6 ms·

And online dating is massively biased towards women, so more and more men are being left out.

martinky24 5y ago
incel culture shit right here
tacker2000 5y ago
Yea somewhat of course, since they are swamped with requests, but i would say that probably it is more biased towards people of both genders who look good on photos and who can sell themselves. “The top 10% get all the matches” so to speak. Anyway its an interesting time we are in. One company (Match) owns like 90% of the dating apps and gets to “dictate” the future procreation of our species, if we put it in extreme terms.
- symlinkk 5y ago
  And why are women swamped with requests do you think?
  - foogazi 5y ago
    Because there are more men than women using the service: https://www.statista.com/statistics/975925/us-tinder-user-ratio-gender/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/975925/us-tinder-user-ra... But if there are proportionally less women than men, why would men look for them there ?
    - symlinkk 5y ago
      Ok, so why are there less women on dating apps? There’s a roughly equal number of men and women in the general population.
      - whynotminot 5y ago
        Just a hunch, I think a solid proportion of women can have a reasonable dating life sort of just by going about their lives regularly. Women have dating opportunities present themselves pretty organically on a regular basis (for better or worse). Most men don't have this. If a man wants a woman, he's gotta go pursue one. Dating apps present a lower-threat/easier way for men to pursue.
        hungryforcodes 5y ago
        That really doesn't have to be true at all. There are places where women are going to be happy to talk to you, and even share their number with you, if you seem nice. Even in the west -- which is probably the worst for dating, I'll admit -- you can just join clubs or go to house parties or dinner parties, or events, and meet people that way. Most of my girlfriends I met "organically" just by being myself in normal social situations and having a group of friends.
        Shugarl 5y ago
        I'd argue most men don't share your experience, which is why online dating services have much more men than they have women.
        hungryforcodes 5y ago
        Most men...in this thread? Because I know alot who are very successful with women, have gotten married and had families...by just going out and being social. You should try socializing or dating in another country then. If you are not having luck "here" (where ever that is), why keep repeating the pattern?
        whynotminot 5y ago
        No of course there are places in the real world where women will talk to you. I too have been to parties. Lol But even in a social setting where there is opportunity for co-mingling, men generally still have to be the ones who "make the move" right? At least in my experience. Start the conversation, feel out the situation, ask for the phone number if things seem to be going well. That's a male-driven process that takes some calibrated effort (be charming without overdoing it, try without appearing to try, etc). At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me. What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women. Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with.
pacman2 5y ago
You need to be very good looking (in pictures) to have success. I am a womanizer but not big in Tinder. I once used the Tinder of an ex girl friend (with her permission) and told her, I find one for you. She was okay looking but not super attractive. Match rate of the guys I chose for her was 100%. Basically most guys use the App like : yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
Analemma_ 5y ago
Have you ever talked to any women about their experience with online dating? 100% of the women I have discussed it with would not agree with your claim that it is “massively biased” towards them; they find it just as miserable as we do.
- bufferoverflow 5y ago
  No, they don't. Most women have no idea how bad it is for most men. An average woman is offered sex all the time. An average man - pretty much never. https://youtu.be/RCsiNSA7sgs https://youtu.be/RCsiNSA7sgs When women try Tinder as men, they see how much harder it is
  - JackPoach 5y ago
    I wouldn't say it's 'harder', it's 'different' is many respects. It's true that women are way more frequently propositioned for sex than men (talking heterosexual relationships here) and it's basically up to women if sex is going to happen or not. However, after sex happens, it's up to a man if he is going to have sex again with this woman or not and if he's going to have exclusively this this woman or not. Obviously, women too make these choices as they may or may not want to have something more than a one-night stand and keep relationship open or exclusive. Most common complaint that women make about online dating experience is that men have sex once or several times, but refuse to commit and may entirely 'ghost' them. So in this respect it doesn't seem to be accurate to describe online dating as 'easy' for women and 'difficult' for men. Instead there are different issue for opposite genders, but you can still use online dating to achieve whatever goals you have, regardless of your gender. Just don't blame men, women or dating apps - relationships can be hard work for many of us, especially if you have disadvantages, like appearances, income level, personal issues, past history, criminal record, substance abuse, etc.
    - bufferoverflow 5y ago
      So you basically agreed that most women have unlimited access to sex, while most men don't. Ghosting happens on both sides. Most men can't even get to that stage.
gbersac 5y ago
Dating has always been based toward women. Online dating is just a reflection of that reality

incel culture shit right here

tacker2000 5y ago

Yea somewhat of course, since they are swamped with requests, but i would say that probably it is more biased towards people of both genders who look good on photos and who can sell themselves. “The top 10% get all the matches” so to speak. Anyway its an interesting time we are in. One company (Match) owns like 90% of the dating apps and gets to “dictate” the future procreation of our species, if we put it in extreme terms.

symlinkk 5y ago
And why are women swamped with requests do you think?
- foogazi 5y ago
  Because there are more men than women using the service: https://www.statista.com/statistics/975925/us-tinder-user-ratio-gender/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/975925/us-tinder-user-ra... But if there are proportionally less women than men, why would men look for them there ?
  - symlinkk 5y ago
    Ok, so why are there less women on dating apps? There’s a roughly equal number of men and women in the general population.
    - whynotminot 5y ago
      Just a hunch, I think a solid proportion of women can have a reasonable dating life sort of just by going about their lives regularly. Women have dating opportunities present themselves pretty organically on a regular basis (for better or worse). Most men don't have this. If a man wants a woman, he's gotta go pursue one. Dating apps present a lower-threat/easier way for men to pursue.
      - hungryforcodes 5y ago
        That really doesn't have to be true at all. There are places where women are going to be happy to talk to you, and even share their number with you, if you seem nice. Even in the west -- which is probably the worst for dating, I'll admit -- you can just join clubs or go to house parties or dinner parties, or events, and meet people that way. Most of my girlfriends I met "organically" just by being myself in normal social situations and having a group of friends.
        Shugarl 5y ago
        I'd argue most men don't share your experience, which is why online dating services have much more men than they have women.
        hungryforcodes 5y ago
        Most men...in this thread? Because I know alot who are very successful with women, have gotten married and had families...by just going out and being social. You should try socializing or dating in another country then. If you are not having luck "here" (where ever that is), why keep repeating the pattern?
        whynotminot 5y ago
        No of course there are places in the real world where women will talk to you. I too have been to parties. Lol But even in a social setting where there is opportunity for co-mingling, men generally still have to be the ones who "make the move" right? At least in my experience. Start the conversation, feel out the situation, ask for the phone number if things seem to be going well. That's a male-driven process that takes some calibrated effort (be charming without overdoing it, try without appearing to try, etc). At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me. What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women. Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with.

pacman2 5y ago

You need to be very good looking (in pictures) to have success. I am a womanizer but not big in Tinder. I once used the Tinder of an ex girl friend (with her permission) and told her, I find one for you. She was okay looking but not super attractive. Match rate of the guys I chose for her was 100%. Basically most guys use the App like : yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...

Analemma_ 5y ago

Have you ever talked to any women about their experience with online dating? 100% of the women I have discussed it with would not agree with your claim that it is “massively biased” towards them; they find it just as miserable as we do.

bufferoverflow 5y ago
No, they don't. Most women have no idea how bad it is for most men. An average woman is offered sex all the time. An average man - pretty much never. https://youtu.be/RCsiNSA7sgs https://youtu.be/RCsiNSA7sgs When women try Tinder as men, they see how much harder it is
- JackPoach 5y ago
  I wouldn't say it's 'harder', it's 'different' is many respects. It's true that women are way more frequently propositioned for sex than men (talking heterosexual relationships here) and it's basically up to women if sex is going to happen or not. However, after sex happens, it's up to a man if he is going to have sex again with this woman or not and if he's going to have exclusively this this woman or not. Obviously, women too make these choices as they may or may not want to have something more than a one-night stand and keep relationship open or exclusive. Most common complaint that women make about online dating experience is that men have sex once or several times, but refuse to commit and may entirely 'ghost' them. So in this respect it doesn't seem to be accurate to describe online dating as 'easy' for women and 'difficult' for men. Instead there are different issue for opposite genders, but you can still use online dating to achieve whatever goals you have, regardless of your gender. Just don't blame men, women or dating apps - relationships can be hard work for many of us, especially if you have disadvantages, like appearances, income level, personal issues, past history, criminal record, substance abuse, etc.
  - bufferoverflow 5y ago
    So you basically agreed that most women have unlimited access to sex, while most men don't. Ghosting happens on both sides. Most men can't even get to that stage.

gbersac 5y ago

Dating has always been based toward women. Online dating is just a reflection of that reality