5 ms·

Get rich advisors, life style coaches, dating coaches. I don't really have respect for people who haven't actually accomplished anything aside from a grift. I

Get rich advisors, life style coaches, dating coaches. I don't really have respect for people who haven't actually accomplished anything aside from a grift. I do read books like Principals by Ray Dalio or I Love Capitalism! by Ken Langone.

chrisseaton 5y ago
Getting rich quickly is clearly a fantasy, but what's odd about life or dating coaching? Seems unlikely that someone who does dating coaching would never have had successful dates and wouldn't know what they're talking about?
- tcoff91 5y ago
  What's odd about life and dating coaching is it usually ends up in an unqualified person practicing psychological counseling.
- jordan_curve 5y ago
  I think “dating coaching” is usually a term used akin to “pick-up artist” i.e. using manipulative tricks to convince people to have sex with you. I don’t think having there’s anything wrong with having some sort of social interaction coach or the equivalent to help learn what the social norms around dating are. Although not usually for dating, that is a form of therapy that can be helpful for people on the autism spectrum who may have trouble understanding the social cues on their own.
  - phkahler 5y ago
    >> I don’t think having there’s anything wrong with having some sort of social interaction coach or the equivalent to help learn what the social norms around dating are. If you're looking for something long term why seek advice from someone that's chronically single but an expert at "dating". And if someone has been married a long time, they probably don't know anything about the current "dating scene". But if you just want to learn to hook up with lots of people then maybe they have something to teach you.
    - runawaybottle 5y ago
      They aren’t selling you dating tips, they are selling you a guide to have confidence. Part of making headway into a problem where someone has low confidence is building them up (in whatever way) to be less fearful. If you are deathly afraid of rejection, we pretty much have to hide a pill inside a donut so to speak, where one must be convinced the girl/guy across the table is no big deal. It’s a necessary evil sadly for people that suffer from chronic insecurity.
    - chrisseaton 5y ago
      > why seek advice from someone that's chronically single but an expert at "dating". And if someone has been married a long time, they probably don't know anything about the current "dating scene" Why seek advice on diabetes from a doctor who isn't diabetic? Bizarre objection to make.
    - baobabKoodaa 5y ago
      Many of the consumers in the "dating coach" industry begin from a situation where they are not meeting any women at all. Now, regardless if you are looking for short-term or long-term relationships, the first step is actually meeting new women. If a dating coach can help someone do that, great. If you don't meet any women, you won't magically stumble into a long-tetm relationship.
    - SZJX 5y ago
      That sounds partial. What prevents somebody who is still relatively young and understands the current norms, and who might even have struggled through it themselves and learned their lessons, from giving out advice? AFAIK there was a book from an Asperger guy that got 1000+ upvotes here not long ago: https://www.danielwendler.com/ https://www.danielwendler.com/ If your objection is that you are looking for a long-term relationship instead of pick-up skills, and you are not satisfied with the replies that state the supposed confidence boost from learning pick-up dynamics, there are also plenty of resources exclusively focusing on finding and maintaining long-term relationships, such as the one above.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
- offtop5 5y ago
  The most successful lifestyle/dating coach Mark Manson often glosses over him being born into wealth. It's very easy to Not Give a F** when you've always had rich parents to support you. As if your known to come from money you'll have no shortage of people who want to get to know you. It's all trash anyway. The only thing that fixed my dating life was dropping 70 pounds in my 20s. Also fixed my blood sugar! Without the chronic back pain I'm happier too. This was very hard though and took 6 months or so. I doubt ' Fix your life in 6 to 12 months by making hard choices ' would sell all that well. These books offer quick fixes which aren't practical.
  - rchaud 5y ago
    > The most successful lifestyle/dating coach Mark Manson often glosses over him being born into wealth. The best trick he pulled with "Models" is selling it as a book about dating, when it's really just about developing self-respect. I didn't know he was wealthy, but his stories aren't all that removed from your average white college guy in the 2000s. The advice he offers isn't dependent on your income. It's not like "4 hour work week" where the secret was just to pay people to take care of basic tasks and free up your time.
    - offtop5 5y ago
      In Art of Not giving a F** he quits the one real job he's ever had after 6 weeks. That's only possible if you are born into money. Even then he avoids giving out concrete advice. If I'm going to spend 20$ on a book I might as well read one by a billionaire.
      - rchaud 5y ago
        The choice is of course up to you. I haven't read "Art of not..." because it came off as one of those books cashing in on "stoicism for bros". As I understand it, that's the book that made him truly famous. My original comment refers only to what he wrote in "Models", which was written several years earlier. I would much sooner read a book about dating from a relatively average looking, average seeming guy than somebody who never had problems dating to begin with.
paulpauper 5y ago
>I Love Capitalism! by Ken Langone. more like I love Survisorship Bias

chrisseaton 5y ago

Getting rich quickly is clearly a fantasy, but what's odd about life or dating coaching? Seems unlikely that someone who does dating coaching would never have had successful dates and wouldn't know what they're talking about?

tcoff91 5y ago
What's odd about life and dating coaching is it usually ends up in an unqualified person practicing psychological counseling.
jordan_curve 5y ago
I think “dating coaching” is usually a term used akin to “pick-up artist” i.e. using manipulative tricks to convince people to have sex with you. I don’t think having there’s anything wrong with having some sort of social interaction coach or the equivalent to help learn what the social norms around dating are. Although not usually for dating, that is a form of therapy that can be helpful for people on the autism spectrum who may have trouble understanding the social cues on their own.
- phkahler 5y ago
  >> I don’t think having there’s anything wrong with having some sort of social interaction coach or the equivalent to help learn what the social norms around dating are. If you're looking for something long term why seek advice from someone that's chronically single but an expert at "dating". And if someone has been married a long time, they probably don't know anything about the current "dating scene". But if you just want to learn to hook up with lots of people then maybe they have something to teach you.
  - runawaybottle 5y ago
    They aren’t selling you dating tips, they are selling you a guide to have confidence. Part of making headway into a problem where someone has low confidence is building them up (in whatever way) to be less fearful. If you are deathly afraid of rejection, we pretty much have to hide a pill inside a donut so to speak, where one must be convinced the girl/guy across the table is no big deal. It’s a necessary evil sadly for people that suffer from chronic insecurity.
  - chrisseaton 5y ago
    > why seek advice from someone that's chronically single but an expert at "dating". And if someone has been married a long time, they probably don't know anything about the current "dating scene" Why seek advice on diabetes from a doctor who isn't diabetic? Bizarre objection to make.
  - baobabKoodaa 5y ago
    Many of the consumers in the "dating coach" industry begin from a situation where they are not meeting any women at all. Now, regardless if you are looking for short-term or long-term relationships, the first step is actually meeting new women. If a dating coach can help someone do that, great. If you don't meet any women, you won't magically stumble into a long-tetm relationship.
  - SZJX 5y ago
    That sounds partial. What prevents somebody who is still relatively young and understands the current norms, and who might even have struggled through it themselves and learned their lessons, from giving out advice? AFAIK there was a book from an Asperger guy that got 1000+ upvotes here not long ago: https://www.danielwendler.com/ https://www.danielwendler.com/ If your objection is that you are looking for a long-term relationship instead of pick-up skills, and you are not satisfied with the replies that state the supposed confidence boost from learning pick-up dynamics, there are also plenty of resources exclusively focusing on finding and maintaining long-term relationships, such as the one above.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
offtop5 5y ago
The most successful lifestyle/dating coach Mark Manson often glosses over him being born into wealth. It's very easy to Not Give a F** when you've always had rich parents to support you. As if your known to come from money you'll have no shortage of people who want to get to know you. It's all trash anyway. The only thing that fixed my dating life was dropping 70 pounds in my 20s. Also fixed my blood sugar! Without the chronic back pain I'm happier too. This was very hard though and took 6 months or so. I doubt ' Fix your life in 6 to 12 months by making hard choices ' would sell all that well. These books offer quick fixes which aren't practical.
- rchaud 5y ago
  > The most successful lifestyle/dating coach Mark Manson often glosses over him being born into wealth. The best trick he pulled with "Models" is selling it as a book about dating, when it's really just about developing self-respect. I didn't know he was wealthy, but his stories aren't all that removed from your average white college guy in the 2000s. The advice he offers isn't dependent on your income. It's not like "4 hour work week" where the secret was just to pay people to take care of basic tasks and free up your time.
  - offtop5 5y ago
    In Art of Not giving a F** he quits the one real job he's ever had after 6 weeks. That's only possible if you are born into money. Even then he avoids giving out concrete advice. If I'm going to spend 20$ on a book I might as well read one by a billionaire.
    - rchaud 5y ago
      The choice is of course up to you. I haven't read "Art of not..." because it came off as one of those books cashing in on "stoicism for bros". As I understand it, that's the book that made him truly famous. My original comment refers only to what he wrote in "Models", which was written several years earlier. I would much sooner read a book about dating from a relatively average looking, average seeming guy than somebody who never had problems dating to begin with.

paulpauper 5y ago

>I Love Capitalism! by Ken Langone. more like I love Survisorship Bias