5 ms·

Why wouldn't you date someone younger? At 31 assuming you have your life reasonably together and aren't living in some rural area (or san francisco lol) you can

Why wouldn't you date someone younger? At 31 assuming you have your life reasonably together and aren't living in some rural area (or san francisco lol) you can definitely meet attractive and interesting women 25+ that would be interested in settling down on your timeframe. Dating is all about self fulfilling prophecies so if you're telling yourself there are no women available that's what you're going to manifest.

ramesh31 5y ago
>and aren't living in some rural area (or san francisco lol) That was a good laugh. I think in retrospect spending my 20s in San Francisco had a lot to do with now being single in my 30s.
- dragosmocrii 5y ago
  Why is that? What's wrong with SF for dating? (just curious)
  - ramesh31 5y ago
    >"Why is that? What's wrong with SF for dating? (just curious)" Where to begin? The tech industry is massively skewed towards male, so right off the bat your odds of meeting someone in your work life is near nil. Then, with the complete lack of affordable housing, there's no such thing as just being a single 20-something living independently and supporting yourself on a non-tech salary. Bare minimum subsistence income is about $80k. So that filters out the vast majority of women who are in non-tech careers and simply cannot afford to move there. At that point you're basically left with the lucky few locals who have parents that bought houses in the 80s/90s and live with them rent free, or the unicorn types who make enough to live in SF independently. From that vanishingly small pool of women, you're now competing with the guys who made startup money or have the $300k+ FAANG gigs and can afford luxury vacations, nice condos, BMWs, etc. An average dude doesn't stand a chance.
    - bradlys 5y ago
      Don’t feel too bad about the highly paid tech dudes. Tech dudes don’t stand a chance either because women don’t want to date another tech dude. I’m turning 31 in a couple months and am coming out of a 5 year relationship. It’s looking grim AF. My only real hope is that I get back with my ex eventually. I did the fancy vacations. I have the high income (~400k). I have a reasonably high net worth for my age (~2M). Even have the BMW! Didn’t stop her from walking away because she didn’t wanna date just a miserable workaholic techie anymore!! Honestly, the best candidates that I think many women are aiming for aren’t the tech guys. It’s the guys with rich families. They’re the ones I see not really having any issues because they don’t really need to have any kind of shit job. They got parental money after all.
      - Dracophoenix 5y ago
        Would you say that the gender ratio also counts against you as a factor? Do you think you would be probably better off dating transnationally or internationally? Oh, and what kind of Bimmer?
        bradlys 5y ago
        135is convertible. Sporty, outrageously loud, and full of fun. I’d get a 1M but no drop top kills it for me. Also, I don’t have to feel as bad for driving it because a 1M is a collectible now. Gender ratio is definitely horrible. Likely the worst factor against straight men. It’s obvious everywhere. Dating in other cities is likely a lot better (especially not on the west coast AFAICT). It’s no surprise that most long term couples I’ve met in SF have met outside the Bay Area. I’ve heard access to the best dating in SF is by getting a cab down to SFO and flying anywhere else.
        Dracophoenix 5y ago
        Is dating really that bad across the entire west coast? Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles, and San Diego included? As far as your own dating life is concerned, what do you intend to do for yourself given how bad the circumstances are for you?
  - volkk 5y ago
    probably because its very heavily skewed towards tech dudes

ramesh31 5y ago

>and aren't living in some rural area (or san francisco lol) That was a good laugh. I think in retrospect spending my 20s in San Francisco had a lot to do with now being single in my 30s.

dragosmocrii 5y ago
Why is that? What's wrong with SF for dating? (just curious)
- ramesh31 5y ago
  >"Why is that? What's wrong with SF for dating? (just curious)" Where to begin? The tech industry is massively skewed towards male, so right off the bat your odds of meeting someone in your work life is near nil. Then, with the complete lack of affordable housing, there's no such thing as just being a single 20-something living independently and supporting yourself on a non-tech salary. Bare minimum subsistence income is about $80k. So that filters out the vast majority of women who are in non-tech careers and simply cannot afford to move there. At that point you're basically left with the lucky few locals who have parents that bought houses in the 80s/90s and live with them rent free, or the unicorn types who make enough to live in SF independently. From that vanishingly small pool of women, you're now competing with the guys who made startup money or have the $300k+ FAANG gigs and can afford luxury vacations, nice condos, BMWs, etc. An average dude doesn't stand a chance.
  - bradlys 5y ago
    Don’t feel too bad about the highly paid tech dudes. Tech dudes don’t stand a chance either because women don’t want to date another tech dude. I’m turning 31 in a couple months and am coming out of a 5 year relationship. It’s looking grim AF. My only real hope is that I get back with my ex eventually. I did the fancy vacations. I have the high income (~400k). I have a reasonably high net worth for my age (~2M). Even have the BMW! Didn’t stop her from walking away because she didn’t wanna date just a miserable workaholic techie anymore!! Honestly, the best candidates that I think many women are aiming for aren’t the tech guys. It’s the guys with rich families. They’re the ones I see not really having any issues because they don’t really need to have any kind of shit job. They got parental money after all.
    - Dracophoenix 5y ago
      Would you say that the gender ratio also counts against you as a factor? Do you think you would be probably better off dating transnationally or internationally? Oh, and what kind of Bimmer?
      - bradlys 5y ago
        135is convertible. Sporty, outrageously loud, and full of fun. I’d get a 1M but no drop top kills it for me. Also, I don’t have to feel as bad for driving it because a 1M is a collectible now. Gender ratio is definitely horrible. Likely the worst factor against straight men. It’s obvious everywhere. Dating in other cities is likely a lot better (especially not on the west coast AFAICT). It’s no surprise that most long term couples I’ve met in SF have met outside the Bay Area. I’ve heard access to the best dating in SF is by getting a cab down to SFO and flying anywhere else.
        Dracophoenix 5y ago
        Is dating really that bad across the entire west coast? Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles, and San Diego included? As far as your own dating life is concerned, what do you intend to do for yourself given how bad the circumstances are for you?
- volkk 5y ago
  probably because its very heavily skewed towards tech dudes