This isn't especially strange or complicated. I guess you're just trying to be witty? But it comes across as pretty ignorant. Yeah if Uber was born today and

This isn't especially strange or complicated. I guess you're just trying to be witty? But it comes across as pretty ignorant. Yeah if Uber was born today and didn't want to use any on-prem resources they'd use S3, but HDFS is the best alternative to object storage out there, and there's a huge ecosystem of tools around it. If you're running your own datacenter, there's not any serious alternative.