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> My animal is only 33 and is very tired In life satisfaction surveys, your 30’s are the most miserable stressful part of life. Highest amount of responsibilit

by Swizec 6y ago

> My animal is only 33 and is very tired In life satisfaction surveys, your 30’s are the most miserable stressful part of life. Highest amount of responsibilities, lowest amount of consistent reward, and it keeps getting worse until your 40’s Apparently it gets better again in your late 40’s and early 50’s. By 60 you’re as happy as you were at 20. https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/scientists-just-discovered-mid-life-crisis-peaks-at-age-47-heres-how-to-minimize-effect-of-happiness-curve.html https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/scientists-just-discovered-mi... (am 33 and also just ... tired)

yamrzou 6y ago
Thanks, that's a bit relieving.
- ChrisMarshallNY 6y ago
  I'm 59, and pretty darn happy. I get aches and pains from everything, though. My back is still aching from weeding a week and a half ago.
Aeolun 6y ago
Isn't this just caused by you leaving your 20's behind? At least for me I feel like I passed by my best years, and am only realizing it now. By 60 I certainly hope to have accepted that, but right now it's still a bit hard.
- Swizec 6y ago
  I suspect the confounding variable is that late 20’s/early 30’s is when most people have kids. Happiness levels improve in late 50’s when kids are out of the house. Kids may be “a complete joy and the best thing you’ve ever done”, but they’re also a huge financial burden, source of stress, and limiter on doing what you wanna do.
  - rubicon33 6y ago
    For the record, I (op) do not have kids. I am however married and very happy with my marriage.
    - RhodoGSA 6y ago
      lean on her more. Rely on her for comfort and if she reciprocates, it will make you feel better. You and her against the world, bonnie and clyde vibes got me through a dark time in my life.
      - themarlzy 5y ago
        I don’t understand why this would get downvoted?
  - dimitrios1 6y ago
    This is certainly a take. My children, one of the greatest sources of pure, unadulterated, innocent joy, are the only reason I believe there is still good in the world and thankful that this floating rock continues to revolve around the sun so I get to enjoy them. The stress of the children and the hard work is so minuscule in comparison.
    - Swizec 6y ago
      Got a better explanation? I think it’s possible for both to be true. That kids give you unadulterated joy and also make you objectively worse off.
      - bitexploder 6y ago
        Generally, what I have seen, people report greater overall satisfaction with their lives if they have kids. Cant be bothered to dig up the data, but I have read about it a number of times over the years. However, deep in your 20s and 30s is when careers are taking off, kids are at their most demanding ages, etc. it’s rare to be fully established in your career when your kids are young. That means lower earnings. So, yeah, it’s stressful. It’s also rewarding. My kids are older now. They bring my joy and all that. My mid 20s were also really hard when my kids were born. I think its all pretty obvious. Kids are like type 2 fun more than type 1 for most people. I appreciate them and watching them develop was quite an amazing process, and it brought me a lot of satisfaction, but it was also hard. I think a lot of parents take umbrage at saying their kids made them worse off, it really depends on what criteria you are using? Financial? Life satisfaction? Other? Most parents probably don’t /feel/ worse off in a general way.
- ehnto 6y ago
  In the age we live in it is entirely socially acceptable to be living a 20s lifestyle in your 30s and beyond. Few people I know are tied down to much if anything and enjoy travel, sport, relationships for fun and all the things your 20s are known for. Just much less binge drinking, which is honestly a blessing.
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
neonological 6y ago
The causative factor for the result of the surveys is kids.
- vmception 6y ago
  I was thinking that, as I was wondering what these people are doing differently and wonder if that different thing was actually conventional rites of passage.
- muzani 6y ago
  Really young kids especially. It's weird because having a baby is both one of the most fulfilling parts of life but also drains you massively. I suppose the fulfillment is part of a biological desire to reproduce.
  - tidenly 6y ago
    Right - I think we get a lot of in-built satisfaction and pleasure from being around or raising kids, specifically to offset just how annoying and difficult the task of raising them is.
    - piva00 6y ago
      I definitely have this built-in feeling quite broken. I left the door open to perhaps consider forming a family at some point since my first girlfriend, over the years it's only got more clear that I don't enjoy kids, at all. I don't take enjoyment from being around kids, playing with kids or any kind of interaction with them, it makes me feel broken but I simply can't. Not even with my niece, my sisters get a lot of joy out of simply being around her, for me it's a massive energy drain, and it's been like that with every kid I had to be close to due to family or friends ties. I'm so tired of feeling this way, now getting into my early to mid-30s and having to explain to people over and over that I do understand the ones who want kids, the ones who get enjoyment out of them, but I don't, at all. I never have and it's only got more cemented over time. Lately I just put a façade of telling that someone's kid is cute, etc., as it's the social norm. If I was being very honest I'd just say that I don't enjoy kids, don't mind hanging out with people who have kids when they are around but I don't get any energy from having to interact with them.
01100011 6y ago
Really? In my 30s I felt on top of the world. Enough wisdom to put my knowledge to good use and a fit body that only had the occasional ache. Everything went downhill around 42 though. Eyesight, hearing, processing speed, memory, sleep apnea, weight gain, hair loss, ED... I have to be on some combination of marijuana to sleep and modafinil to wake up. Exercise helps but the gains fade fast so it's basically a 10% tax on my waking hours to keep things from fading faster. Oh and when you're 40 something no one gives a shit. You're not old enough to pity, but you're old enough to be responsible for everything. You just have to keep slugging it out with reality until your mid 60s.
- andykx 6y ago
  Exercise is probably the best thing you can do to improve your longevity. I don't have a source, but I don't think this is a controversial idea. Even long walks can help (though as someone who lives in the middle of nowhere, I can understand if this is not possible). I'm only 28, but I find that long walks on the treadmill (with my laptop in front of me, while I'm working) can really make me feel a lot better. I do have a general fitness routine I keep up with though, so that likely plays a role here. One thing that has helped me immeasurably is taking up a hobby that gets me outside and doing some manual labor. I love gardening and I'd suggest it to anyone. I have shed several inches off my waistband since starting to garden and I find myself spending considerably less time in front of the computer screen just wasting time.
  - kaidon 6y ago
    I used to love excercise -- but a decade of power-lifting at the gym and going hard from 25-36 has destroyed my back/shoulders/hips... everything. Have been enjoying the longest streak of sciatica-free pain for the last 8 months since gyms have been locked down due to COVID. Still get out and walk lots, but I really wish I had been far more moderate with excercise when I was younger.
    - Taylor_OD 5y ago
      Yup. I wrestled in high school and college and very much destroyed my body. I lifted for years after in a way that wasnt helpful either. Now I'm getting close to 30 and I have found ways to exercise that are actually rewarding rather than mostly taxing on my body but man do I wish someone would have showed me this when I was in my 20's. And told me that pain was actually a good indicator that one is pushing too hard with exercise.
Chris2048 6y ago
I was pretty unhappy as a teenager. Not as much formal responsibility (though arguably the responsibilities wrt study etc have more serious consequences), but more autonomy at least.
- Chris2048 5y ago
  sorry, I mean now I have more autonomy; i.e. owning stuff/money, making choices wrt my life; but lack the free time I had.

by Swizec 6y ago

yamrzou 6y ago

Thanks, that's a bit relieving.

ChrisMarshallNY 6y ago
I'm 59, and pretty darn happy. I get aches and pains from everything, though. My back is still aching from weeding a week and a half ago.

Aeolun 6y ago

Isn't this just caused by you leaving your 20's behind? At least for me I feel like I passed by my best years, and am only realizing it now. By 60 I certainly hope to have accepted that, but right now it's still a bit hard.

Swizec 6y ago
I suspect the confounding variable is that late 20’s/early 30’s is when most people have kids. Happiness levels improve in late 50’s when kids are out of the house. Kids may be “a complete joy and the best thing you’ve ever done”, but they’re also a huge financial burden, source of stress, and limiter on doing what you wanna do.
- rubicon33 6y ago
  For the record, I (op) do not have kids. I am however married and very happy with my marriage.
  - RhodoGSA 6y ago
    lean on her more. Rely on her for comfort and if she reciprocates, it will make you feel better. You and her against the world, bonnie and clyde vibes got me through a dark time in my life.
    - themarlzy 5y ago
      I don’t understand why this would get downvoted?
- dimitrios1 6y ago
  This is certainly a take. My children, one of the greatest sources of pure, unadulterated, innocent joy, are the only reason I believe there is still good in the world and thankful that this floating rock continues to revolve around the sun so I get to enjoy them. The stress of the children and the hard work is so minuscule in comparison.
  - Swizec 6y ago
    Got a better explanation? I think it’s possible for both to be true. That kids give you unadulterated joy and also make you objectively worse off.
    - bitexploder 6y ago
      Generally, what I have seen, people report greater overall satisfaction with their lives if they have kids. Cant be bothered to dig up the data, but I have read about it a number of times over the years. However, deep in your 20s and 30s is when careers are taking off, kids are at their most demanding ages, etc. it’s rare to be fully established in your career when your kids are young. That means lower earnings. So, yeah, it’s stressful. It’s also rewarding. My kids are older now. They bring my joy and all that. My mid 20s were also really hard when my kids were born. I think its all pretty obvious. Kids are like type 2 fun more than type 1 for most people. I appreciate them and watching them develop was quite an amazing process, and it brought me a lot of satisfaction, but it was also hard. I think a lot of parents take umbrage at saying their kids made them worse off, it really depends on what criteria you are using? Financial? Life satisfaction? Other? Most parents probably don’t /feel/ worse off in a general way.
ehnto 6y ago
In the age we live in it is entirely socially acceptable to be living a 20s lifestyle in your 30s and beyond. Few people I know are tied down to much if anything and enjoy travel, sport, relationships for fun and all the things your 20s are known for. Just much less binge drinking, which is honestly a blessing.

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

neonological 6y ago

The causative factor for the result of the surveys is kids.

vmception 6y ago
I was thinking that, as I was wondering what these people are doing differently and wonder if that different thing was actually conventional rites of passage.
muzani 6y ago
Really young kids especially. It's weird because having a baby is both one of the most fulfilling parts of life but also drains you massively. I suppose the fulfillment is part of a biological desire to reproduce.
- tidenly 6y ago
  Right - I think we get a lot of in-built satisfaction and pleasure from being around or raising kids, specifically to offset just how annoying and difficult the task of raising them is.
  - piva00 6y ago
    I definitely have this built-in feeling quite broken. I left the door open to perhaps consider forming a family at some point since my first girlfriend, over the years it's only got more clear that I don't enjoy kids, at all. I don't take enjoyment from being around kids, playing with kids or any kind of interaction with them, it makes me feel broken but I simply can't. Not even with my niece, my sisters get a lot of joy out of simply being around her, for me it's a massive energy drain, and it's been like that with every kid I had to be close to due to family or friends ties. I'm so tired of feeling this way, now getting into my early to mid-30s and having to explain to people over and over that I do understand the ones who want kids, the ones who get enjoyment out of them, but I don't, at all. I never have and it's only got more cemented over time. Lately I just put a façade of telling that someone's kid is cute, etc., as it's the social norm. If I was being very honest I'd just say that I don't enjoy kids, don't mind hanging out with people who have kids when they are around but I don't get any energy from having to interact with them.

01100011 6y ago

Really? In my 30s I felt on top of the world. Enough wisdom to put my knowledge to good use and a fit body that only had the occasional ache. Everything went downhill around 42 though. Eyesight, hearing, processing speed, memory, sleep apnea, weight gain, hair loss, ED... I have to be on some combination of marijuana to sleep and modafinil to wake up. Exercise helps but the gains fade fast so it's basically a 10% tax on my waking hours to keep things from fading faster. Oh and when you're 40 something no one gives a shit. You're not old enough to pity, but you're old enough to be responsible for everything. You just have to keep slugging it out with reality until your mid 60s.

andykx 6y ago
Exercise is probably the best thing you can do to improve your longevity. I don't have a source, but I don't think this is a controversial idea. Even long walks can help (though as someone who lives in the middle of nowhere, I can understand if this is not possible). I'm only 28, but I find that long walks on the treadmill (with my laptop in front of me, while I'm working) can really make me feel a lot better. I do have a general fitness routine I keep up with though, so that likely plays a role here. One thing that has helped me immeasurably is taking up a hobby that gets me outside and doing some manual labor. I love gardening and I'd suggest it to anyone. I have shed several inches off my waistband since starting to garden and I find myself spending considerably less time in front of the computer screen just wasting time.
- kaidon 6y ago
  I used to love excercise -- but a decade of power-lifting at the gym and going hard from 25-36 has destroyed my back/shoulders/hips... everything. Have been enjoying the longest streak of sciatica-free pain for the last 8 months since gyms have been locked down due to COVID. Still get out and walk lots, but I really wish I had been far more moderate with excercise when I was younger.
  - Taylor_OD 5y ago
    Yup. I wrestled in high school and college and very much destroyed my body. I lifted for years after in a way that wasnt helpful either. Now I'm getting close to 30 and I have found ways to exercise that are actually rewarding rather than mostly taxing on my body but man do I wish someone would have showed me this when I was in my 20's. And told me that pain was actually a good indicator that one is pushing too hard with exercise.

Chris2048 6y ago

I was pretty unhappy as a teenager. Not as much formal responsibility (though arguably the responsibilities wrt study etc have more serious consequences), but more autonomy at least.

Chris2048 5y ago
sorry, I mean now I have more autonomy; i.e. owning stuff/money, making choices wrt my life; but lack the free time I had.