.

klyrs 5y ago
What are these "powerful forces"?
- AIX2ESXI 5y ago
  Nation States, Corporations, Moguls that that have no moral compass and use control matrices to sway minds. E.G. did you know that Snapchat is biggest peddler of child porn? Or how about Only fans being a legal pimp for narcissists and their enablers?
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - klyrs 5y ago
    Can you explain what a control matrix is and how one might use it to sway minds? Would it bore you if increasingly many transgender people are expressing their identities because that feels safer than that used to?
rootusrootus 5y ago
> Powerful forces seek to manipulate impressionable minds and make them question their own gender. To what end?
- reducesuffering 5y ago
  Not to actually accuse about this topic, but from a motive perspective, there are three powerful countries with first-rate technologists on the internet, all with proven hacking attacks, and all benefit from the weakening of the western world. They are also all generally allies against the rest of the world.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - AIX2ESXI 5y ago
    Well said. You know your stuff.
  - wyattpeak 5y ago
    Even as conspiracy theories go, "the Chinese are trying to turn our kids trans" is a wild one.
    - reducesuffering 5y ago
      Again, that's not what I'm insinuating. Only that the first part, "Powerful forces seek to manipulate impressionable minds," does have motive and precedence. Just trying to answer "to what end?"
    - 5560675260 5y ago
      It sure sounds wild when strawmanned like this. Now "the Chinese will use any opportunity to reduce cohesion in western society, in particular by poring gas into culture war fire" is uncharitable, probably wrong, but plausible.
- AIX2ESXI 5y ago

btilly 5y ago

If (real if) you're hostile to the idea that they could really be trans, it's possible they feel hostile to the idea that you could really be making a good faith best effort to support them, which is what this sounds like to me: defensiveness. True, you don't know me. When my child came out as pan, a few days later we had arranged for a trip to an old friend of mine who is a trans-woman, a lesbian, and who had a non-binary friend who was staying with her. I regret the fact that you had a difficult relationship with your parents. I've seen that story play out. However I'm pretty confident that I'm not actually transphobic. My concern is not that I don't want a child who is trans, my concern is about what is best for my child's long-term well-being.

jolux 5y ago
There's no need to get defensive, I'm just trying to help because you said you didn't understand why your kid was being unreasonable, and what the line was in trying to support them. I'm sure you have their best interests at heart. Feel free to ignore me fully, I'm just some idiot on the internet. > However I'm pretty confident that I'm not actually transphobic. I don't know where you got it from, but the rhetoric you're using in this thread is extremely common in transphobic spaces, for what it's worth. Describing this as an ideology, claiming most girls end up desisting, that transition will "backfire" in most cases, and so on. Trans people recognize this language as coded transphobia, and an attempt to delegitimize them. These claims more or less originate from transphobes and dubious science, which is why I recommended WPATH, which clarifies the many different paths people take in dealing with dysphoria.
- sirmike_ 5y ago
  Parents make mistakes all the time. It’s a milestone of parenting. A child is a child and knows nothing. Not even themselves up to a certain age. But that’s how we are all born. Not knowing anything, until we do. Then we all make a shit ton of mistakes and learn some more. Whether a child is this or that has to be ALWAYS balanced against the back drop of their best interests. It’s one thing to be supportive and empathetic. It’s another thing to bow down to worship your child and let them run the show. The trans issue has risen to a point where society must face it and figure out the bigger questions of how can we accommodate them and yet balance and find natural limits. We are so fucking far away from that point. And we will get there eventually. I agree with the parent comment saying the trans issue is way over sampled and is or has become some kinda trend. It just is. Clearly their child showcases the main point of children know nothing when the child mis-understands what true transphobia is versus a childlike ignorance of parroting a concept they just heard about. Why is that? Well it never changes from generation to generation. If you have kids at some point they learn about attention and how to use it. It’s kinda like personal preferences. Is it transphobic to say you are only attracted to the opposite sex and would never date or consider a trans person in a romantic relationship? Nope. But it’s a sure fired way to keep eyeballs on the screen and people in their rigid political groups. Like this parent (although I will be more brutal) I could give two shits if they felt they were a trex or were a girl or a boy. I don’t care. What matters is that I raise a kind hearted, compassionate human being who understands the world is not your friend. And can find their grit and true will when they need it. There’s book loads more to this but boiled down I’m doing my best to not raise an inconsiderate asshole. Because they must be held to account and told when they are in fact acting like an inconsiderate asshole.